| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I've been with my boyfriend for going on three years. He been accusing me of cheating and not trusting my every move. When we're together it's cool sometimes, but most of the times we argue about anything. It seems to me that he's not happy. We recently broke up because my phone was off and he couldn't get to me so he assumed I was with someone else or avoiding him. We've been through so much with each other and he always gets this way, and ends up calling me back. But he hasn't called and I refuse to call him. What should I do ???
View related questions:
broke up, hasn't called Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, wierd al +, writes (22 December 2005):
I belive that he is very insucer and you should end it permanitly. If he calls back I think you should tell him that you found a better boyfriend who is not insacer and you could never have a happy relationship with some one that controllung and as another reply said "you should drop him like a hot brick"
A
female
reader, Virginiaac +, writes (21 December 2005):
I agree with the previous answer. This is NOT a relationship which should be allowed to develop. Drop him like a hot brick!
...............................
A
female
reader, cridagus +, writes (21 December 2005):
He seems really insacure, also when people jump to blame others, it is usually them doing it. He seems like he wants you in his life only when it seems to him that you may be having fun. He wants the best of both worlds and to bad for him that he can not have it that way and it angers him. You are not married and owe him no explanation of what you are doing. Him calling so many times is just his little sick way of trying to control. PLEASE do not let it work. Life will only get worse and so will he.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2005): It appears that your boyfriend is insecure in this relationship. Maybe that's just him or have you done anything for him to think that he cannot trust you? I believe that your boyfriend just needs more time and attention and to feel that you really care about him and want to be with him. It is not unusual for people to get insecure in relationships but what is important is for the other partner to realise this and assure the boyfriend/girlfriend that the feelings are still there. You should phone him up, and convince him that your not cheating and that you care for him. You can make the relationship work by building trust and reassuring each other that you love each other on a regular basis. It is so easy sometimes to give up on a relationship and so many people do, it takes time, it takes effort, it takes good times and the bad for two people to begin to understand each others fears and insecurities so give your relationship a chance and begin to talk and understand each other better.
...............................
A
male
reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (21 December 2005):
 I agree with only a few of the statements from Susie Q. Maybe he is looking for an excuse to breakup with you. It sounds rediculous but the third year is the hardest. I oftened wondered why my relationships that were serious never went much past three years. After a hard look at them; my partners seem to find something that really annoyed me around that time frame. It was stupid at that point to argue over little things. They accused me of cheating and always getting my way etc..... I wonder if it's just easier to blame someone else for not being happy and wanting to leave? You sound very nice and it was a good relationship for the most part. I think maybe he will call back and if he does you might want to have a heart to heart with him about what is his problem. But if he doesn't call don't call him. Assuming you can go on with your life and be happy again. I would encourage you to go on without him and find your prince charming. Good Luck. Ed
...............................
A
female
reader, Suzie Q +, writes (21 December 2005):
Hi there,
I was in a very similar relationship until a couple of years ago. Assuming that you have never given him any reason to mistrust you, then my answer would be to get out asap! This guy is being totally posessive and controlling and not behaving how a normal, loving partner should.
I am sure that he WILL call you, as he obviously needs you in his life - but on his terms. The real question is 'what should you do when he does?' You definitely deserve better, there is no excuse for flying off the handle and causing a split-up just because your phone was off. My ex would ring 17 or 18 times in an hour if I did not answer the phone, and when you are in a relationship like that (and the rest of the time they tell you how much they love you and need you) you start to believe that this behaviour is acceptable. But it isn't!
You have been together for three years and it's not sounding good. Can you really see yourself spending the rest of your life (happily) with this man? If not, why stay in the relationship?
Hope that helps - although I know it's not as easy as it sounds. I got out after 18 months but only when a counsellor made me realise that I was not responsible for him and that I deserved more.
...............................
|
