A
female
age
30-35,
*oCal_Princess951
writes:I have 2 best friends, named Ashley and Mary. Ashley has a job and is going to school, and Mary doesn't have a job and is doing an internship and not getting paid for it, and I have a job and I'm going to school.We have all been talking about moving out for some time now but the problem is Mary can't move in because she has no way of paying, and we joke she's going to rent out a closet for $20 a month, but realistically that's not going to happen.So today Ashley and I decided to go apartment hunting to see what was out there and get an idea about prices of them. We found a few we really liked and we're willing to move in together and we'd both have our own room. The thing is, we don't know how to tell Mary that she's not going to be constantly crashing at our house. We're all pretty much like sisters and we're always together, but now that Ashley and I are getting our own place we don't want Mary to be "mooching" off of us. So how do we tell Mary that we don't want her constantly crashing at our pad, because its not fair that we're paying for everything and she's not, therefore she shouldn't be able to stay there, without losing our best friend in the process?
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 October 2010):
 Wait with accusing her of "mooching" until she actually does so. You should really wait and see if Mary doesn't get it herself by her own smarts. Don't bother lecturing her about something she hasn't done, as it would only be hurtful and completely unnecessary. Once you do move in, you and your new roomie can set up the standards for how often you want visitors and rules of the house etc. It is important that you and your roomie share the same set of rules. And then, should Mary become too intimate with your space, let her know then. Not now.
Why do you think she will mooch? She's not the one moving out, and she has her own home. And if she wants to come over when you don't have the time, simply say "no, Im busy right now", just as you would have when living at home.
Don't create problems where there are none, and don't try to deal with problems that hasn't yet surfaced.
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (27 October 2010):
 yes,how do u move out when ur so young?
and if she really was a real best friend,u wouldnt mind her staying.
after all,real friends are there when u need them
i think u just like havin her around so it can be 3 of u and not just 2.
unless she has showed bad behavior in the past,like BOONDRIGE suggested.
...............................
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (27 October 2010):
 sounds like you're not that close to her at all. lets be honest. when is this internship going to turn into a job that makes money? how is she even paying for the place you currently live with no money?
either way just look for a two bedroom appartment and then if she does come round just dont have her there all the time, be busy out doing things. if she is only round your house in the evenings a couple of nights a week or even just once she will need somewhere else to live, and thats her problem not yours.
has she been moochy so far? it sounds like your expecting this based on previous experience of moochery from this "friend with no money".
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): You're sixteen and you're moving out? How do your parents feel about this? Xxx
...............................
|
