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age
30-35,
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writes: Hey so I met someone recently, let's call him 'M'. Anyways we hit it off great, we oovoo every night and we text most the day. When we hang out, which has been once officially since we met about a week ago as he moved in with his dad (which is closer to me). It was good, we kissed twice and it felt..right. His parents like me a lot too. I just got off of oovoo with him and like he was telling me how tomorrow he has party plans at his dad's friends house. He also..told me that his dad and the friend are planning for their two kids to hook up. So M was telling me how his dad thinks he's still that kind of person but hearing that..my heart sank. The girl's prettier than me; I can't top her and they live by each other and the parents are good friends...So I don't know what I should do at all. I'm sitting here crying as I held it back the entire conversation and time I was video chatting him. He texted me 'goodnight gorgeous' and I really don't want to hold him back, especially since he can do way better than me. So I said "good night 'M' have fun tomorrow :p" he didn't text back to that or he just didn't read it because he turns his cell off at night. So, what should I do..like I have three choices in my head right now and thoughts..like will he hook up with this girl and have intimate relations with her?? (he used to be like his dad where he could be considered a player but now M is extremely not like that or at least I don't notice it)Should I just back off of him completely so he can be with someone way better than me? By that I mean she's pretty, has bigger bust line, better face, lives closer and isn'tas damaged from past relationships.Or should I just pretend like nothing has happened because I'm not even dating the guy but he even said we were talking and that he has every intent on dating me?I really don't want to be hurt again..I am already damaged enough, I'm not a great person..maybe I should...he can do better...I just want to know what other people think on this situation and what I should do..
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know I know but we have told each other we wanna hang out like a lot more and actually date.Just we are getting to know each other, he says we are talking.
I have no idea what happened tonight YET but willupdate.I have trust for him but I doubt his dad suffered a semi stroke and he wasnt able to talk to me.
My friends all doubt that too and I really get why. My exs dad suffered a stroke and I was there the entire time. Just M vanished today after that.
I might just give up. ai mean the kids great but he deserves better than me even though he told me today that he was only interested thab me. Most guys I find are shallow. I faced that fact a long time ago. I almostgot breast augmntation done til I found out if I actually weighed more than 100 lbs ( I am 5 ft so its in the low normal range) Id get bigger boobs. Just thats not happening. I guess I will cut my loses but I will update on the situation and whatever I decide to do thanks everyone:)
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 February 2012):
 You have only known him a week, I would cut my losses and back totally off. If he tells you about "blind dates" his parents set up for him to you like it's a joke, then he doesn't care about you. I think if he truly cared he would have told you that nothing would happen, that he wasn't going to date this girl, because he wanted to be with you.
Honey, no matter how pretty a girl it, how big her boobs are it really doesn't matter if her personality sucks, I doubt most men are THAT shallow.
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A
male
reader, gundam007 +, writes (5 February 2012):
Aww, this situation sucks. In doesn't sound like the guy is a player, but you need to figure out what the situation is, and fast. Tell "M" that you are interested in him. If he's dancing around the subject, then it means that he's waiting for a sign from you, and could give it up if he doesn't get any response. Sheesh, there's nothing more heartbreaking then watching two people who like each other wait for too long for the other to make a move. As for your self-confidence, you're already aware that it could use a little TLC. I commend you for that, seriously. It takes guts to admit you have some... rough edges. So, are you even ready for a relationship? Can you handle a couple of dates without getting attached and into a quasi-relationship you can't handle? Can you get this guy? Of course you can. Is it going to work out? Who knows. Your past relationships don't make you any more "damaged." They should be helping you figure out what kind of person you are, and helping you guard against being hurt in the future. Scars harden into a protective exoskeleton, allowing the beautiful you to enjoy life and develop in and out. If yours are still tender, maybe you should keep this one at arms reach and look out for the next one when you are better prepared. Oh, and if that's the case, the correct line is "I like you, but I don't think I could handle a relationship right now. Are you still free Friday?"
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A
female
reader, kittykat678  +, writes (5 February 2012):
 Well, I'm just going to try my best to answer this question and give my best shot at giving you good advice. I think you shouldn't let your past relationship affect your self esteem and self worth and I think you're being too hard on yourself and that if this guy really likes you he'll choose you over this girl despite yours or her appearance and you shouldn't think that you deserve any less happiness than anyone else you should be able to be with the person you want to be with if he choose her over you it was his loss and there is someone else out there for you.
I hoped this helped you out and made you feel better about yourself. I hope you things work out
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, uroboros  +, writes (5 February 2012):
you don't have a very high oppinion of yourself , do you?
don't read too much into what he told you. even if his dad wants him to hook up with the girl next door, it doesn't mean he wants to do so. i assume he's about your age so he is an adult, no one can tell him who to "hook up" with! :))
"When we hang out, which has been once officially since we met about a week ago" - so you two are seeing each other since a week??? well that's not an actually serious relationship, is it?in my opinion it's too soon to commit to each other, so technically he has a kind of right to see others. i'm sure it's not what you wanted to hear, but your relationship needs time, and i guess it's too soon to be certain if you're made for each other.
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