A
male
age
41-50,
*r.Bisteeya
writes:"I just don't understand, we use to talk all the time, see each other 3 or 4 times a week. Now he just calls once a week, I know it's because he is just busy because when we talk he is sweet to me and tells me he I'm his princess. When we have sex its great and I can tell he is really into me. I am sooo ready for us to get married and be together!! He is my Jack Dawson!"Or..."We only see each other twice a week, it's the perfect relationship, we both have our space. But, sometimes when I need him he isn't available or doesn't answer his phone, I'm sure its just bad cell coverage. I think over time, once he stops being scared of a relationship that will get better. Because I know he is taking it slow so that we end up together, it's going to be perfect!"Or..."He only calls when he wants to come over or me come to his house and have sex, when we are together its amazing, I just wish we could do other things like go on dates and hang out more. I guess that will come the more we get to know each other."Uhm… No it wont, ever. Why? Because you let him. Let him what?Have his cake and eat it too…Its every mans dream and guess who is the boss when it comes to allowing the cake having and eating? You. The woman. If you let him, he will, yes even your man who kisses you in the rain and tells you that your eyes are like little moons of love.I am the admitted king of having my cake and eating it too. I know everything to say, every twist, every approach possible to stay in a state of having a full belly and a fresh slice of cake on my plate.While to date I have never lied or led anyone on(purposely), I have maintained a lifestyle of excess for years now.Why? Because they let me.Some are ok with it, some are hoping it turns into more, but trust me, like I said from date number 1, it won't. You know the deal, however you allow me to only see you every so often and never commit, that doesn't make me an asshole, that makes you dumb.Women, wise up, if you let him treat you like a whore then he will.If you let him treat you like Thursday girl, he will. If you let him spend time with you purely at his convenience, he will. If you let him ignore you, then he will. If you let him get away with you paying every time, then he will. If you let him get away with never taking you out, then he will.Yes, even your guy, the one that is going to be "the one guy that proves to me all guys aren't the same".All that is fine, as long as you aren't thinking "he's going to come around and commit any day now, I can feel it…"If you want to be treated like a princess then act that way. Demand it, if he can't or won't then next in line please.It's funny, in our society today all women are scared to make a man commit or talk about relationships because they fear they will run him off. It's the biggest taboo that any woman can do, ask "where is this going?" I'd rather a woman ask me if she can whip me with a garden hose than ask that question…However, that is insane. That's a perfectly legitimate question, if that scares him then so what, it's not going to work anyway, move on, find someone new. Of course don't ask it a week after you meet him, but at some point (few months) you need to know if he is even available for a commitment. If not, you will be cake, I promise you.Some of you have icing on you as you read this, of course you are the same ones reading and saying "Its different for me and my Bobby, he is just stressed from work, that's why he doesn't call very much, he loves me SO much, four days ago he told me so, we are soul mates". No, no you aren't. You are his whore. Sorry to break it to you. What was that you say? You don't want to find someone new because you feel so good when you are with him and he treats you so good? Well of course he does, he only has to see you twice a week. Don't get me wrong, some women are ok with this arrangement and there is nothing wrong with that. Lots of women just want a guy to see every so often, show them a good time, company and toe curling orgasms and then move on, that is perfectly respectful and ok. However if you want more than this but continue to let him only give you this, then you are enabling it, it doesn't make him an asshole, it makes him a man, it's your fault.Put your foot down and say: "enough is enough, we have had enough time to find out if we like each other, if we are compatible, if we mesh, I need you to get in this with me, I need you to be there for me when I need you, I need a full time partner in this, not you to keep checking in and out when its convenient for you, now either we are gonna do this or we aren't."If he can't respect that then he isn't a man, of course he might tell you to take a walk but at least you and your emotions/feelings aren't dangling from a string anymore.Before you have that conversation you better be ready for the consequences though. If you take a stand, he says take a walk and you text him 2 nights later at 11pm asking him how he is doing and that you miss him then you will be the butt of him and his friends jokes the next day at lunch. You will be there for his penis only until you take the next "stand".The moral of this blog is that you are in control of how you are treated, you set the rules, you set the boundaries; don't leave them up to anyone else. That applies to any area your life, YOU dictate how you are treated.
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move on, orgasm, soul mates, soulmate, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009):
Hmm... your post rather urks me! You come across rather sexist and the post suggests that you are something of a player. The fact that you have felt the need to explode all this onto here suggests to me that this is something you have needed to get off your chest. -if you have been experiencing this misunderstanding a lot, doesn't that suggest that you have let/ led a number of women into this misunderstanding and hurt? So why haven't you told each of them this rather than submitted it to an obscure post on here?
Am I right in understanding- this has happened time and time over with many/ each of your partners, and that; 'it's not your fault. it's their fault! -each and every one of them! Actually- it's all women's fault!'
umm... well...
any post which can cause such comment as,
'Yeah i agree with rhythmandblues2, you can't solely blame women.' is quite clearly generalising to try and excuse a number of failed relationships.
So have you been handing this post out as a flyer to new girls you meet? It might serve as a warning to them! -Stay away!
This man should come with the warning;
'If you let him ignore you, then he will'!
What a charmer!
A
female
reader, betty_black  +, writes (25 May 2009):
 Yeah i agree with rhythmandblues2, you can't solely blame women. A lot of men are convincing creatures, they make you feel on top of the world and you dont realise what they're truly like until one day they just decide to stop talking to you or whatever. If a man was honest once in a while and told a woman what the score was then im sure it was save her alot of hurt in the long run. Its about time men kept their cock in their pants and had a little romance inside them again! And if they really want to be a creep, at least tell the woman that theyre only after sex! Not make her feel amazing to get your sex then leave!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): Well, honey, it is not always completely the woman's fault. Men do lie, they manipulate and they do it on purpose and can be very convincing, I mean we all have lives and unless we are living together there will be more time apart......and often they do not know what they want....or even fall out of love....everything is not always so black and white......things happen and things don't work out more often than not it seems....so not all women are allowing bad treatment, they believe in what they feel and what the man is doing....so it would be nice that men like you would take some responsibility and not treat women like whores and take responsibility for setting her straight, you know being HONEST
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): Very good post. It will be nice for women to get it from a mans perspective :)
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