A
female
age
36-40,
*lackbeltbaby
writes:i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we have lived together for 2 and up until last week, he was (minus a few stupid arguments)"Mr Perfect".last weekend, for whatever reason... i had a little look on his mobile phone. i saw a message from a girl who we both know (they work in a shop together), and it said "that image will stick ikn my mind for ages... naughty boy", naturally i read a total of 15 others and the replys he sent before i gave into my feelings and threw up. these were detailed, sordid sexual messages with video's and pictures mentioned. he cried, said that although she wanted to meet he just wanted to keep it as texting and email as he didnt "want to hurt me".i went to a friends and cried for almost 24 hours, work wasnt even in my mind as i could barely pull myself together to have a drink of water.i came home, and we talked... he said it was a fasination to see if this girl would do anything, and he would never take it further than messages.i asked, did you send videos or pictures or use email etc... the answer was... i swear on your life i did nothing like that.this morning, i cannot help myself, and have a gander at his phone and find more messages from here that he has deleted months ago (without realising he has a deleted items parts to his phone). along witht his messages were..photos of her breasts and vaginapicture of him topless (posing)pictures of his penispictures of his penis while masterbatingvideos of him masterbating.i asked him why he lied, and swore on my life...i didnt want to hurt you.the fact is he lied, and then lied again.a woman who he has to work with everyday and i have to see frecuently has seen pictures and videos of his penis (for all i know she still has them).i see my boyfriends penis as a very intamite body part that only i got to see and enjoy and then i found out that the day after he sent it to her phone, she showed another girl that he works with.i love him, and i cannot imagine life without him, but i honestly have no idea what to do.... how can i ever trust him?!?
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male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (24 May 2008):
 Yikes... he's a closet scumbag.
Take a break from him, for a few weeks, to clear your mind. Cut off most contact with him, so that he can't be there to talk you into anything. You need a period of time to be alone and consider your feelings and your options. You can live without him, believe it or not. After he's done something like this, it would take a long time for the trust to be rebuilt. And he's apparently willing to lie to your face, which means that chances are he'll lie again at some point down the road. He's shown you a HUGE lack of disrespect by having an affair with someone you both know, someone he works with. He's treated you like crap, and you don't deserve that.
So PLEASE find some inner strength and tell him you want to spend some time apart for a while so that you can clear your head. Don't jump right back into the relationship. Tell him to go stay with a friend, or you can go stay with a friend...
He's immature and has a lot of growing up to do, it's a matter of whether or not you want to wait around for it.
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (24 May 2008):
 Ive no idea, because i never could. To swear on your life? The bloke is an immature prat that doesn't deserve you anymore. He's obviously needing female attention and doesn't sound like he is anyone you will be able ro rely on again.
Ultimately the choice has to be yours though. But i doubt he will stop there, sounds like he's well on the way to having an affair to me. The lies and deceit are horrible.
C xxxx
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