A
female
age
41-50,
*lue10
writes:Really need advice Haven't spoken to a guy who I got close to but it didn't work for various reasons We had a huge falling out but last year (January )he asked to meet me and we had a coffeeAfter that we didn't talk again So this year I texted him xmas dayHe responded and said happy xmasAn hour later I got a text from him saying he really meant it and was sorry for the way he treated me before etcNow 11 days later nothing Don't know what this means ??
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female
reader, Blue10 +, writes (7 January 2017):
Blue10 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks all for your time
We're really good friends before any of this and I would like to build on that but I was gonna ask him for a coffee but bit nervous to
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 January 2017):
 It means that, YOU took the initiative to send him Xmas wishes, and he responded- how it is normal and civil to do. Then he took this chance to , basically, apologize and express his regrets for the lousy way he treated you.
Stop. The end. This does not require any further communication. What kind of communication were you expecting ?
He never had much time or use for you till now, now he would become your best pal just because you wish him Merry Xmas ?... It does not make a whole lot of sense, I am sure you see it too, OP.
He may genuinely regret having treated you
unkindly in the past - but the fact that he offered you his apologies does not mean that he wants you offer anything more, like affection or a relationship or whatnot.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (7 January 2017):
He can still be genuinely sorry and not want to rekindle a friendship. Perhaps a few texts per year is friendsip enough for him.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (6 January 2017):
If this guy treated you like shit, why are you wanting to maintain contact with him at any level? Why bother sending him Xmas wishes? Why not block him from your phone? Why waste time wondering what it "means"?
I don't think he really wants to stay in touch although you might hear from him every now and then when he finds himself at a loose end or in need of an ego rub.
You hadn't heard from him for nearly a year until he responded to your text at Xmas - that should be proof enough that he's not really fussed about maintaining contact.
Is 2 weeks long for what? Not to have heard from someone? For someone who is interested in a romantic relationship or a close friendship, two weeks is a quite a long time. For casual acquaintances - it's not long at all.
But I really don't think this guy is interested in maintaining anything beyond the most sporadic contact. It's time to stop flogging the dead horse
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A
female
reader, Blue10 +, writes (6 January 2017):
Blue10 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks honey pie
I'm sad as he used to be a very good friend
I wanted to believe he truly was sorry but after 2 weeks heard nothing
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 January 2017):
 He probably wants to stay "fresh" in your mind. If you are busy wonder why he is doing this or that... or trying to analyze HIM... you are not moving forward and dumping him (mentally) from your life. He wasn't a positive experience or person, so you DO NOT need to keep in contact.
Cut him lose and if he pops in your head, tell yourself WHO the F cares what he thinks or does!?
Know what I mean?
You CHOSE to reach out to him with a Merry X-mas.. why? What was the point? Think on that and then decide do you WANT him to continue to live "rent free" in your head? To have ANOTHER opportunity to mess with you?
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A
female
reader, Blue10 +, writes (6 January 2017):
Blue10 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for replying No he trested me quite rubbish A few years Ago he said he wanted to be with me but at the time was with someone who he had got a house with Bizarrely he stayed out of loyalty until some mortgage thing had been sortedHe's been alone last few years but before this kept me hanging on the fence And would text now and againI don't understand why when he was really into me then done that and even tried to add ME to Facebook which I rejectedSo he doesn't want to stay in touch ?Is 2 weeks long ?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 January 2017):
I agree with Ruby.
He wanted to apologize and YOUR happy Christmas text gave him a chance to give you (and himself) just that.
Doesn't mean anything MORE than that.
I would not expect anything else from him.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (6 January 2017):
The fact that he sent you a Christmas message and an apology It means he has moved on from the incident enough to forgive and not treat you like an enemy. Tis the season of goodwill after all.
It does not mean, however, that he wishes to be friends or rekindle anything. The fact that he's made no more contact with you since then confirms this.
Are you still hoping to rekindle something? What was the argument about? It's really difficult for things to go back the way they were after a huge falling out. But it's possible to be civil and not harbour bitterness.
That's all it means
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