A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Im a sorry that this is so long but it is really urgent and I could do with the help. Please take the time to read!I thought Id ask to see what people on here think I should do. There is this lad at school (lets call him Fred Flinstone) and he has a majour crush on me!We did used to be friends. We are 15 and he is the same age (he is very impresionable). I only share 2 lessons with him they are science (seven times over the 2 week timetable) and citizenship (2 times over the 2 week timetable)Well, he has been really weird.1) he saved the pictures of me that were on the schools sample drive (the files that are there for all pupils and teachers to see, like help sheets and pictures of like work experience and things like that) Anyway, he then used the school e-mail system to e-mail them to himself and saved them on his home computer. (this will also have other relevance later)2) he kept e-mailing me saying he loved me and sending poems, I know this should be flattering but it was every time I logged on my mail box was flooded and I told him to stop but he didnt. 3) There is a picture of me hugging this other lad (everyone knows he isnt my BF because he is my best mates BF and when the 3 of us were hanging around with each other we took random photos and one was me and this other lad hugging) anyway "Fred" saw this photo. When we went for a day at a college to see what college was like "Fred" ended up going to this lads college. He saw him at lunchtime and glared at him and said "I Hate you!" but in a threatening manner. My friend told me of this because he was aware of the other things and was slightly worried by his reaction to such a minute thing.4) He e-mailed another male friend of mine (yes, I do have way more male friends than female ones, lads are just so much easier to talk to about stuff like games and music and dont care about personal oppinions) anyway, he was asking him to send some pctures of me that he had ( I had sent him and asked which was best and said he could keep them like, you know friends do have photos of each other) anyway, he didn't know that I had told Fred he isn't to have the photos and sent them. Fred then saved them to his computer aswell making his collection of photos of me being around 47 - my parents dont even have that many of me! 5) if I went in the library after school, he did, if i went to My IT teachers room (Lets call him Mr. Pepsi)after school for the study club, he would turn up there aswell. I then began to wonder around the school for about 5 minutes after school befor I chose where to stay. he would also wonder around and then suddenly go to where I went. 6) In science I have become really uncomfortable, I did at one point sit next to him in one of the science rooms which made me really ill and i felt really uncomfortable there so I asked my teacher to move us. She did but he still stares at me. It really creeps me out and I cannot cocentrate on my work because of it. 7) At dinner I always go to the library and he does so like wise. he always has done but he started to come mither me, spoke to me bothered me watched me and what i was doing. So i put in my headphones so that it would be clear I didn't want to be spoken to. So, instead of speaking to me he would talk to my friends on the computers next to me while staring at my computer.8) remember how I said he had photos of me? well, i e-mailed him and asked him to delete them. he then sent me a link to a wikipedia search on human rights and said I needed to play a game. he said if i could find one way he was effecting his human rights he would delete them. There was no way I was going to read all through that site so I just e-mailed him back telling him I did not give my consent for him to posses those pictures so he is illegally h0lding them. he still didnt delete them and contuned saying "You will need to play"9) He got really jealous of my male teachers. He even sent a petition in the library to get them fired (He even said that he wanted one killed, the teacher that I was rumoured to have a crush on!)10) one of my friends got worried and sent him an e-mail gently telling him to leave me alone and that if he stopped now I would still be his friend but I never wished to be anything more (she hoped that perhaps some-one other than me telling him might get the message across, it didnt)11) My friend came to me one day in school and said that while out of school he had told her to watch her back (Im not sure how reliable she is but he had wanted my teacher dead and said stuff in a threatening manner to someone else so it is highly likely)12) He began to stroke my hair. I told him to stop it. He did but then a few minutes later he did it again so I shouted (in the middle of study club which was full of people) STOP IT! And I ran. 13)He never did delete the photos and still had them on his e-mail so I went to the technitians at school and asked them to log onto his account and delete the messages. They did because they agreed that unwanted photos of me was a good enough reason for the mails to be deleted. 14) Everyone then began to tell him that he should back off. At first when it was just the odd e-mail saying he loved me ant the occasional poem people thought it was sweet, but then this began so they told him to calm down a bit. He didnt.I told Mr pepsi about the case an asked him for help because he was the teacher I was closest to and the one that I thought would understand most - how wrong was I? He said I was making a mountain out of a mole hill and that I can cope. He didnt give me chance to tell him about all of the things (even the fact that Fred had wanted to get him fired This hurt alot. It really felt like the knife was being sent in through my chest and out through my back I had to fight myself to stop my from crying.But I didnt feel I could and took matters into my own hands.I wrote clearly on a peice of paper (by this point I was admitidly slightly too scared to talk to him, also, I did want it recorded so that I couldnt be accused of threatening him) telling him Not to talk to me, e-mail me, have images of me, not to have voice clips or videos of me and not to contact me in anyway (I did this because some of my friends were begining to distance themselves seeing how he reacted and I wanted to still be with my friends and deffinitly did not want to be left on my own with him.)And then after school me and my friends were looking through our e-mail history to look back at the laughs (we had nothing else to do for the next hour) anyway, I was just clicking through the e-mails and accidently went onto an e-mail I had recieved off him and had forgotten to move. She read it and got scared. My other friend who we were showing our convos to was scared aswell. The e-mail 9which I had chosen to ignore) Said "I am sorry but I do not know what else to do except hurt those that hurt my emotions" and my friends were scared because they felt that as a threat and so told a passing teacher and she said we should see the deputy head. I then found that I instead would have to see my English teacher (who is also one of the 4 deputy heads) I didnt want to. Me and my English teacher never got on so my friends literally dragged me in and told her. Fred then went in and showed her what I had given him (in a none physical act of self defence and to defend the people I cared about). The next day, last lesson (Citizenship) a behaviour manager came into our lesson and asked to take us out (every one in the class started making noises. I got out of the classroom first and miss asked what was up with them and i said "Oh, they know", because everyone knew what he was doing). Anyway, she took us to a secluded room, fred sat close to her while I sat at the back of the room, she told me to move closer so i did slightly but i didnt want to move any closer. I was then told I had to apologies to him for bullying him. I tried to make clear my argument but any time I did she cut me mid sentance and said I was making too much fuss over a little crush. I never did get to make my side of the story. She then made me apoligies to him and told me that I had to talk to him/e-mail him. She also said that f I didnt he could tell her and that she wll have another word with me about bullying.But to me this made me more worried, with how weird he had acted he was now getting the satisfaction that I was in the wrong to reject him (Gently, All i did was say that at 15 im not ready to start a relationship) and that he was in the right to continue.Please help! I have no idea what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions. I think it is clear that the school wont help in this situaton. I just dont know what to do! Please, Mail me or post, Any help will be greatly appriciated.
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female
reader, Tevote  +, writes (1 January 2009):
 Hey there, I would tell you to do what everyone else has advised you to do.
There isn't a lot you can do now because the emails are gone, if he does email you again and it's a serious email-Print it off immediatly and show the teachers that one...
I think you should definetely confront a teacher about it who will LISTEN to you, and the one that you said that you were closest to-if you feel like if you tell him the whole story he will understand, then tell him. Yeah I dunno.
It's a pretty sticky situation, maybe if you pretend you have a boyfriend with one of your 'guy friends' he might back off...I don't know, or maybe just a little.
All I can tell you is to find some way to make people listen, to get the truth out about how this is effecting you and what it's doing to your life.
Sorry if that wasn't very logical lol.
Goodluck, hopefully he does back off.
A
female
reader, blackroses2989  +, writes (1 January 2009):
 Sweet heart if you dont have the emails saved, there isnt anything you can do. Dont do what your teachers tell you, herassment is herassment, especially this severe. You need to tell the police, they may confront your teacher and ask her if indeed you did show her the emails, she will then have confess that she had you delete them. If you tell the police everything, they will help, they cant do any thing without written/ documented proof, but as soon as he sends you any more emails, he will be toast. Also tell the police he has a collage of photos of you and they can search his things. Tell them you asked him ot delete them, and he did not have your consent to possess any of those photos. Please act quickly, especially if he is still bothering/ stalking you. hugs and kisses and best of luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI cant show anyone the e-mails. The school made me delete them. When I said to her that I had saved every e-mail received and sent the teacher told me to delete them. So I deleted the folder. I dont have them saved anymore.
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A
female
reader, blackroses2989 +, writes (31 December 2008):
No you are not the one who is wrong, they just arent listenig and they aren't hearing you, make them listen. If your teachers wont then, you need to contact the police and show them the emails. You also needed to tell your parents, so they become aware of whats going on at school. Goodluck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut, I have tried to tell him to stop - it failed. And, I had told a teacher, and I said I kept the e-mails (both which I received from and sent to him). The Behaviour manager just told me to delete them and that I had to talk to him. I did tell my Deputy head teacher. That iis why we were taken out of lesson and given a "Conference" but anytime i spoke she cut me short. I know he is very impretionable but I didnt think it gave him the right to do this and I thought the teachers would help more. They didn't, i mean, what help is makeing me apologies?
So, Am I the 1 in the wrong?
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A
female
reader, samsmommy +, writes (31 December 2008):
 There is definitely something wrong with this guy and you need to talk to every single teacher there is in that school until someone listens to you. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm sure you're already scared enough, but things like this happen often, someone becomes obsessed with another person and it often turns to full on stalking and no one does anything until something happens.
I'm a more confrontational person so if it were me I would have already made it known that I am NOT the person to mess with. I don't know if that's the type of person you are, but I would definitely let him know that you ARE NOT going to let him keep doing this. I would always try to make sure one of your friends are with you, somebody. Don't go wandering the halls alone, you don't know what this guy is capable of and honestly he sounds like a major nut job.
If you need any more help or want to talk msg me anytime, I really hope this gets sorted out and he stops messing with you. It sounds really creepy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): Get your teachers to talk to him about it. This is an ivasion of privacy! If you get a teacher or someone like that to talk to him it should calm down, also confront him and say htat you're really freaked out by his behaviour and you wish for him to delete all the photoos, stop asking for more and to STOP sending the poems because you think that they are really reallyl bad aswell as the fact that they clog up your inbox.
henri
xxxx
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A
female
reader, pinksky32002 +, writes (31 December 2008):
I think all contact with him needs to come to an end. when he sends an email print it off. and if he talks to you maybe you should carry a tape recorder around for proof of how he acts. This can lead to a scary situation. if he threatens your life and the life of others this is a big deal. he's harrassing you! ignore him... I think that will be the best thing you could do. if he tries to talk to you just ignore him. don't be his friend. talk to your parents about what's going on... that is after you have enough proof of how this boy acts. tell your parents you need their help and maybe they can call his parents or can talk to your teachers for you. I hope this helps. Good Luck to you. keep me posted!
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A
female
reader, blackroses2989 +, writes (31 December 2008):
This may sound extreme, but he is clearly threatening you and your friends, you need to go to the police and have a restraining order placed on him, Show them every email that he snt you. Make copies. He needs to stop, this isnt a game anymore its scary and its preventing you from living a comfortable life. you need to also go to your principal and vice principal and show them all of the emails. no normal 15 year old boy would do this to a girl they fancied. It needs to stop, tell as many people as you can, make them aware. This is wrong and illegal for him to do. This is very serious. The more people that are aware, the more ppl can help stop it. Good luck sweetheart, and plz do as I advised. I seriously think this boy is psychotic.
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