A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a question about a 24 year old dating a 17 year old. I'm 24 and 7 months, and I do have a crush on a 17 year old highschooler. I'm wondering is it ok to get to know her and become close friends? I know I can't have sex, but would casual dating be ok? I don't know if I should tell her I'm done highschool, because she may not want anything to do with a young man anyway.
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female
reader, auntyR  +, writes (6 November 2011):
the only problem that you may come across is the maturity side of things. Being a 17 year old she will be interested in things that you may no longer be bothered about. Her way of thinking will also be alot more immature then you and this could become annoying. I'm 25 and the thought of dating a 18 year old is just a nightmare to me.
A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (5 November 2011):
 Be honest with her and see how she responds to it. I am 21 now and I am seeing someone who is 17 and it is working out really well but you really have to be honest. It really is your job as the older one to make sure she is comfortable with anything that happens regaurding the relationship. The age gap is by no means too great and as you both get older it matters even less. If you are actually going to care about her then is is just fine. her friends may not be too keen on the idea and you will have to prove yourself to them but if you are willing to put all that effort in then it should be ok. Also don't forget about her parents. My advice there is meet them early on and show them that you are a good guy. We can't help who we are attracted to.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (5 November 2011):
Get to know each other on dates and see how it goes, who cares about the age difference. I dated a 17yr old when I was 24 and we had a great relationship.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 November 2011):
 it's a bit of a gray area for me. I am fully supportive of age gap relationships when folks are older... the younger folks I tend to discourage larger gaps (more than 3 or more years) because of life stage differences.and when one is over 18 and one is under... i advise running away... in this case, unless she just turned 17, I would advise you to be casual friends with her until she turns 18 and then perhaps get closer.I would expect her parents to be wary of your attentions on their under age daughter. To be honest if a 24 year old MAN wanted to hang out with my 17 yr old CHILD I would wonder why.... and I'd be very cautious. I would suggest that you spend almost all your time at first with her at her parents home when they are there in public areas of the home.... let the parents see that you are harmless and safe and let them get to know you and learn to trust you.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (5 November 2011):
 I would question why you feel a girl at such a young age appeals to you? because she is so young she may appear to act older but most girls will not want to be in anything serious, and will often change her mind. Even if you say she is not like most girls, i still feel that this is a little no go area. Many people will say age is but a number, I would say yes if the girl/boy is older than 25 becasue at that age they are more settled in there life and know where they are heading, younger than that ii dont think they really understand life as much as they think they do. hope you work it out, but maybe you need to look into yourself and understand why you would WANT to date a girl so much younger ?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2011): If u can't be honest with her then obviously u can't be friends with her either. Friendship isn't based on secrecy, lies, and deception. Also I'm not sure of your countrys code in regard to adults and minors, however I do suggest u contact your local police department and ask them. They will be more able to encourage u or discourage u based on the law. Furthermore if ur apprehensive about the whole making friends with a female high school student ur fond of then I suggest u listen to ur gut instincts if they're telling u proceed no further. Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 November 2011):
 There is nothing wrong with dating someone who is younger than you, as long as you respect that it is illegal to be intimate with her well then that's fine. But be prepared for some back lash as not everyone would agree with a guy at your age going after young girls so you may find that a few people will lose respect for you, you need to keep that in mind. If you want to become her friend well then do so, but be truthful to the girl about your age and what you do. Don't lie as it will backfire believe me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2011): First off, DON'T lie about your situation. If you're finished high school, you should tell her right from the start. If you ever do get together, you don't want your relationship to be based upon lies.I think it's ok to get to know her, providing that's what she wants too. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. but you do need to remember the fact that she's still young, and the things you've already learnt in life, she's probably only learning now. Depending on her maturity, and yours, you may be on different wave lengths.I have two friends, a 24 year old guy and a 17 year old girl. They were together for about a year, and it worked because she was very mature for her age. however, the older guy soon realised that he was getting to the stage in his life where he was ready to settle down, and she was not.in short, no, there's nothing wrong with getting to know her at all, as long as it's mutual. and don't lie/hide the truth from her.Good luck and keep us posted! x
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