A
female
age
41-50,
*ala81
writes:We've been together for 9 years now and have an 18 month old son. We are financially secure and have a fairly good relationship and even though we've discussed marriage he hasn't proposed?Should I just give up on the idea or keep dropping subtle hints? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2008): I would just have a chat with him - just find out what his thoughts are on marriage. He may not believe in marriage. It sounds like he is very committed to you anyway with 9 years under your belt and an 18 month son. He may just need a gentle reminder. Friends of mine got married after being together for 9 years - they have now been happily married for 3 years. I don't know what makes people take so long in getting married but we all have our reasons, I guess. Just don't issue any ultimatums, unless you want to risk losing him.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 November 2008):
 I think you shouldn't drop "subtle" hints. I think hints are a very bad idea. If the person doesn't get them, it's as if you were winking in the dark: only you know what you're doing. If the person gets them, but is smart enough to pretend s/he didn't, then hints don't serve their purpose.
He's happy with you (witness the nine years and the son), but I'm afraid he doesn't want to marry. Signing the paper is the problem for him.
I'm afraid that you have to choose. Put pressure on him, and then he might leave, or stay where you are, and then you will be upset.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2008): you should propose.
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