A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of 8 years told me on Thanksgiving that she is unhappy and wants to take a break. She has been my girlfriend for 8 years and fiancé for almost 3. We own a home together. This is so hard on me seeing her everyday and not knowing what she is doing. She says there isn't another man involved, that we got together when we were young and she didn't get to experience her life. I don't know what to do with myself, all i do is think about her and what she is doing. We are still living in the house together and sleeping in same bed but we haven't been intimate since she told me she was unhappy. We are on speaking terms and do still get along its just she doesn't want to have anyone to answer to she says. My question is how do i get her off my mind, i think of her and what she is doing every second of the day. It is hard seeing her every day and not know where and what she is doing. I can't afford to leave and go stay somewhere else at this point.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): that happens alot with relationships that are from the beginning one person and then goes that way for a while....
just let her go have fun....
it wont mean anything in the end because she will realize youve been her everything for a long time now....
and at the end of it your relationship will be stronger or
maybe it breaks but that will mean you finally have a chance at true love so celebrate the new experience youll learn from in either direction
also two things she might be doing....
1) waiting for you to get the cohones to marry her already
2) getting tired of waiting
3)getting bored with the monotony of the situation
no matter what be open and honest and everything will be ok
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): that happens alot with relationships that are from the beginning one person and then goes that way for a while....
just let her go have fun....
it wont mean anything in the end because she will realize youve been her everything for a long time now....
and at the end of it your relationship will be stronger or
maybe it breaks but that will mean you finally have a chance at true love so celebrate the new experience youll learn from in either direction
also two things she might be doing....
1) waiting for you to get the cohones to marry her already
2) getting tired of waiting
3)getting bored with the monotony of the situation
no matter what be open and honest and everything will be ok
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): Hope this helps. Let her go... For now! Move in with someone like a friend and give her time . Try to get on with you life as much as possible. I met my husband when I was 14 and married when I was 19. I went thru the same thing your 'gf is going thru but I couldn't hurt him. I am now 36 and regretting never being able to experience life on my own. Now I face hurting him even more and wasting all of those years of his life. She is doing you a favor. She is thinking..,give her space and when she chooses it will be the right choice and you may get her forebear. Hang in there
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A
female
reader, tss18 +, writes (14 December 2010):
 im sorry that you are going through this. i can relate to your girlfriend alot. i have been with my man since i was a freshman in highschool. sometime after i turned eighteen i felt like she does, i wanted to live life, and not deal with anyone or what they had to say. my boyfriend kinda took it the same way you are. he was very heartbroken and didnt know what to do. he actually pushed me away further because when i needed space he overcrowded me and that made me want to stay away more. so im not sure how to get her off your mind other than tell you to go out and have a good time with friends but dont do anything to upset her and try your best to give her the space she needs right now. just let her know your there and that your willing to let her have this break.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): :(
I think talking to her sincerely about how you feel, in a serious sit- down conversation, is necessary.
She may not be as decided about this decision as she has made you believe. Use your best persuasive tactics and try to make her see that 8 years of serious relationship cannot be simply thrown away... she can't ignore your importance in your life, made evident by how much time she invested and how much (I know) she still cares about you.
I do not think she is right in turning away and leaving you behind. She cannot simply cut you out of her life.
-Tante Victoire
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