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*ac5000
writes: Hi all, I'm at a bit of a loss, So here's my story and I hope you can help.I met MJ 2 years ago and who things were so perfect. We used to have sex all the time, and it was great. I work a lot of shifts and whenever we saw each other we'd jump at the chance to do it. But now it's been 5 months since we have had intercourse and 2 months since we intermatkey touched each other. We had a bit of a split recently and things have been great since but she says she just isn't ready to do it again, and that we're so great together and our relationship is so strong that we don't need it. Granted, to her we are strong but, I feel like I want to do it and every time I'm round her I crave that attention we shared. It gets to me. because you start asking those typical questions like, If she's not getting it off me, where is she, and things like that. She is the most faithful person I know but I'm losing trust for her beucuse I feel like she's hiding something. Deep down we go so well together that we know we want kids and to get married etc, But I just dont know what to do.What can I do to put the spark back in my girl and get back to how things were?Any help please ... MK1
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reader, Blightybloke +, writes (2 May 2005):
If she's the most faithful girl you know then why are you worried about where she is 'getting it'? Why not ask her when she would feel ready to start intimate relations with you - and maybe consider that she does not fully trust you again yet? And if she feels unable to have a sexual relationship with you again maybe you will have to consider the future with her as this is obviously a very important area for you.
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reader, Ruth +, writes (2 May 2005):
Every relationship has its ups and downs when it comes to sex. From a woman's point of view, it's not the be all and end all. We like to have a cuddle and feel safe. You'll probably find in time that she'll be back to her frisky self. You just need to give her a bit of space and be understanding. It might be frustrating but if your relationship is strong then you'll get through this. It's just the way us woman work unfortunately. You wait until you ever have children!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2005): A relationship without trust? hmm..to me it sounds like she is cheating on you or she has a medical condition (i.e. an STD or even something like depression maybe). No offense mate, but if you had it all the time and suddenly not for 5 months and not even touched each other for 2 months you need to think again. Besides, how can you have children without having sex?I'm no expert but I think your relationship is over. Don't get married as you don't feel the same way as you did and of course all the insecurities and lack of trust knowing something is not right. Don't have children with her either..they aren't toys and can affect a child a lot if parents are separated and such like.Answer to the question "What can I do to put the spark back in my girl and get back to how things were?" ... you could spend loads of money on her but that won't do anything to help your relationship (unless of course, she is a gold-digger).I think you both need to sit down and talk, "Deep down we go so well together that we know we want kids and to get married etc" sound like you presume that and not totally sure if she wants that, and if she is cheating and you getting more distant then likely getting married is the least she wants to do. You need to put your foot down and say you hate how you both are now and that you liked how things used to be (and don't highlight about sex, a suggestion would be: How close you both were etc. (well you would know more about the situation then me) and somewhere stuff sex in as well, but don't say to her that you hate us now as we don't have sex, wouldn't make her feel very good I dont think) and threaten to leave her.
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