A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im struggling, my heart hurts my head is all over the place. My life has been shattered im 38weeks 4days pregnant with my first child ive gone from being happy nesting for the arrival to scared alone and wondering how im going to cope. He says he loves me as the mother of his child and he'll look after us both but im in love with him still please tell me it gets better. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (24 January 2014):
Hi there. First of all, how long has this relationship been going for?
Is it a long term relationship prior to now - 2 years or more?
Or, is it less than 6 months old?
Prior to falling pregnant, I mean.
So what I am really asking here, is have you only just met him a few months before you became pregnant?
And were you living together or separately - prior to your breakup?
No matter which it is, it's possible that maybe he is getting a little bit scared, thinking about how his life will change once the baby is born.
And some men DO get scared.
They can start to realize just how much their lives will change and the extra responsibility - both time and money.
And how it will mean they won't be able to go out and socialize with their mates, anymore.
Perhaps this is where he is at, right now.
I realize you are almost about due, and so he has been thinking about changed circumstances all this time, and he finally made a decision about it.
Unfortunately, you can't force him to change his mind if it doesn't feel right to him.
At the very least, he has said he will look after you and your baby, once it is born.
And assuming also, he will want to play a part in your baby's life.
And so if that ends up happening, you are going to be seeming him in any case.
It could be something he is coming to terms with - pending fatherhood - and in time to come, he may start to feel better about the whole thing.
When he distances himself from it, he may even find he thinks differently about everything.
There is no way to know absolutely, what will happen in the months to come.
It's going to be a process, and a BIG adjustment for everyone concerned.
For now, just look after yourself and your unborn child, and do whatever the doctor tells you to do, and await the happy event.
You will need to ask him at some point, if he would like to be present at the birth.
He might want to.
At least give him the opportunity, as he has a right to be there - as the biological father.
In any case, soon, you are going to have to sit down together to discuss how things will go - financially and about him seeing his child.
You will need to come to some agreement about it all.
This has to happen, in any case.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2014):
Aww sweetie, I wish I could give you a cuddle and let you cry..
He picked a real jammy time to end things hasn't he .. But we are not concentrate on mr donkey .. It's time to concentrate on you and lil bump..
Are you living alone or with your parents ?
What support do you have from family n friends?
What things do you need for baby ? Give him the list .
Then once baby has come and you cradle that lil person in your arms and you look into their eyes and theirs into you .. You will realise you will cope much more than you realise .. You are strong .. You are a tiger ... You are now becoming a mamma ..
Take care and let the people who love you support you ..
Sending hugs x
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