A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Thanks in advance. I really hope to get a response to this because I'm totally lost with whats going on here. Well, I'm completely screwing up my relationship because of my extremely unstable, uncontrollable emotions. I started to notice a pattern in my behavior last year. I realized that about 3 out of 4 weeks of every month I'm basicly a huge pain in the ass. I hate myself. I'll suddenly lose all my confidence in my abilities, my perception of situations, my judgement, my worth even, just everything. So most of the time I'm reduced to a weepy, clingly, jealous, unrational, pathetic, depressed mess. Then, Bam! I'm cured. I'll wake up one morning and I'm on top of the world. I can't understand why I've let myself be crippled by stupid fear for the last few weeks. And then I feel embarrassed by how pathetic I am everyother day. It's like my moment of clearity and I can get a grip on what I'm doing wrong and what I should do to build my self esteem and what not. I have hope and I'm confident I can avoid another meltdown but then it always happens again. Yesterday was a wonderful day, the whole month prior I had felt worhtless, was panic stricken and causing hell of problems in my relationship. But then yesterday, I woke up and I felt good. I talked (because could without crying now) to my boyfriend about my recent state of mind, apologized for all the sh*t I put him through (for the 50th time!) and I thought I had it all figured out. He reasured me those negitive feelings I have are unreasonable and theres nothing actually wrong with me, which I completely agreed with. And my new resolution lasted all the way intil morning this morning but suddenly I'm slipping back down again. WTF!? It's like I'm watching it and have no control over myself. Can anyone relate or have any suggestions on whats going on? Does anyone else deal with this or am I just nuts? I just have to get a grip before I drive him away. Thanks for reading this.
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confidence, depressed, jealous, my ex, self esteem Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI greatly appreciate this advice & everyone taking the time to respond. It helped a lot. Thanks again!
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (12 August 2010):
Keep a journal! maybe that will help you. you can log everything from your nagitives to your positives and look back at it and also it's good for your mind it will help to give you a better focus~
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (12 August 2010):
Hello there. It must be hell going through this for a year now. And I bet that 4th week goes really fast. Well you are too young for menopause. That's usually late 40's to 50 approx. You are not even 30.
One possibility is a hormonal imbalance. Those symptoms you have, seem like a form of depression or else PMT for a longer than normal time. PMT would normally be perhaps just a few days before a period is due, but really not much more than that.
I would suggest a visit to your family doctor as soon as possible, telling him exactly how you've been feeling and how often and for how long. There certainly seems to be a problem somewhere. But I feel sure it's one that can be very quickly resolved. You'll wonder why you waited so long.
Before you go off to see your doctor, begin documenting some of the things that have been happening and how regularly throughout each day. You only need to do it for a few days, as the symptoms are probably nearly always the same. The more you can record on paper, the more it will help your doctor to properly diagnose and test and then treat and help fix the problem once and for all.
Don't try to self-medicate, leave this one for the professionals. It does require thorough testing to be absolutely certain.
As you don't say whether there have been any traumas in your life otherwise, it's more likely to be some kind of imbalance in your body for sure. What I am meaning, is it's not because of an emotional issue - e.g. loss of a job; death in the family or a close friend; problems in a bad relationship. That doesn't seem to be the case, as you said your boyfriend is a very nice, caring, understanding and considerate young man. That also helps tremendously to have someone who is a grounded and doesn't get all stressed out over it.
You don't need to worry, even though it's hard not to. Once you see your doctor, the days of high emotions, mood swings and self doubt etc. will all be history.
Please don't hesitate with this. It will probably be just a couple of visits and it will all be over. It will seem like a great weight has been lifted from your shoulders.
Take care and Best Wishes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): You should really discuss this with your doctor, who may refer you to someone else, I dont want to scare you, but you sound exactly like my cousin who has bipolar disorder. It can start at any age in life, and it doesnt always have to be dramatic, but what really hit home to me is you saying you feel like you're watching yourself helplessly act a certain way! Thats exactly what she is like. Obviously im not a medical professional and I dont know, but if it is, its not a death sentence or anything, there are really great meds that can completely control the symptoms! :) BUt do please go and chat to your doctor about this! It sounds like its controllable, with some sort of intervention! :) Good luck, and keep us posted!
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (12 August 2010):
 we're here to care! I've been to 'crazyland' so I empathized with your plight. Keep us posted, and take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): I know how you feel, because I sometimes suffer from very similar erratic moods, except mine change on a daily basis. It's very difficult to make it through those extreme lows, especially since they happen so much more frequently than the 'normal' spells. It is best to surround yourself with people who love you and are willing to understand your problem and that you have no control over it. Always let the people around you know how sorry you are afterwards, and assure them you love them and appreciate their support.
In my experience, a great way to alleviate some of the pent up emotional energy is to physically wear yourself out! Find a physical activity you like to do (sports, dancing, etc), and throw yourself into it for an hour or until you are dead tired. You'll be too tired to get upset at yourself or anyone else, plus the physical activity will make you feel good about your health.
Also, if you're like me, your diet could dramatically affect your mood. Staying hydrated and making sure you have a well-balanced diet will lift your mood tremendously.
Lastly, I can promise you that as you get older you will gain a little more control naturally. Good luck. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for responding. No, I'm not on birth control because of that reason. It put me into bitch mode & I bled for three months so I discontinued use very quickly & that was years ago. But my cycles are always regular & have their own set of symptoms seperate from my mood swinging. But I agree it would make sense that my monthly cycle are involved but does it still explain how totally random, immediate & out of nowhere deep depression sweeps over me? I should probably speak to a professional, you're right, because it's totally taking over my life. Thank you & when If I get a diagnosis I'll get back to you & let you know. P.s. You know, just having you a response really made me feel better. I was sure "no one one would care". silly me, thanks again
(Oh, just wanted to thanks you for the great job at picking out a title for this DEARCUPID. You sure summed it up. thanks:]
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): I totally relate to what you are describing. I don't have an answer, but I also suspect that there is a hormonal pattern going on here related to the menstrual cycle, and that maybe you suffer from depression (perhaps without fully realizing it). I have never done so, but maybe it is worth seeing a doctor or psychiatrist regarding this...and yet I am not a proponent of getting hooked on meds. Maybe try to take one day and situation at a time, take the time to think through the situations you are in, think about who you are/want to be, what you value, and what that implies for your actions and reactions in each situation. Just attempt to have more conscious control over who you are, who you are becoming, and so forth.
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female
reader, fishdish +, writes (12 August 2010):
I have a couple of ideas on what might be going on.
1) are you on birth control? I was on the ring, which is similar hormonal treatment, and my emotions were OFF THE WALL. i was angry, i was bursting into tears couldn't stop crying, i was sleeping to avoid whatever depression and agression i had sunk into. eventually switched products and was on anti depressants temporarily and was fine
2) bi-polar/manic depressive disorder involves people feeling both extreme depression and the opposite, like superenergy feeling great, interrupting your own sentences or people cant even follow your line of thoughts they're racing so fast.
either way, i'd see a doctor/psychologist for at least your own resassurance. the menstrual suggestion the other poster mentioned could be something to check on too. good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): I agree with moo's mum. Get to a doctor. Perhaps try the pill, or if you're on one change it! Im about to go to doc as the pill ive been on the last two months turns me into the bitch from hell for over a wk when i never had an issue before. Its horrid how our hormones can completely mess with us. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): Its definitely medical. Whether it be physical or psychological. But there is definitely a solution. So go see a doctor and do what they suggest
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (12 August 2010):
 I would just about bet my last dollar that this is a hormonal thing to do with your menstrual cycle. You should go talk to a doctor about this because it is almost certinally fixable.
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