A
male
age
51-59,
*anconfusedaboutwomen
writes:I have spent many hours just sitting and listening to women talk. Sometimes because I'm stuck in a situation where I'm the only guy in the room with a bunch of women, sometimes just trying to get an insight into the female mind. One thing I have heard over and over in the times I have been in the room, but largely forgotten about (the proverbial fly on the wall), is women SAY they would like to fins a man that is (or that their boyfriends were more)sensitive, caring, and to listen to them when they have something to say, or just simply to be a nice guy. My experience is when they find one, the quickly lose interest, or say he's a wuss and get bored with him. But, I have seen men treat their wives or girlfriends like they weren't worth the breath they were breathing, yet the woman stays with them, and says they're happy. Part of my reason for listening to the conversations of women are to find out what they like in a man, and try to apply it to life. Now, my question is, why do women say they like a nice guy, but let their actions show they like to be treated badly?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 August 2010):
 And may I add, that maybe there just aren't enough nice guys in the world? Sometimes people are nice in the beginning, and then we fall in love and we love them, and then we are more and more committed, until the point that it is too hard to break loose, even if the guy treats us like crap. But that goes both ways, some men stay in lousy relationships too because they think they can't get better.
And I must ask: can we really get better? With everyone having their issues, and with people never showing their true side until years into a relationship... How do you propose we work around that one?
And I will also add, sort of the same answer I gave in that other question if you click the link, that not all women are this or that way. You can't judge all women based on the conversations you have had. Many are not getting bored with nice guys. Women do like nice guys. If you think otherwise then you have gotten the wrong message. I believe the truth is something more like this: if we didn't like the guy, say he was boring, or a creep, or he couldn't find the clitoris to save his life, or he likes to lick our faces like a dog.... we excuse ourselves with saying he was a nice guy.. but nothing more. And that is because we don't share the real problem with just about anyone. The real problem could be a very embarrassing one. Next, the guys we start to date are who we believe to be nice guys! Then they happen to turn into ass holes...
So, women do like nice guys. The problem is that not all men stay nice guys, they start off with nice and turn bad.
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (12 August 2010):
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/treat-her-horrible-and-shell-want-you-more.html
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): It's their immaturity.
They don't like to take any of the responsibility for creating their own problems. It's much easier to blame men for everything.
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