| A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes: I am a fifteeen year old girl who has recently had a lot of guy trouble. Three of my friends like me and i have no idea how to handle the situation.i'll start by explaining the situation with each one of them individually.1, W (i have no interest in him)W and i have been friends for years but sometime last year he confessed to me and even after i clearly and firmly rejected him he's still on my back. He tries to push me away from everyone else and he constantly guilt-trips me to try to get me to give him a chance.2, S (i'm willing to give him a chance)S and i met about a month ago through mutual friends and recently he's made it very clear that he likes me. He's cute and funny but i struggle to see him as anything other than a friend.3, L (i have a bit of a crush)L and i have been in the same music club at school for a year but we never really talked. I noticed that i found him incredibly attractive but i figured he had a GF. Recently though we (and some other friends) hung out together and i am pretty sure he likes me because he touches me and talks to me a lot more than his other friends, he put a flower behind my ear and called me cute, he took pictures of me and saved them to his phone and he constantly asks specifically me to hang out.I am in a bit of a weird situation though because both W, S and L are close friends and i have no idea how to approach the situation i'm in.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 June 2021):
 #1 W - I's start to distance myself from him, he is being an entitled dick and you don't OWE him anything. He is NOt a friend. He has ulterior motives to be around you - basically thinking he can guilt or pressure you into dating him. THAT is shit behavior. And should NOT be tolerated. You already shot him down. Remind him of that and then distance yourself from him.
#2 S - JUST because he is interested doesn't mean you HAVE to "try" and date him. You aren't really seeing him as a "romantic option" so be CLEAR about that. Again, JUST because HE likes you doesn't mean you OWE him anything.
#3 L - IS he single? If not... stay away. If he is, spend some more time with him, being cute is all well and good but a person can be cute or pretty and SHITTY person. Taking a picture of you... doesn't mean anything DEEP. He could have taken that for a friend, right? You are 15, so IF I were you, I'd slow my roll with the whole dating. Don't be in a rush to have a BF, take your time getting to know a guy - also if all 3 guys are friends AND all 3 are interested in you... it can end in some really unpleasant drama you do not need or want.
I think I would actually do a "hard pass" on #1 - pass on #2 and #3. There seems to be this element of competition here that I would not want to be put in the middle of "as the prize". Maybe that is just me.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (19 June 2021):
 Are you actually looking to date? You are only 15 and have the rest of your life to date guys. I can't help feeling that, if you were really ready to date, you would know WHO you wanted to date. Having "a bit of a crush" is a safe way of admiring from a distance but not necessarily getting involved. There is nothing wrong with saying "I am not looking to date at the moment, thank you".
The only other piece of advice I would offer is never string anyone along. Always be 100% honest if you are not interested in guys. If your first friend won't take no for an answer, then you need to say it louder and more clearly, and perhaps even distance yourself from him, until he understands and accepts that you have no romantic interest in him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2021): Focus on guy #3. Ask him if he really likes spending time with you? If he does, then make it possible.
Continue telling guy #1 that you are not interested in him, and if he keeps trying to push other people away; you will no longer speak to him, or have anything else at all to do with him. Explain to him he cannot force you to like him that way. If he continues, then ask your father to have a talk with him.
Be honest with guy #2, so he won't get his hopes up. It's not fair to lead people on; just because you're flattered by their attention.
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