| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: Hi dont really know where to start bit just some advice on coping with being single im 25 years old and so far never had a girlfriend or been in any kind of relationship with a women.it affects me as i really do want to be with someone but so far have failed to meet anyone. all of my friends have all been in relationships at one time or another and some have had many girlfriends over time. i cant understand why im the only one besides my brother who hasent had a girlfriend.often i nickpick things like i blame my looks, am always wondering and curious as to why i see more men who have girlfriends have always got dark hair. iv auburn hair and am always thinking thats a major putoff to most women i often get anxious when im in a public place and see people together holding hands i feel down, especially people young and enjoying thmselves going to watch a film etc. im not considered a shy person, iam quite sometimes but get on well with people.
View related questions:
never had a girlfriend, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2007): I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'm also 25 and have had only a few brief encounters with girls that never went as far as sex. Most of my friends are introverts who don't like to go out so I've had to try and meet girls completely on my own in public and have been rejected for the phone number at least 45 times, at one dark point I estimated a total. One thing I don't have in common with many of the people who haven't had a girlfriend is that I'm not completely afraid to approach girls. In fact, I'm usually the one who gets girls to come over and talk to me and my friends. My problem has always been reeling a woman in, or should I say, the right woman. When I was young there was a girl I had a crush on and one day she put the moves on me and it blew my mind. I was very shy as a teenager and was really grateful for her advances.
Since then I've found girls to be kind of intimidating when most of them assume I'm going to put all the moves on them. There is something really ackward about going in for that initial kiss that I haven't gotten over but I know if I could just get past it, everything would be fine. One bit of advice I want to give to you that I've found to be very true is that, no matter who you are, if you are around girls enough, you'll get a girlfriend. When a woman gets a chance to know you without the ackwardness of the approach, she will have the chance to see who you really are. Most girls I've approached could only see the side of me that was trying to be bold and confident and not stutter. None of those girls know about how I cared for my sick grandpa for years, play with my niece every Sunday, am in great physical shape, have very interesting stories, and can make all my friends laugh like crazy. They just see the uncomfortable me and so they throw their guard up and wait for the next wierdo to try it again. Long story short, almost everybody I ever asked who is in a relationship says they met their partner in a casual setting or as part of a group. It's very beneficial if you can have contact with the same woman on a regular basis because she's way more likely to get to know you this way than if you just see her once and have one shot at it. Live your life, persue your interests, but make sure you're exposed to women on a regular basis along the way and be a good listener.
A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (9 April 2006):
 I don't think it's your hair colour, you could just be putting out the wrong signals as you are constantly self conscious by the sounds of things.
Like you say you feel embarrassed seeing couples holding hands and kissing etc.
Why not start talking to women on the online sites and get to know a few people that way, there are no agendas or restrictions and you find out a lot about people by talking.
If you do decide to meet someone then do it in a crowded place and never give out too much personal info, there are unscrupulous people out there and believe me they want to con you possibly out of money etc, if money is ever mentioned, run a mile.
On the plus side though, there are more genuine than con artists so just dip your toe in the water and you will be amazed at how many women are out there who like auburn haired men. Just do a free search and you will see without signing up to anything. Try the Friends reunited site and possibly match.com or yahoo.co.uk
Don't stress out though you are still young and don't put time limits on things as it could just be you haven't met the right girl for you at the moment. There is someone out there for all of us. She could be just around the corner.
Stay positive and strong and never look on the negatives but the positives always.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2006): Hey... being 25 and single isnt a problem, sure you may feel rejected, neglected and tired of it all, im exactly the same, but i think its because im always looking and therefore not enjoying myself. Relax when your out and have a boogie and a giggle, im sure some girls have found you attractive but you probably havent found them to be, if your looking anxious when your out, your looking uncomfortable... try and let your hair down and not to think of it too much, everyone is attracted to different people in their own way no matter what colour, shape or form. Your young and single live a little get to see places and meet new people, that way your'll have plenty to tell the grandkids when your good and ready!!
...............................
|
