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female
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anonymous
writes: im 24 and ive never had sex. how lame is that? what will guys think when i tell them? i pretty much have no experience..i need advice. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2013): Well, Im almost 24 years old , Im a virgin , never had a boyfriend or been kissed. Yeah, sad!! But its not that I couldnt have all of these things to be honest it scares me. when I am talking to a guy and we are getting to know eachother I always sabotage the whole thing to let them know hey we can just be friends. Why? honeslty im scared, not comfortable with myself and the wholw relationship thing scares me. I have been to parties or their have been guys I know I could have sex with no strings attached but IDK, maybe I havent found that guy? Yea, right that just what im telling myself. But im trying to get to the point where im comfortable with myself to let a guy in. Like they say " If you dont love yourself , you cannot expect someone to love you". And as im getting older i fear in telling a guy im a virgin or no we will not be having sex like the first week. Its scares me that I will be labeled a freak. But honestly , their will always be someone who will accept it. Some guys think the whole virgin thing is hot some dont. Watcha gonna do?!
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reader, crazyrabbits  +, writes (31 January 2013):
Don't feel worried or stressed - you're part of a growing number of people who are saving themselves for marriage/the right one.I'm three weeks away from celebrating my 25th, and I'm only just now getting into the dating scene. I spent the last five years working like crazy, and now (over the last two years) working to build a small PR firm in my village. I got plenty of attention (hugs/a few dates/cheek kisses), but I never took the shot because I felt it would be untrue to myself. That, and I'm still trying to court a girl my own age who I have reason to believe is just like me in terms of non-sex life.There are millions of people (possibly tens of millions) around who wait until they're in their late 20's or early 30's to lose their virginity. Let me throw some stats at you: almost 1/3'rd of the American population hasn't lost their virginity by the age of 24, and almost 10% haven't lost it by 35% (a statistic which has gone up at least 5% over the last decade). In India, the average age to have sex for the first time is 23. In China, 21/22. There are plenty of famous people like Tim Tebow, Lolo Jones and others who are waiting until marriage to lose it.Don't focus on having a burden on your shoulders - hell, society tries to stigmatize us into thinking we have to lose our virginity by 25 or we're weird. I say you can do whatever you damn well please. Men can go their entire lives without sex, and they can go at pretty much any age. Do what I do - take things in stride, invite people out for coffee dates and see where their interests lie, have fun and don't settle for second-best.
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reader, zyxwxxx  +, writes (19 March 2012):
As a male, I respect women who maintain their virginity till marriage. Your future husband would respect you, and he would consider himself lucky that you are were a virgin when you married him.
Best wishes! You are adorable!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): There is nothing wrong being a human... it doesnt matter if you are 24 or 30 and trust me being a man I can tell you they wont think anything... if you want to have sex now just dont feel shy, go ahead and have it. if you fee shy now, your age will keep on increasing and you will never have sex life.... all the best...
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reader, Sweetgirl390  +, writes (5 April 2011):
I don't think it matters that you are a virgin, what does matter is that this bothers you and it is something you want to change.My advice would be not to concentrate on losing your virginity but on meeting guys. I am no expert myself but the general idea is that guys mostly approach girls rather than vice versa. Perhaps you don't seem particularly approachable to guys when your out and about at the moment - this is something you could change by learning some basic flirting techniques, more open body language, eye contact. Another thing to remember is not to take it personally if someone that you fancy doesn't fancy you back because that happens to everyone, you just have to pick yourself up and keep trying. Also I think you need to try and let go of any hang ups that you have about being 24 and having not had sex and what guys will say as you have written in your post...I think this may make you more anxious about meeting someone and prolong the process. I think the only reaction you will get is maybe a little surprise from the guy you lose your virginity to if you tell him but nothing more really.
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reader, chromium +, writes (24 November 2010):
i'm a 24 y/o virgin (female). wow, that felt a little lame typing! (75% lame, 25% relieved/okay/etc). i have approached two guys in my life (when i was 18, and 23 -- they were the same age as me at the time)...and was rejected twice. TWICE! i stated/"hinted explicitly" that i just wanted a "one night stand." was friends with the first one. second one was a sales manager. he was very suave and a physical flirt (one of those skincare type of product demonstration stuff). was stroking my hand, back, had his leg between my knees after he asked me to sit on some swivel chair thing, and very lightly/smoothly/discreetly pinched my ass as i was leaving. wow those were the hottest moves ever. texted sales manager a few days later. he called back saying he was not being serious. i said (in all seriousness) that i was not looking for anything serious. then he said he had done many many things and that it was not something he recommends. he said something like, "it might mean nothing to you now, but later when you look back..." and "you seem like a nice girl, so i won't lead you down that route."back to my own hands, per night. still thinking about what the second one said though. appreciative he didn't take advantage of me, but a little bit puzzled also.
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reader, kathaiti +, writes (1 August 2010):
I am a 23 year old female virgin, and yes, I feel pressured to lose my virginity, especially when I am with guys. But with the help of the good Lord, I am trying to keep my "innocence" until I am married.
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reader, LeilaR +, writes (31 March 2010):
So yes, I too am an almost 25 year old virgin and I gotta tell ya, I am sick of it!!! I've never been kissed,never had a boyfriend or anything. I am an attractive gal, smart and have a great job and family and friends but I am (just like someone else said on here) just scared shitless to get close to and be with a man!!! I find it hard to trust them, I am deathly afraid of being hurt! I don't know what to do, I have about had it, I am very close to just getting drunk and going home with the first guy that offers. I'm tired of sleeping in my bed alone at night every night I don't want to be a virgin anymore but I am afraid to date and to get hurt so what the hell am I supposed to do????
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reader, HaleyMary +, writes (23 January 2010):
Hey, just wanted to jump in and put in my two cents here and say I'm 24 and still a virgin, too. I think our society today has oversexualized our culture. People put sex on a pedestal and there are so many other important things in life. I've had plenty of guys hit on me, most I haven't felt any connection with. And, there have been some guys I did like who didn't feel the same way about me. So, that pretty much ended before anything could begin. Part of it is that a lot of the guys who approach me try to go way too fast. For example, one guy wanted to discuss the "relationship" and I was sitting there thinking, wait I don't even know how I'm feeling yet. There was one guy who I did like, but had no respect for women. I found out he was pretty much a player and would try to play on women's insecurities to get with them. yeah, that experience made me realize that I had to re-think what I am looking for in a guy if I want someone decent and respectful. The guy who had no respect for women ended up embarrassing an ex online and pretty much lost all respect from others. I won't get into that here, but bottom line is, society may make us feel like sex should be number one. But, I think respect should be number one. And, today I can proudly say that I'm a virgin by choice. So keep the faith, stay true to yourself and respect yourself. The right guy will come along some day. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2009): I'm a 25 year old virgin and there is NOTHING wrong with that! It's just US culture makes it seem that way. They do not address that sex leads to pregnancy and STDs. I don't have sex, thus i never have to worry about either of those ever! That is a GREAT feeling. 1 in 4 have an STD today! so every 4 people you pass one of them have an STD. thats insane. Even birth control cannot guarantee that you won't get an STD or pregnant. The girl doesn't take the pill, the condom comes off, and that is it. There's no going back after that.I think many people fail to realize without birth control this world would be VERY different. Many people would be thinking "I don't want a child so i don't have sex" which is the way it SHOULD BE. There are other cultures out there that do not have any birth control. Thus if they do not want a kid, they don't have sex. It's that simple. I wish Americans were this simple. Imagine how much nicer it would be to spend time with your GF/BF and not have any pressures of sex, no fights over it, etc. You wouldn't have to worry about pleasing them or them cheating on you and picking up an STD to give to you, etc.Anyways, I do not want to have sex because i do not want children nor do I want to put myself at risk of STDs. Even if I married i would not want to have sex. I love spending time with a guy, kissing, etc but sex with a condom is not natural. It's disgusting. That is just using another's body to masturbate. It's being a prostitute but just to ONE person. It's not showing your love, it's just getting each other off by exploiting the true meaning of sex - reproduction. So yeah, you can be depressed you are a virgin HOWEVER think of the other side! You can have a man that wants you to have sex with him EVERY MINUTE you have. Or be like one of the many whores out there and have sex with anything that walks.I know other men that think this way as well so do not fear there are decent men out there! It just SEEMS like the whole world is sex-crazed because people are ridiculed if they are not having sex. No one is going to say "i don't have sex" or "i'm a virgin" because that is looked down upon in our society unfortunately. I'm just glad to see that there are so many virgins out there. It makes me still have some faith in humanity.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): im a 24 year old girl and ive never had full sex ive done foreplay and oral but just never met the right guy yet im hoping to meet someone very soon
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2008): There is NOTHING lame in being a twenty-four year old virgin. It seems to be you are not the only one. I am going to be a 26 year old virgin soon, and have not regretted my choice. Guys are simple creatures, and really like honesty in girls, it means they don't have to play a guessing game of "what is she really thinking?"
I mean, look at the sport shows guys love so much, they are very simple to understand. And if there are any questions, there's usually a referree on the sidelines they can ask for clarifications. We don't have ref's in our personal lives...sadly...so we need to speak honestly to eachother.
So just be as honest as you feel in each moment. If you want a guy to know you're a virgin, tell him. If not, don't.
A guy I'm fond of is also a virgin, like me....imagine how long this could take...: ).
Good Luck, and do what comes naturally.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): 26 year old Virgin. Hi all. I too am really pleased I stumbled on this thread. I thought that it was really rare to be in mid 20's and still a virgin. I have not had a boy friend or been intimate with anyone. I have always not really been interested or chased those away that I like. (or their gay, taken or I am not their type. Its god to know I am not alone and that there are others feeling the same
luv
jems
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): If you read these board/forums it's obvious that there are a lot of folks who choose to wait for relations, or who just never really had the time. It's only a big when you make it into one. If you go look up Hugh Hefner's bio it shows you that he was 22 or so when he lost his virginity, but yet he is the one who started and owns playboy, which has to do with 100% sex(unless you're one of those who claim to read it for the articles). I even read somewhere that one or a few of those girls gone wild video girls is/was a virgin, but still did the masturbation scene because she didn't care and liked the attention or some other reason. In other words some people enjoy flaunting they sexuality making folks think they are slutty, while others just are.
The reason it's being made a big deal lately is because all of a sudden these so called stars are trying to claim when they first did it to make themselves feel good since their careers are stuck in limbo or they feel the need to divulge pointless info like that. I've heard of people starting too young and then having like 20 or 30 partners, and then there are people starting in their 20's sometimes by choice that end up sleeping with like 50 or 60 women or men, so really what difference does it make(if you're in your 20's you are still young with your life ahead of you..). I chose to wait for relations until whenever because i was always different and didn't feel it necessary to do ish to fit in with a group of people I knew I would not be friends with after high school ended. Never was a big deal to me, and although I had women throw themselves at me and trying to get my attention all the time I enjoyed being a tease...lol... Plus it's not cool to be a slut or male slut, and if you look at the lives of some of the screw around folks their lives are usually messed up or they focus on sex so much that it looks like they are suffering. And as I probably said elsewhere folks do lie about their sex lives, so try not to think too much about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008): My virginity is a subject that has been both a source of intense anger and misery. Being a person possessed of a naturally extremely high sex drive, and equally strong desire of romance, I have wanted sex since 18, now I am 20. My virginity is the realization that nobody I've ever met wanted to love me, though I have been on dates, and have foolishly fallen in love with a weak girl who had and empty heart. Though I am miserable being a virgin, I think my misery would only completely consume me if would hire a call girl, I would lose all sense of self worth. Though I am sure many of you virgins are bitter and depressed, I have found the thankless misery of honor to be far more worthwhile than being used by those who are shallow.
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reader, daletom +, writes (11 January 2008):
Take a look at the thread "22 year old virgin. What can I do?" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/22-year-old-virgin-what-can-i-do.html for more thoughts about this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): I don't think it's lame, I am waiting for that 'special person'.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): 24, nearly 25 y/o virgin here.I feel slightly out of norm, but my virginity is only part of it, hahaI consider myself attractive as the next girl, even though I'm overweight I'm plenty curvy enough to draw looks. I've never been in a relationship... I find it extremely hard to find a guy I'm really attracted to... I'm not talking about mostly looks either.The only guys who ever seem to hit on me are either crazy or pretty unintelligent... Why, I don't know... sometimes I theorize that I just put out a "It's not gonna happen with me" signal.I want love, and someday hopefully will find someone who wants what I do, but I’m willing to live in the world of my making until he may come along and help me create my own better world...Whatever your reasons... Stay true to yourself, don't rely on fear just listen to your heart and use a wee bit of common sense my dears..CyaCp- the near 25 y/o crazy girl virgin
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): Hey don't sweat it. Not too long ago it was considered a good thing if you didn't give it up too soon. Don't be swayed by the media,so-called pop-stars behaviour, Or ridiculous adolescent movies like Superbad or American Pie.
Be proud of your choice and dont make your sex life any ones business.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2007): I am turning 24 in 6 weeks and am still a virgin. I have some sexual experience, but I've never had sex. I am confident, get asked out often and have been pressured into having sex A LOT. I don't have sex because I want a guy to come along that will (first) wait more than a couple of months, and (second) will actually understand why I am the way I am and respect it. I've never met a guy that made me WANT to be intimate with him or was the kind of person I could see myself with. Believe me, it is NOT lame to be a virgin. Everyone does it at their own pace and I know womenthat regret the decision that they made. Please, love the person that you are and know that when you do that, someone will come along that will love you and intimacy can come from that. I respect all of you for the decisions you've made!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007): just relax, ignore those idiots, you determine how you deal with your body, go girl keep doing what u doing
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2007): Yeah, I'll be there in 19 days. Sucks, don't it? As much as we like to comfort ourselves with claims of normalcy or superiority, we don't really believe it. Women worry they're not attractive or emotionally damaged somehow. Men lose their masculinity and self-worth. Honestly, I have less respect for male virgins my age because they're implied to be pathetic risk avoiders. That's the response we get from the outside. The inside response is loneliness. And you miss so many little things about intimacy you haven't had in so long...
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007): I am amazed at the number of older virgins, not such a rare thing after all. thumbs up!!! I am a 23 year old virgin. From a young age my mother told me she had waited until she was 21 and married before having sex, which i suppose is what inspired me to not rush sex cos mum had waited. Fast forward to being an adult as i can now add up, and come to the realization that my mum was 19 and that i was actually born out of wedlock. lol Ah well, do what i say rather than do what i do, is her parenting style =) But it stood me in good grounds, i am a virgin and proud just waiting for love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): Im 25 and in the same boat as many of you. I ,like so many of you, googled this for support (actually for statistics). As Heather Nova says, Im "six years behind" because I had a really rough adolescence (no sexual abuse) and college I commuted, so I never met too many people. Then midway through college I got on anti-depressants, and Ive really come out of my shell and into the person I was meant to be. Ive had opportunities, but as Aerosmith says 'all I want is someone I cant resist". It hasnt happened yet. I feel I really am a sexual person, I just havent met the RIGHT person that I wanted. Im not a prude or really religious. My friends are great about it (I have 2 BEST friends- one guy, one girl) but they understand that I just havent met anyone whom I dated long enough to WANT to have sex with. Maybe Im a little frigid in that area- I still have residual body issues. But my life is coming along, so I guess I feel "when it happens, it happens". Im just getting scared it will NEVER happen and Ill end up like my matronly, lonely Aunt. Anyways sorry for going on, I just feel so much better since reading about all of you. Thank you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): im 20 and a virgin, i know im female and its easier but don't listen to what people think dont just lose it for the sake of it, find that one special person.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007): I am a 28 year old female virgin. I have never been in any kind of relationship. I always run away when a guy looks my way because I am scared of intimacy. I had a father who skipped out and was abused by two male baby-sitters when I was 8 years old. I gained a lot of weight to keep guys away. I let myself try to go there when I was sixteen with a guy from my high school but he burned me as well. So, as you can see I have real trouble trusting men. I am finally dealing with all of this and realize I might be a virgin until I am 35, but if that is the case...so be it. Losing your virginity is different for everyone and I can honestly say that when I do lose it. It will be on my own terms and not because it is what I think I "should" do. Remember, not everyone is meant to follow the same path in life. When you decide to wait for whatever reason you show you are respecting yourself and that is appealing to other people. i think a lot more people are okay with it than they would admit. I have found that to be true. So, don't worry just be true to yourself and if anyone thinks it to be weird then they don't deserve you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): I'm a 24 year old virgin from the UK and feel that there is an enourmous amount of pressure for people to lose their virginity by the time they are 20, the media never highlights older virgins and often when they are rarely mentioned,are dismissed as "abnormal" which given the high rise in pregnancies in young people usually teenagers and the risk of aids, is shocking, it seems that shows aimed at teens such as The OC glamourise having sex around the age of 14. Though i'm not a prude I feel that its absurd that people who are careful and decide that they don't just want to sleep with someone for the hell of it or just to look in with the crowd, are not given more praise, Sex is natural but people seem to sleep around just to say they have done it, which is so sad. I'm nearly 25 and know i'm pretty unique, I simply haven't found the right guy yet, a decent fella will be flattered and impressed if you choose them and tell them you haven't slept around, its a raity, an idiot will have a problem with it, in which case they aren't worth bothering with, be proud of who you are, you aren't a sheep!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): Hi,I am a 25 year old male and am still a virgin, and do I feel neglected or guilty because of it, NO WAY. When I was five i was sexually assualted by a psychologist on three occasions, and often intimacy is more accustom to being a nightmare rather than reality. Often when I wake in the morning the sense of exhileration and enthusiasim far outweighs the urge to shake the proposed virgin tag wheh you have been through what I have. At times the best feeling in the world is just to be alive, to be happy and to see the world through a different shade of glasses rather than the customary black ones I am used to waring.I have a cousin who is my age, has had multiple sexual partners and at times his desire for sexual contact sees a tad impulsive, and even ritualistic. I am a clinical psychology student and think that maybe this is the result of some childhood memory of intrapersoanl conflict. My situation works in the other direction. Although I am sometimes afraid of what I may become of me if I do not engage in the "norm" of sexual behavior by a certain age. Please all of you NEVER feel any pressure from social circles to conform to ideals.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): I'm another 24 year old virgin, born in canada but I have immigrant parents from a culture which considers virgins the norm. I think my parents' culture is one reason I'm still a virgin, but growing up in Canada, I often feel like its a shameful secret and most recently my university friends who have had between 8-22 sexual partners have looked at me as a rare alien specimen.
Theres nothing wrong with me, I have a very active social life,I've had a few boyfriends,I"m asked out regularly etc, but I guess I'm still looking for that special someone, someone with whom I wont regret my decision at a later time. I guess I thought I would have met him by now:P
I googled "24 year old virgin", because lately I've been wanting to give into urges and desires and guess I was looking for some anonymous support to stick to my guns. Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): 25 year old virgin here. (Female.) I've never had a b/f either yet, mainly b/c I'm not "out there" enough to find one. At times I do feel lame too, but quite frankly I'm comforted knowing that I'm waiting for something worthwhile and meaningful, rather than the first thing that walks through the door. Some of my friends have been with like 3 or 4 partners by now, and I know that's how I don't want to be. I'd rather be with too few, or none, than too many.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2007): I am glad I stumbled upon his thread. I am also a 24 year old virgin and although it's something I should probably be proud of, I feel extremely lame. I have never even been in a relationship with guy. I have always thought there must be something wrong with me since no guys seem to express any interest in me and the few who have were definitely not even worth it. I'm not outgoing at all and sometimes I think being an introvert is part of the reason I'm alone. Then again I tell myself that the right guy will come along soon enough. It's hard to deal with especially feeling like an outcast but hopefully in the end it will be well worth the wait.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007): Add me as another 24 yr old virgin. Unfortunately, I don't have the self confidence some of you have - I DO feel completely lame.
I've had the chance to have sex I suppose, but my fear of men has been holding me back (I was sexually assaulted in my teens). Although I've been in therapy since then and have been working on it and have gotten to be at peace with what happened, somehow it still stops me when it comes to sex. I do ok with making out, but the moment it goes further, I just freeze. My body just won't let me go on.
It's frustrating. I wish I knew how to get over it because I WANT to have sex and to be that intimate with someone, but my body just doesn't go along with my mind. Most of my relationships have ended because of this...I mean, I can understand how guys get frustrated when they are waiting around for me.
I'd like to meet a sweet guy who'd be willing to wait longer than a month so that I could be comfortable enough with him to not be afraid. I wish men would walk around with signs that say things like "Nice Guy!" "Narcissist!" "Gentleman!" or "Cheater!" It would make everything so much easier. :-)
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2007): Hi am 23 and a virgin as well. Never been on a date, i have turn down several guys for my own insecurities. Sometimes i feel so lame that I don't have a boyfriend when is my fault for rejecting them. I get so annoyed when my friends ask me why I don't have a bf and that I am missing out on the sex part. I keep telling them that I am waiting for the right guy, this is such an oxymoron! LOL
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): don't worry about it a guy won't know if you don't tell him will he? so what your inexprienced he should like you for you. When you do meet a guy if he questions you just say you have been waiting for the one or that you haven't had a "proper relationship". maybe read some books about sex or something to get an idea. Goodluck
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007): Having stumbled upon this thread, I can't help but be amazed at how many 24 year old virgins there are out there!
Phil
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007): i am an 18 year old virgin. i recently started college and many of the girls in my dorm are not virgins. they don't have respect for themselves. i am a virgin and i never have a boyfriend. i do regret or feel ashame for not having sex. i will be a virgin until i get married to the one guy i love. my love is eternal and i will only share it with one man.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): hey...am in the same situation
Well, my reason for it was that I sort of was a very...introverted, I guess...Didn't hang out much with boys or girls.
Then I changed the scene and became more outgoing at 23 and opportunities started to show. I must add here that my first kiss was at 23. And it was...bla...stupid...long story...
For a while, I had a must lose virginity phase. But it is not that easy, you see. After several really stupid situations and attempts I realized that the best way is to take it easy...it will happen when it happens.
And also, I was so self-conscious and nervous, thinking, dear Lord, they will see that I do not know how to do this, they will 'expose' me and such nonsense. Well, 'they' do not care really:). They are guys. And it very learnable, the whole thing. If you are in the mood. If not, forget about it. Even if it seems odd at first, give yourself time...Pacience is the key...
Anyway, I hope I was helpful...if you have more questions about my not so fun but ok experiences and the more fun ones, put them in comments section if there is one on this web page
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): Hi everyone. I too was a 24 year old virgin until last year, when I lost my virginity to my lovely boyfriend. I remember feeling all the same sorts of doubts and anxieties as so many of you are still experiencing. My female friends were unsympathetic, telling me to seek psychiatric help, and my male friends all came up with outlandish theories about why I'd still be a virgin in my mid twenties, despite the fact that I was open and honest about it. As I said to them, I didn't see the point of sleeping with someone if I wasn't really attracted to them, and since I tend not to be attracted to a particularly wide range of men, the right person just hadn't happened along yet. No big deal. When he finally did, everything went very smoothly, just as I'm sure it will for all of you. I'm glad I waited, because my first time wasn't traumatic or awkward, it was exciting, but I felt completely safe. Anyway, I'm a freelance journalist and my experience of being an older virgin, and of losing my virginity, has made me feel that it's about time something was published in the mainstream press about those who haven't been having sex three times a night, every night, since their mid teens. If any of you would be prepared to tell me - obviously in complete confidence, I would never use real names - a bit more about your reasons for still being a virgin, the experiences you've had when you've told people about it, and the feelings, whether positive or negative, that you have about your position, I would be really, really grateful. You can email me at: [email address removed]Thanks so much to all of you for showing me that this project is worthwhile, and that there are other people like me out there!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): I am a 24 y/o virgin who has never been in a relationship. I goggled the subject on another lonely night and I came to this blog. Don't worry about it one bit. I am not the most attractive, but I also stay as busy as possible. I am afraid of getting too emotionally attached to anyone at this time and I don't want to take advantage of anyone ether.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): I am also a 26 year old virgin and always had the mentality that it would just happen along with everything else. I was busy with school, career, etc.. Recently I am looking around and saying "Where did the time go" and I feel way behind everyone else. I do feel that it is going to be way more difficult now and what are people going to think??? Reading these responses have made me feel better! :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): All the sex on tv and in the media is making all these teens go out and want to have sex with everyone, and of course the peer pressure, music videos, and a lot of other things. Plus parents aren't paying attention to their kids these days. I find it disgusting for a teen to be having sex, since they are not mentally or emotionally ready to handle it, all they think is that ok I'll fit in with a certain crowd or such and such will like me more. When you have sex in your 20's which is still young, but the perfect age range IMO, it shows that you were mature enough to be yourself and wait until you were ready and you didn't do something like that to fit in.
I think having so much casual sex with God knows how many people simply because they looked good is nasty, and it's one of the reasons so many teens end up with STD's, pregnant, etc.
A woman being a virgin too is a real turn on, don't ever change your morals or way of life for anyone is what I always say.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2007): Hi, I am also a 24 year old virgin, and I find it so funny that I googled this to see if there were anymore out there and here you all are.lol. I did have a long term bf in high school and we did alot of things, but never actually went all the way, because i did not want to get pregnant. When we broke up i went to college and got my Masters in Business and I just never seemed to have time for a boyfriend, I guess I didnt want the drama. Not to mention I never get hit on, and personally I dont feel I am unattrative I think it is just b/c I look like a NO. lol. My mom always says that guys can tell if they will have to put work into getting in your pants and if they do they will leave you alone. I am so glad to read all of your views and feelings because I pretty much have felt them all. I feel like I will never find anyone, and sometimes I do feel quite lame. I like to stay home and hang out, not a big partier and feel that why would I go to a club to meet someone if I dont regularly do that and they do, that is a problem already. I just hope that someone is out there for me, or else we might all have to start a 40 yearl old virgin club in 16 years. lol
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2007): If you just read the answers posted here and in other countless forums I've seen or read it's plain to see that there are a lot of virgins out there, and there is nothing wrong. It's a matter of having a certain level of respect for yourself. Some people these days seem to think it's cool to screw anything with at least two legs or a pulse, which is disgusting, but staying true to yourself and waiting for whatever reasons is beautiful thing. Also I believe that when a person is a teenager they are not emotionally or mentally ready for it, that's why I've seen a lot of the ones who messed around at too early of an age end up having some serious issues, and they even say it's because they weren't ready, and only did it to fit in with a crowd that isn't worth fitting into in the end.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): The vast majority of guys out there would love to be able to delete their partners' memories of past lovers. (Probably most women would like to do this, too.)Men only SAY that they don't want virgins. It's often true, but that opinion is usually a practical matter more than a principle. It's because men do want to get laid as quickly as possible, and they don't want the emotional baggage of taking someone's virginity just to get it. Being a better lover doesn't hurt, either. So most men have settled for a compromise of chasing women who've preferably just had a small number of partners. (And all the previous partners would ideally have had very small penises and no decent lovemaking skills.)Most men would probably trade all those benefits in a heartbeat if they could wave a magic wand and make all their girlfriends into virgins before they met with no side effects.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): I'm still a 24 year old virgin, but I had a girlfriend before. Only one in my lifetime though. I feel like such a loser! I have nightmares every night that I will become the 40 year old virgin.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): I'm a 24 year old virgin and I have never had a girlfriend, let alone been on a date. I used to get really bummed out about that. I would watch a movie like The 40 Year Old Virgin and say to myself, "that is your path." It is my fault I have this problem.I was always the play it safe, boring, nice guy. I am now making changes in my life. Last year, I went from 236 pounds to 155 pounds (I'm an even six feet tall). Now, I have a written plan in which I will travel to a new country every two years (I'm going to Hong Kong next June!). Most importantly, I bought a motorcycle (something I never thought I would do). I may be a virgin for the rest of my life; I may never have a girlfriend; I may never even go on a date. My life is now becoming an adventure and that has made all the difference in my self confidence and quality of life.
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reader, AndreC. +, writes (19 August 2007):
 Im 18 and not a virgin but my 26 year old cousin is and jes a guy so your not alone i know that i would rather have a gf thats a virgin then one that wasnt when i met her so your good im sure alot of guys would love that!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007): i'm going to be 21 (i'm female) soon [and no i do not intend to get drunk and etc and go "oh hey what's your name again?" come the next morning ;)].
i too was/am very glad to see there are people here similar to myself. i've never been in a relationship before. as the commenter (12 aug 2007) said of her abstinence, i personally do think my intelligence is my martyrdom with regards to this aspect.
ps: no regrets though XD
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): I am so glad to see that I am not the only one I am 20 years old and Ive never had a boyfriend Im still a virgin and when people find that out they are extremely suprised I thimk it's because they all have sex conversations around me and I don't say anything but when they ask questions I am forced to tell them I can't answer because I've never had the experience not to mention I'm a big flirt it's scary because people tell me I'm pretty but I never get hit on by the types of guys I would like to and I'm not a settler so I'm starting to seriously consider becoming a nun. No boyfriend by 25 I'm doing a nun it is.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): Hi. I'm also a 24 year-old virgin, whose problem is less 'What will guys think?' than 'What will I think of myself?' The trouble is I have an extremely healthy libido - and have had since I was really pretty young. I get a lot of attention from men that almost anyone else would consider promising, handsome, intelligent etc. but I barely even conceive of the possibility of anything happening with them. The reason I decided not to sleep with anyone was because I saw what a throwaway experience my friends had, and I didn't want to put myself in a powerless position afterwards. I have always been looking for someone whom I really really liked to be 'the first'. Only as this goes on, I sort of feel like my abstinence is becoming martyrdom. For example, this year I had my first proper boyfriend, and although he was great, he had slept with 6 girls. I felt in a sense that he didn't 'merit' being the one because of this. Of course, I am concerned that the older I get, the less likely I am to find someone who has also taken this secret vow which is both self-protection and a kind of arrogance (like I don't want to participate in tawdry and cheap human behaviour...) It feels like perhaps I am making too much of an issue of the body; just because someone keeps their body pure, it doesn't mean their mentally or morally uncorrupted! Lately I have even resigned myself to idiotic thoughts along the lines of - I will not find anyone who 'merits' me by similar self-sacrifice, so I ought to choose choose someone who is special for some other reason - ie, famous, talented, etc. When you over-consider something most people come to naturally for so long, it becomes impossible to do it!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): Hi, I am a 28 year old Male, no i am not a virgin, but the woman i am currently with is 27 and still a virgin. I can not speak for all men, but as for me, i have turned her down a few times. Yes i would like to have sex with her, but not yet.. I care about her, and i don't want her to do it just to make me happy. I want it to be her choice, because its something she feels ready for. To all you virgin ladies out there, remember that you can only loose your virginity once. And many women regret not waiting. If your man has a problem with you being a virgin, or keeps pushing for sex no matter how many times you say no then he is not the right man for you. I am sure you already know this, but i thought i would give you the point of view from a man who is dating a virgin. One last thing, it is great spending time with her without sex being an issue.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2007): I am going on 20 and I am so glad to read all these messages and see other people going through these problems. It helps so much.I know Im not quite as old as some of you but I have no experience and I have never had a girlfriend.I also feel like I will remain alone for the rest of my life the same as I have lived all my life.I have no one and I was thinking about ending things to stop the thought of it happening. Thanks to this thread I have a little faith that not all hope is lost and Im not alone.Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): I am a 24-year-old virgin as well. It’s not so much the virginity that I have a problem with. I am just incapable of attaining a relationship with anyone. People have told me I am shy and closed off. I don't know what to do. I stay at home every night and have very little friends. I see guys checking me out sometimes, but I always look away and walk faster. I've tried drugs, and therapy but nothing seems to help. The very few times i've gotten physical with a guy it was very brief and I ended up heartbroken. I was hoping that my social phobia would fade as I got older, but it seems to be just getting worse. I desperately want an intimate relationship, but it just seems to be a lost cause.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2007): I am also 24 and a virgin myself. I can identify with some of the challenges you are facing: the media and everything else around us gives us the message that 'having casual sex is the in thing to do". Personally, I believe everyone has their own choice about how they wish to engage in sexual experiences. For me, I believe that sex is something very intimate and to be shared with someone you love. For me, this would be my spouse. Yes, at times it does become lonely to keep this value going strong- we all have our needs and desires. This being said, I can't say what is the best time for anyone i.e. yorself. I can assure you that men find this quality a rarity. When I discuss this with my male friends, they laugh and say "Where have all the virgins gone?" and when I tell them I know many females who would prefer to have sex after marriage and share this intimate act with their spouse, these guys are pretty shocked (in a good way) i.e. they think it is admirable for a woman to do that, given today's societal and social pressures. I am confident you have nothing to worry about. The right person will come along and the true sign for you that they respect you and your values is if they consent to wait for you before marraige. In fact, please see the following link to a very interesting article that speaks to Persian women and how they have become more liberated (I am Persian yet have very old-fashioned values). Please see link: http://www.iranian.com/Jim/2006/November/Sex110/index.html
Best of luck to you in finding a compatable and understanding mate for yourself. I am sure you will find a man partner who will find your virginity before marraige a very appealing quality. After all, it speaks volumes about your self-respect, integrity, and character.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007): Hey... Im 24, I´ve been with 13 girls, my gf with 11 guys before me , let me tell you something.. There is absolutely nothing wrong or anormal about being a virgin.. Most of the guys out there ( including myself ) woul like their girlfriends to be virgins.. actually I would consider it a plus... Take care
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007): I wish I had read your responses last week. I had'nt had a response in a while so I had'nt checked this.
My update is I'm no longer a virgin. Happened last weekend. I was a little drunk but I own what I did. I made that choice, but it was the wrong one. (No it wasnt date rape or anything like that.)
I'm very proud of everyone that is still one. If I had'nt been so down on myself I would be too. I'd actually felt good about myself and did'nt mind never having had sex, and then I went and did it. Anyway..I could ramble on forever...but I won't.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2007): I am a 26 going on 27 year old virgin and when I was younger I thought I was the last endangered virgin, and never had a boyfriend, but I have learned to love my body, mind and status (virgin). I'ts nithering wrong with waiting,and any men or women that to pride yourselves in being one and don't let any one take that away from you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007): Hey,
I am a 23 year old virgin too. I actually needed someone that was a virgin themselves to talk this over. i think what you are feeling is pressure from others around that aren't virgins. I know that it seems like you are the only one and you are in a vulnerable position to be made fun at. But you shouldn't feel like a "lame," everything is for a reason. The first time I got a chance to lose it I was 16 yrs. old. and I chose not to. I recently found out the guy I was dating has 3 Kids now!!! THAT is lame. Don't let others or the media bring you down. I know it's hard. Maybe you should go on chat rooms or read blogs of people that are. That makes me feel normal, (...well there isn't anything abnormal about it), but it makes me feel like I am not the ONLY one and it helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): I am 24 and a virgin as well and I felt kinda lame as well. I knw its not lame but in the mist of a sex crazed world it feels that way. I am so glad that I also typed in 24 yr old virgin cause it seems like I'm the only one but I believe that God has someone for me I'm waiting patiently (at times) anyways everybody keep ya head up and keep treating yourself good.
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reader, Davies +, writes (13 June 2007):
Hi! I'm 24 and I am still a virgin and yes you are right it is not normal, it's not wrong, but it is not normal. I thourght I was so abnormal so no one would want me. That's why I tried to lose my virginity to a hooker - twice. and guess what it still didn't happen, I was flacid. But hey you can't blame me for trying. If you are that desperate to lose your virginity do what I did, go to a prostitute. P.S Let's just hope you do better than I did.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2007): Well, I am 34 years old (male). I am good looking, educated and have a great body. I am still a virgin. I have had many chances to have girls and have rejected what most if not all guys would do. I am straight and love women. But I always felt that I should wait for the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I do have much spiritual beliefs and I do personally think that it would be better for me to share my emotions and feelings and everything else with the person that I intend to be with. I am presently looking for a wife and I have many choices. I hope God willing (in accordance with my heart) I will make the right choice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007): I'm a 24 yr old virgin too. Don't worry!! I understand what you're going through!! No one wants me!!!! I don't guys would mind weather or not you're a virgin. (Not that I'd know, since I'm not a guy!) I just wanted to let u know there's more then you 2 that are 24 yr old virgins!! Hang in there, we'll get some soon enough!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2006): I am also a 24 year old male virgin. At least two of us are not sleeping with everything we see. I admit I have long given up on girls after all 22 I asked out said no but that does not mean you should too. It is difficult worrying about what the other guys may think but I have no friends so that doesn't matter to me. I have been told that girls respect a guy who is a virgin (there arn't many left by 24) because he didn't jump into bed with the first girl he saw. Whatever you do, do not get impatient and do it with the wrong girl-you will only regret it later. I have had to find other things to occupy my energy, seeing as a girl will not- that is their loss.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006): Dont worry your not alone. Im a 22year old virgin who has never had a boyfriend. I have nothing wrong with me, Im a professional ballet dancer and do some photographic modeling as well. Im very tinny, no weight problem for me (congrats on your weight achievement. its fantastic, you must be feeling so much healthier. my problem is i dont get out enough. i work such long days and i dont drink for helth reasons. I find that finding mr right is so hard. he is out there for all of us though, keep serching and you will find him. hope this reply makes you aware that your not the only one. best of luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2006): That’s a Turn On not lame. Being a virgin myself 23 I would want to feel when I lose my virginity it would be with another virgin so we can share the experience. The reason I say that is because not that I haven’t had the opportunity to have sex, I would just like to have sex with a virgin so I wouldn't feel dirty or guilty afterwards. Hopefully you sort of see my point of view and it makes you feel better.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006): Its funny I googled 24year old virgin, because I am also a 24 year old virgin, but worse...I have never had a boyfriend, thus have never had contact with a man. Lately, I have been very depressed because I want some sort of physical contact with a man, but not necessarily sex. I am not an ugly person, my face is attractive, and I am a very smart person with a degree in science. My problem was that I was overweight...men just don't like that. I have a good heart, too good I suppose. I decided to do something about it and I have lost 25lbs in 2 months, I have a LOT more to go...but I have gone so long without being with a man, I am basically scared shitless. I am sharing this story to you becuase there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with you and you know what, I respect myself a LOT more knowing that I have not lost my virginity to just anyone. I could just go to a bar and pick someone up, but I have more respect for myself. YOU should have more respect for yourslef and I admire you and it was a pleasure to read that someone else is in the same kind of boat I am. Don't give it up to just anyone, I know that you will respect yourself more for that choice. And ALWAYS remember, your NEVER alone, I am evidence of that : )
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reader, Terrie-Anne +, writes (31 October 2006):
You're not lame because you kept your virginity because not all girls are like you they'd rather have sex so they can bost about how fantastic it is. You're a sensible girl you should wait for mister right.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2006): I think thats great. I believe in the whole wait till your married deal and i find that guys respect me more for that. Who honestly wants to date a girl that puts it about. I say hold out for as long as possible and quit worrying about your lack of experience. Once you find someone you truly love they wont care about how far you have or havent been.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2006): I'm 25 and still a virgin! So I don't think it's lame at all! (there's another thread found at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/no-self-confidence-and-im-a-virgin-at.html that you should read amoungst others!).
David Lewis and b3x are right and I for one would quite like to meet a girl like you. I think that a woman of your age who has resisted peer presure and held on to her virginity must be very strong - and that's a turn on!
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reader, skywalker +, writes (30 October 2006):
Good going girl.I am 27,M, and still havent had sex.Not that i have had offers but the joy of doing it with "that" special someone ,and i imagine will be awsome.So wait and go slowly.Better to take it slow than gettin urself STD or somethin like that. I know i have found that purrfect someone but we are having so many ego fights,that it seems impossible but i am still waiting.
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reader, bluebull0003 +, writes (30 October 2006):
Hey girl it doesnt matter if you are a virgin at 24.As long you are not a frigid or got a mental block for selfdenial, its perfectly all right. What matter is that you now choose more prudently to gift some one the most beautifull gift a GIRL can give to some whom she love.
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reader, Harriet help +, writes (30 October 2006):
 i agree with b3x. You shouldn't feel as if you have to have sex before 24. Wait until u meet some1 u really like then the time will be rite x
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reader, b3x +, writes (30 October 2006):
 lamw = lame
Sorry typo! xx
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reader, b3x +, writes (30 October 2006):
That's not lamw at all honey!
I agree with Yos...Personally I think its much lamer to have had 20 sexual partners by age 24 that to have had none.
plus I think there would be a lot of people out there who wished they had it back and made thier first time a bit more special, I guess I know I would.
Save it, until you think the time is right, plus there are still alot of guys out there who are 24 and prob still virgins xx
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reader, David Lewis +, writes (30 October 2006):
 I think you should be proud of yourself. As Yos said, many people your age have had multiple partners by now, no it is a rarity. I wish more girls were like you to be honest.
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reader, Yos  +, writes (30 October 2006):
 It's not lame at all. Personally I think its much lamer to have had 20 sexual partners by age 24 that to have had none, and I'm not the only person to think that.
Some guys might be freaked out a bit, mainly because they'll have to question themselves over whether they are really 'worthy' of taking your virginity. Which is also a good thing: it may deter some of the men who would just have sex and then run. But most guys will be fine with it, even quite like it. It's a bit like being first up on the mountain in the morning and being able to ski down it with perfectly smooth snow. Yes men are strange ;)
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reader, Jovial  +, writes (30 October 2006):
 I dont believe being a virging is lame, I think its beautiful and most treasured experience at that age you can make a decision how u wanna loose it and to whom, men like virgins as they are not experienced so dont stress about that. I lost mine at a very young age and it was a horrible experience so I always wish if had waited until I was older and wiser then maybe I would have enjoyed that sex. But its gone and cant get it back. Where I come from virgin girls are most respected by men as well as women So just make sure the day you want to loose it is with someone special not to some looser u will wish u were never born.
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