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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my fiance for over 3 years now I recently caught him looking at porn.The thing that bothered me the most was that he was looking at girls in the same town.I love him to pieces but I am so confused.Should I be worried?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2010): I have been dealing with something similar, well the same except it is not local girls. We are engaged as well and moved in together 4 months ago. I have talked to many of my girl friends about this and they all say the same thing. It's not you, he's a man and that's what men do. I even looked at his history and told him I did it. Did he get mad at me? Maybe, but he didn't show it. He held me while I cried and told me I was beautiful.
I'm still not 100% ok with it, but it doesn't make me want to cry anymore. Why do I feel better? Because he is still the same man he has been. He still treats me with respect and does everything in his power to see that I am happy.
I don't know all your details, but if he is still making you happy in other ways and being as loving and caring as he was before you found this out then I don't think it's a problem. I might mention it to him if you feel uncomfortable or feel as though your self esteem has taken a nose dive. The local girls would upset me more than what my man was doing, but maybe it's because it's streaming video? Or it's the fact that it feels riskay? Ask him. If he loves you, he will be willing to discuss this with you. Don't nag though, this might be an embarrassing subject for him to talk to you about. It might be a slow process to have a full discussion. Feel free to contact me if you need to talk to someone who has recently felt the way you probably [email address blocked]
I wish you the best of luck.
I hope all goes well, and remember, no nagging.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): If it's just porn, why the local whores? Just sayin
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): I carnt believe that in this day and age some people are so insecure in there relationship as to think its wrong to look at porn. It does not matter if you married or not its shouldnt be a problem in a relationship. It says to me that the only people that are insecure here are the women. If they are so aggitatedabout this then they should take a look at there own inner problems first.I am married and have been happilly for nearly 10 years and both of us are happy even if i look for porn local or not.All women out there need to get a grip. He obviously comes home to you on a night and loves you lots but dont call into question about his habbits or you might lose him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): Just because he looks at porn doesn't mean he is cheating or that he will. He is human, it is nature to look. I think its better to look than touch. I am married, I look, my wife is ok with it. Try to be comfortable with yourself and your relationship, talk to him and see if he will respect your opinion. I am in my 2nd marriage, my first wife was very insecure and it caused alot of problems. She didn't want me looking at women (porn or not) but its human nature to look at attractive people. My current wife will share porn with me, she will point out attractive women for me to look at. She knows I picked her to spend my life with but that I am still a man. I'm not saying you are wrong or right, but try to see his side a little. Most men are very sexual and think about it all of the time, its how we are. Maybe add something exciting to your bedroom just to grab his interest.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007): yes u should because i have been with my fiance for 5.5 yrs and he was doing the same thing and now i am almost positive he is cheatin
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A
female
reader, Terrie-Anne +, writes (31 October 2006):
Have you talked to him, you should track down these girls and see if anythings gone on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2006): Should you be worried???No he is the one with the problem...you should be aware....Aware that he clearly wants something more than you, even if it is just on paper it is still looking outside of the relationship...
He is not your husband or father of your children from what you say so I would run now and hold our for a guy who only wants you and has respect for women...yes they are out there.
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A
female
reader, Harriet help +, writes (30 October 2006):
 i agree with jack. You should talk to him about it and most guys look at porn to turn them on but then again you should be the person who turns him on.
Talk to him and see what he says i hope everything works out.
Hattie xxx
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A
male
reader, jack23 +, writes (30 October 2006):
 It would be worth talking to him about. Aslong as you are ok with him watching porn the its ok, but if all hes watches is local girls then it may be worth rasing it with him and just asking why that is.
It may just be a turn on, but for your comfort I would suggest confirming things with him.
Hope all goes well :)
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