A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm having a relationship with an older man, there is a 23 year age gap but we are both very comfortable with each other and we're very happy together.My problem is that im worried that people may think bad of us, not many people know of our relationship and im scared he will recieve negative views when more people find out. I dont really care about what people think of me but i do care about my boyfriends reputation.Any advice would be much appreciated.
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female
reader, nurse nikki +, writes (7 October 2007):
i disagree with sassy 007 - age gaps are only a problem if you make them one! enjoy your life together, and don't let anyone bother you with any comments made to you about him. X
A
female
reader, sassy007  +, writes (3 October 2007):
The first thing I would like to know is how big is the age gap?? If you are under 21 , I would say that you should find someone around your own age. Sounds to me like he may be going through a mid -life if he is in his forties
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A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (1 October 2007):
 Age is only a prob;em if you make it one.As long as you too are happy then you should not worry about anyone else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007): Don't worry about your boyfriends reputation since the big age gap relationships are become more and more common, may be you think others will give the negative views, but may be someone will give the positive views, this is not important. The most important thing is make the big age gap relationship really work, I know there are many more than 20 years age gap relationships work well at Agematch.com, so go to this place to meet people who have the same faith and same problems, and get some good advices.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007): what is important is not what others think about you two. it's how you two feel for each other that's important.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (30 September 2007):
As somebody who is probably a very similar age to your boyfriend (I am 43 BTW) I would be very surprised if he had any problem with any people finding out. If I was in his shoes my main concern would be you getting hurt by nasty comments.
If it clicks for both of you and you get on well then you have to go for it hook line and sinker and enjoy the relationship. Distance yourself from any negativities and any nastiness and I think you would be surprised just how many people would warmly accept this situation if you are seen to be happy with everything.
You come over as pretty mature and pleasant and this fellow of yours I imagine must consider himself one lucky guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2007): Problems can appear. But can you try and minimise them. Imagine if your parents will exclude you from family get-togethers, relatives' weddings for example, so that there's no opportunity of gossip? You have to be ready for everything, without being paranoid, always. Show him care, and make him feel comfortable with nasty comments, act as if it's normal to hear them once in a while and as if you couldn't care less. He doesn't have to feel guilty, or feel it's hard for any of you to "slalom" through obstacles. Can be solved by care and understanding inside the couple. Of course, you can't make total abstraction of all the rest, because A doesn't exclude the rest of the alphabet and there may be invisible connections elsewhere, you just have to be ready to act and have faith you'll know how to. When a stranger thinks badly, it may not be important, but the family issues have to be managed and maybe have a talk with your folks to make sure they support you through this. 23 is pretty much, I'd say risky indeed, but if you're both sure about and [acknowledge] what it implies, don't worry about others. Wish you all the best.
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A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT +, writes (29 September 2007):
 Hi babes,
If you love one another then stop worrying what other people think, who cares what anyone thinks!!!!!!
True friends and family will see your both very much in love with one another and will be happy for you, okay they will probably prefer you to be with someone nearer your own age but they will eventually see your in love and happy...........
So long as you and your partner don't have any issues then I say congratulations that you love one another so much, carry on loving one another your lucky to have found that at least no matter the age difference darling.........
And remember DON'T worry about others enjoy life to the MAX
Love Donna xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2007): Dear,
I am 33 year old and my boyfriend 56 year old and we do love each another and we have for 5 year relationship and we dedicated to get marry soon so if you love each another don’t worry what the people says. I prefer old men better then young men.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (29 September 2007):
 Age gaps invariable only ever become a problem if one of the people in question have got issues with it. You have said that you are both very comfortable with each other, and are both very happy together. If thats the case then there is no reason atal why this relationship can not work. You should just both get on with it and not worry if you recieve bad comments from others, all that matters is that you both love each other and are doing your best to make it work. At the end of the day age is only a number, the feelings you both feel for one another is all that matters.
Hope i helped, and good luck x
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A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (29 September 2007):
Let your bf worry about his reputation. He's in this too, and should understand the attitude of busy bodies. I find it is not useful to tell anyone who doesn't need to know.
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