A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My 23-year-old son is in university, and lives with us at home (purely for financial reasons - he is otherwise independent).He said to me the other night "Mum, I've got something to confess..."I was expecting it to be something academic-related, but he admitted to me he'd been sleeping with male prostitutes and got a "kick" out of it.This is despite the fact he's got a fiancee, who he's been with for 4 years.He said to me "Please don't tell her"., and said "I was just satisfying my idle curiosity. It's frowned upon, OK, but it's legal, all the same."He then told me that he wasn't gay or that, he just thought it would be a bit of fun that he needed to experience.I'm in two minds here - do I tell his fiancee or not?I told my husband, but he just insisted "Boys will be boys, even if they get off with male prozzies! [slang for prostitutes in North-West England]"Where do I go from here?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): you have a right to be alarmed by this, and no , boys will not be boys. your son is either gay or bi, he just hasn't discovered his "labelling" yet. - he nees to have sexual check up. think hiv/aids and stds. - his fiance has to have a check up as well. (there is no easy way she needs to be made aware that her health may have been compromised)- he needs to confess to his fiance. now rather than later. he won't want to but he needs to. you know you need to ensure this gets done, no matter how difficult it is. rather end it now than mess this young girls llife. just read the stories here about women going through hell finding out that their hbs and the father of their kids are actually gay. this trauma can and should be avoided. i think your son should do the honest , decent thing and come clean. both you and his dad can support him in this. - he needs to be honest with himself. he is not just cheating. he is cheating on his fiance with other men. alarm bells here. - him telling you his secret is just the tip of the iceburg. more more is he trying to tell you? you need to probe and get to the bottom of it.- maybe your son feels he is way over his head with his sexual preference therefore he confided in you. - unconditional love for your son. this i think is what you have for him. what about his fiance. please do the right thing by her as well.- keep the commuination open. - DO NOT allow him to marry this girl. if you do, you are party to his wrongdoing. please do not allow him to mess up her life.- you have received excellent advice by all here. you hold the key to how this pans out.
A
male
reader, Jason32477  +, writes (16 July 2009):
 Ask oldersister hit it on the head.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): I agree with so many people who have responded before me. Your son is gay or at the least Bi sexual. If he was straight he could not and would not have sex with a male prostitute. Let's say for agreement sake that he could, then surely just the once would have been enough to quash his interest?He needs to be honest with himself and let his girl go. The task isn't yours. You need to show him these answers and let him know you love him for him and not who he sleeps with. But you are not willing to let him go into a marriage that sounds doomed from the beginning
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (13 July 2009):
 WOW im gonna say he told you as a cry out for help other wise he wouldnt have told you i kno plenty of men who have secrets liek this and they havnt told a soul i only kno cause well when your out drinking people slip up plus they tell there boys things they wont tell there mom your son is gay thats one he wouldnt be sleeping with men if he wasnt you need to accept that and be open to it, its possible he was molested as a child your husbands reaction seems a little strange i would kill my son if he i found out he was sleeping with male prozzies the only thing stopping me form killing him would be the heart attack i had at hearing the news i could tolerate female prostitutes but its not even legal in the states but the fact that hes engaged would be a problem for me hes exposing that young woman to all kinds of things with his risky behavior shes deserves to kno Sit down and talk to your son tel him your going to tell her if he doesnt have the courage but dont tell her behind his back plus you need to tlak to your son about stds and his risky behavior if your feeling you cant do it think about how you will feel when he and his fiance come down with aids and die if he wants to be with men thats fine but he shouldnt be dragging her along and endangering her life plus just the fact that he told his mother witch cant be easy to do means the boy wants help
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): you can not tell her!!! that is something that your son, your blood confessed to you because he trusted in you, and also you will brake that girls heart for no reason! do not get involved in a relationship that it is not yours.... but your son's.
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A
female
reader, ugh101 +, writes (13 July 2009):
 I would tell the fiancee. What if the curosity dsnt go away and he keeps sleeping around thn itd break the poor girls heart. Its her right to no because he is puting her at risk for STDs and herps.
But i understand that you wouldnt want your son to get mad at you. But if hes sleeping around after he propsed maybe hes not ready for this very big comintemt(srry idk how to spell tht).
God BlessXX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): There is a health concern for his fiance as well. Your son is engaging in risky sexual behavior. For one he could contract the HPV virus, and condoms do not protect against this virus, and for some reason young people both men and women are more at risk because of their age alone.
In mean HPV can lead to anal cancers (Farah Fawcett recently died from this) and in women cervical cancer.
There is a Gardasil vaccine, but not enough time has passed to know if it can completely gaurd against HPV.
Not to mention HIV and other STD's. What he is doing is very dangerous to her especially.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): My son said he did it to fill an idle curiosity he had about sex with a male prostitute, and that he wasn't gay, but how can I be sure?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): Straight men do not have sex with male prostitutes for sex. Your son is confused about his sexuality and should tell his fiance about this, she has a right to know. It is a lot easier to not get married than it is to get a divorce later on.
He isn't going to stop having sex with men, he likes it, he wanted to do it to experience it because he is attracted to men.
You might do the honorable thing and say to him, if you don't tell her, then I will.
I don't wish your delima on anyone and I hope all of it gets worked out.
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