A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. sorry this is quite long but i really need some help.I'm 21 years old and really struggling with my sexuality. I have a BIG dilemma. about 2 years ago i had a 6 month relationship with the most amazing guy ive ever met. i loved everything about him but we lived too far apart and eventually drifted apart. we broke up on great terms and have been great friends ever since. After we broke up i had my first female relationship. id always had crushes on girls but never really wanted to admit it to myself. anyway i fell in love with my best friend and we had a secret lesbian relationship for 7 months. it was the most intense but most fantastic experience ive ever had and the love i felt for her was so different to the one with my ex boyfriend. anyway, that relationship ended with my heart being shattered and it took me a long time to get over her. my ex boyfriend was a real rock to me through my heartache (i lied to him and told him it was a relationship with a guy who broke my heart). Me and my male ex have got closer since then and my love for him has returned and is stronger than ever. he loves me too and we have real passion and tenderness together. he lives closer to me now too so thats not an issue.......... so heres my problem. Despite my strong feelings for him (i even imagine us being married and having children) i CANT STOP thinking about women. i fantasise about women. i dream about them. i constantly check out women i fancy in the street. ive recently kissed one of my female friends from university and we have done sexual things together and it was amazing....i get butterflys in my tummy when im with girls or think about them.Do i get back together with my EX boyfriend and have the marriage, kids and life ive always wanted with a guy i can imagine being with forever....or do i persue things with girls and break his heart. I just feel that when im with a guy something is missing and there just isnt the same spark and chemistry as when im with a girl.please give me some advice because ive been struggling with this for a very long time now and its really getting me down. thankyou in advance.
View related questions:
best friend, broke up, crush, fell in love, get back together, lesbian, my ex, spark, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, brndout  +, writes (15 February 2010):
All I have to say is,"This above all, to thine own self be true."
A
male
reader, HarryFlashman +, writes (15 February 2010):
I don't think you are ready to get back with your EX. It sounds like you might be more attracted to girls than guys. Particularly since you have lied to your EX and he doesn't know that you have been in relationships with girls, if you were to leave him for one it might be a very tough shock. Don't setup someone you care about for those kinds of risks ... at least not without letting them know up-front.
My own feeling is that you should continue to clarify your feelings first. Maybe you should date some more women and see where that leaves you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2010): I think it is quite obvious you are more attracted to women. You obviously want to do what you think is right and be straight,but you are lying to yourself,what if you do marry this guy have children and find your attraction to him dies because of your dreams over women, it sounds to me like your afraid of missing out on a family and a perfect husband and wife picture. But dont be you can be just as happy as you are and to me I think your a lesbian.
...............................
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (14 February 2010):
 Hmmm, I wonder if it was the secret nature of your lesbian relationship that made it seem so exciting. Kind of sounds like you might be bisexual though. You know a lot of guys would go for relationship that includes another girl. You could feel him out with some questions about what he would be into sexually and there may be a chance he would be keen to include a girl into your sex life.
...............................
|
