A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So here's it is. I'm 21 years old and have never been kissed, in a relationship, or even asked out. As weird as that seems, that's not the problem. The problem is that, although I "fall in love" everytime I leave my house with some random guy or the next, I've only had two, for lack of a better term, crushes in my life. One when I was 17, the second this past year. Four years between these two infatuations. Is that normal? I don't think of myself as choosey, just give me a nice smile and something to laugh about and you got me, but... FYI, the one at 17 didn't work because I was too terrified to say anything and this new guy has a girlfriend. I just can't stand the idea of another four years of numbness. Any advice or words of wisdom?
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female
reader, scythe  +, writes (7 September 2009):
 You sound like a very pleasant, honest and down-to-earth person. In other words - someone very date-able :)
Take a chance once and a while, perhaps ask one of those random guys out for coffee just to get a feel for the whole dating experience. But be sure not to lead them on, we don't want anyone getting hurt :)
Put yourself out there a little bit more, but be confident, not needy. Strike up conversations with guys.
You SHOULD be relatively choosy (don't just settle for some lazy abusive jerk!) but don't disregard the boys whom you are familiar with either.
Good luck, and don't loose sleep over it. I know it's hard waiting, but keep your chin up :)
xx
A
female
reader, LethalInjection-x  +, writes (7 September 2009):
 Firstly, it's good that you don't see a problem with the fact you've never kissed etc. Most people fret about things like that and get worked up for no reason. So well done you.
Hmm, there isn't really a normal or abnormal when it comes to things like this. I don't personally see much of a problem in it, you could look at it in the way that you're saving yourself the "heartache" that most young people complain about after ever crush they have.
You described the four year gap as "numbness", how so? Numb in the sense that you felt like you completely lacked the ability to like another person? Or because you were alone? (Or felt it due to lacking a "crush"?)
I wouldn't worry too much about it, as thinking too much always leads to something going wrong. Though, you said you were "terrified" of saying anything last time.. terrified like an average teen of letting on to the person they like? Or do you think it was something more than that? I say this because I've known that to cause periods of what you described as numbness.
Sorry this wasn't much help! x
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