A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 21 year old guy but I'm just confused and lost at this stage of my life. For a couple of years now I've always found myself having a preference with checking out guys, I also check out girls but its at a different level. Like most of my male friends when they check out a girl they immediately add "dude I want to get her in bed" and that doesnt usually cross my mentality and for years now I've found myself checking out gay porn sites. I've never experimented with a guy however, I wouldn't be opposed to it but I feel people would look at me differently if I did.Now I know you're probably saying "yeah youre gay and your in denial or guilt" but I just don't know. When guys flirt with me, I flirt back but never take it to a sexual level.I'm pretty much just looking for some incite on my question. I sometimes want people to ask me "are you gay?" but yet sometimes I feel "I hope they don't ask me" Should I tell a close friend about this because the more and more I keep this bottled up inside it gets worse and worse.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): Not all guys react to woman as just pons to sleep with them and move on.Maybe you need more of a verity of friends of guys,that have morals,that is more than just I'd sleep with her,(degrating).I'm a bi guy but I'm not thinking that when I look at anyone guy or girl.Ive looked at gay porn/masterbated to it,but I'm not with a guy b/c I dont want to be.Lots of people are in your shoes,I've considered it,but it wasnt for me and I didnt need to sleep with anyone to know that,nor for anyone to tell me who I am,though people have tryed to define me.I really dont think your gay.A lot of guys just jerk off to gay porn,they have girl friends,wives,or single.But they dont call them selfs gay.Some are just addicted to gay porn, others are bi and wont to see it.I'm bi and just want to watch it.I have strong feelings for guys to but it just doesnt feel right to me.
Im also a major flirter to guys,but it comes naturl to flirt with anyone thats flirting with you.Or sometimes I just do it without even thinking about it.I love to flirt guys/girls its just me I guese dont let anyone define you though,define your self gay,bi,staight,choose one I know its hard.But life wouldnt be intersting without free will "to be or not to be that is the question" Mecbeth
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): Not all guys react to woman as just pons to sleep with them and move on.Maybe you need more of a verity of friends of guys,that have morals,that is more than just I'd sleep with her,(degrating).I'm a bi guy but I'm not thinking that when I look at anyone guy or girl.Ive looked at gay porn/masterbated to it,but I'm not with a guy b/c I dont want to be.Lots of people are in your shoes,I've considered it,but it wasnt for me and I didnt need to sleep with anyone to know that,nor for anyone to tell me who I am,though people have tryed to define me.I really dont think your gay.A lot of guys just jerk off to gay porn,they have girl friends,wives,or single.But they dont call them selfs gay.Some are just addicted to gay porn, others are bi and wont to see it.I'm bi and just want to watch it.I have strong feelings for guys to but it just doesnt feel right to me. Im also a major flirter to guys,but it comes naturl to flirt with anyone thats flirting with you.Or sometimes I just do it without even thinking about it.I love to flirt guys/girls its just me I guese dont let anyone define you though,define your self gay,bi,staight,choose one I know its hard.But life wouldnt be intersting without free will "to be or not to be that is the question" Mecbeth
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): Not all guys react to woman as just pons to sleep with them and move on.Maybe you need more of a verity of friends of guys,that have morals,that is more than just I'd sleep with her,(degrating).I'm a bi guy but I'm not thinking that when I look at anyone guy or girl.Ive looked at gay porn/masterbated to it,but I'm not with a guy b/c I dont want to be.Lots of people are in your shoes,I've considered it,but it wasnt for me and I didnt need to sleep with anyone to know that,nor for anyone to tell me who I am,though people have tryed to define me.I really dont think your gay.A lot of guys just jerk off to gay porn,they have girl friends,wives,or single.But they dont call them selfs gay.Some are just addicted to gay porn, others are bi and wont to see it.I'm bi and just want to watch it.I have strong feelings for guys to but it just doesnt feel right to me. Im also a major flirter to guys,but it comes naturl to flirt with anyone thats flirting with you.Or sometimes I just do it without even thinking about it.I love to flirt guys/girls its just me I guese dont let anyone define you though,define your self gay,bi,staight,choose one I know its hard.But life wouldnt be intersting without free will "to be or not to be that is the question" Mecbeth
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009): I think telling a close friends not agood idea because they may tell another friend and then soon enough everyone knows and asking are you gay so and so said you are and that person could be the person you confided in.Its happened to me and I don't really like to be tagged.Sure I also watch gay porn and jerk off to it but I havent been with a guy yet.And I don't think I'm going to be with a guy I don't know I've had opertunitys to be with a guy but chose not to.I'm 20 right know and I think I'll end up with a girl personally.A lot of my friends have asked if I'm gay before and I tell them no even when I'm not sure.I say write it down on your computer how your felling or go on line to a site were you can chat with someone and tell them how your feeling.I mean how can someone really judge you if they don't know you or were you live right.
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A
male
reader, Merisier +, writes (16 April 2008):
i dont know if you should tell a close friend about it cause you dont know how that close friend going to react. Im saying that because because i lost one of my best annd best friend like that. When i told him i think i have feeling for guy and that ive been having bad dream lately about me having sex with another guy, He stop calling me. and it has been 3 months since that, he usualy call me or come to see me on my birthday but there was no sign of him this time. All im telling you, you have to think twice before you act cause not all friends have a good understanding.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): I'm gay and I can relate to your situation. I think you're on the verge of admitting to yourself that yes you're gay.
Doing something sexual doesn't make you gay. If you're sexually attracted to men now and not so much women then you're already gay. Doing something or not doing something won't change that.
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A
female
reader, lola717 +, writes (16 April 2008):
If you do decide to tell a close friend make sure its someone with an open mind. Definitely don't tell one of your "dude I want to get in her bed" friends... I doubt they'd understand.
Thats really the only problem I see in this question. You know if you're gay or not. You've already taken it to the sexual level by looking at gay porn. Its up to you to get a deeper physical exploration of you're feelings or not. No amount of advice from strangers can persuade you.
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