A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyfriend I really, genuinely like. I'm afraid, however, that he's getting bored with me. He no longer gets on AIM to talk, and when we're with his friends he talks much more to them than to me. I'm so busy agonizing over this, I'm afraid it will become a self-fufilling prophecy--Shouldn't he want to talk to me often? Clinginess is not attractive, and I'm all for him having space, but I just need to know if he still feels the same about me as when we first started dating! If he is getting bored, what can I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (16 April 2008):
Hi there,
I know how you feel, ive been through that situation a fair few times unfortunately. So I do understand how worrying it can be.
From my experience there can be a number of reasons why your bf may be acting like this. But first let me just make sure of something, during the early stages of your relationship was he like all over you? Wanting to see you all the time and so on and now hes cut back on that time? is that right?
It could be just that hes out of the 'honeymoon phase' and you are still in it. During the honeymoon phase you want to see your bf/gf non stop and cant get them out of your head and just want to spend every waking moment with them, its like your crazy about them.
Your bf may of just became very comfortable in your relationship so perhaps his need to be with you and talk to you all the time has lessened? Some bfs [and gfs] become slack when they are comfortable.
Or at worst it could be that hes having doubts about your relationship. Unfortunately this has happened to me before and it hurts so much. If only they could just be hoenst and say hey im having some doubts. If they let you know then you can work on it, but if they become distant nothing can happen and you are left feeling out in the cold and confused.
So there are some possibilities but you still dont know why hes doing what hes doing so you are going to have to ask him i think. Calmly say to him that you miss talking to him on AIM. See what his reaction is. Maybe he will have some reason. If he comes up with some lame excuse (which could be to cover up the truth) then I would continue the conversation by pointing out examples of how else you feel he has been distant. Explain that you would like to talk to him more and see if he is willing to meet you half way so your needs and his are being met. If he is sincere and is still interested in you and the relationship he will make an effort to please you. So although he may not come out and tell you hes bored with you (thats if he is really) you will be able to tell if he makes a promise to make an effort to talk to you more and so on. Hope this has helped :)
A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (16 April 2008):
 Hi,
not much information to go on here, save for the fact he likes talking to his friends. It really does sound like you are clingy. Give us more info to prove otherwise.
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