A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Please tell me, why, after dating someone else for two and a half years I am still completely, totally, obsessed with my ex?This means checking his facebook profile nearly every night, although we are not friends so I can only see the same small 1 inch picture, when I don't even find him that good looking. Constantly referencing his name when I am with family and friends. Dreaming about him. Thinking about him. Staying up until now searching the internet for a random girl (my ex's current gf); which I only know her first name and what state she is from. I hid every single picture and album I had, have dropped nearly all communication with my ex for two years. And now, at nearly 4 am, I am writing about how crazy and pathetic I am, on dear cupid, even though I have work early tomorrow (today) and have a freaking bf!!!! I feel awful and...I am going crazy!!! please help me!!!! what can I do to get this person out of my head, what can I do to move on and forget the past... I have given it a long time, but obviously it is not working and I know it is not fair to my bf!!! THANK YOU in advance!!!
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facebook, move on, my ex, the internet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): Some people just struggle to put the past behind them, for example my ex gf basically dumped me because she could not forget her last BF and went back to him. To me it's a sign of Immaturity and vulnerability. You need to just grow up and stop to stalking him It'll just make things worse. Concentrate on your current relationship and let the past in the past.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): Dont worry, your not suffering from a disorder, your only human! ive been in a similar situation and believe me it is not the best feeling:/
What helped me was actually talking to him, but this was 4 years after we broke up. and just hearing about how his life was going made me realize that i was indeed better off. But what you need is closure. whether its talking to him, email, or just hearing an update from a mutual friend; and move on.
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A
female
reader, rollercoasterride  +, writes (30 June 2009):
 Yeh, a lot of people will say in this situation "think about the reasons you broke up in the first place" but the problem there is- you'll probably start thinking the reasons were actually pretty stupid and maybe you could've worked at it.Because it's been 2 years, you won't remember exactly how you felt at the time you broke up so now you're idolising him and maybe even his gf and wondering whether things coulda woulda shoulda been different!Remember your current bf and imagine how you'd feel if he was like this with his ex. Hopefully you'll hate the thought and realise that what you have now is way too good to start comparing to an altogether very different situation.In the meantime - you need to practise some discipline! Just stop yourself going on there and eventually if you get it down to once a week it'll be on your mind less and you'll start forgetting to look, and enjoying your life at the moment. I can't say I don't randomly type in exes names on social networking sites once a year or so, but what you're doing is becoming obsessed. You need willpower!Just don't allow yourself to click! Don't do it!Good luck! x x x
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A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (30 June 2009):
 I think you could be suffering a cumpulsive disorder at the moment possibly brought on by a stressful situation, if you look back on when this started/got out of control you might find something that happened to you which distressed you to the point it triggered a severe stress response. Its not your fault so don't beat yourself up about it, happens to a lot of people at sometime in their life to varying degrees.. But to get out of it you will need to see your doctor and explain what has been going on. If you don't get the support you need go to a female doctor who are usually more aware and understanding. If this doesn't work get back and I'll think on it some more on it...every closed room has a door somewhere.
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