A
female
age
30-35,
*ysterium
writes:Hi allSo I registered for a dating site and met this one guy after a really long time. Finally found someone I thought I liked. We met and hit it off immediately. We got along really well and he would be really eager to meet me and texted me all the time. After a month i asked him what exactly was he looking for and he said he wanted something casual. I told him I was looking for something that lasts long, more like a relationship. That was it. He was fine for the next few days and then stopped talking to me. He was be very on and off and I figured it was because of what I said so I never pushed him or brought it up again. He eventually stopped talking to me.I feel firstly, stupid for saying something like that. Maybe I shouldn't have said it. Secondly, I feel so used and easy. I feel like I gave into him so easily. I was like putty in his hands. And thirdly, I am literally having the hardest time getting over him. I mean it's almost going to be two months since we spoke last but I just can't seem to let go. Honestly, I'm not not from around here so I don't have many friends or any family at all to fall back on. So I'm just dealing with this on my own and I think it's just fueled by my homesickness or loneliness in this city. I've stopped showing interest in anything and I'm in really low spirits all the time. I'm not blaming him. I guess it was not meant to be. I just need to get over it now. I'm really sad and literally have nobody to communicate this to. I cry almost everyday, every morning. I really don't know how to get over this? I'm having such a hard time. Help.
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, shna  +, writes (24 November 2013):
 Your better off that you told him what you wanted from the relationship this could have gone on for months and you would have been even more heart broken !I know it sucks being away from family and friends but this is your time to prove to yourself that you can be independent and you dont need to run home to be dependent on others :) You need to work on yourself for the moment and you know you want a relationship so lets look more into detail ! What do you want from your relationship ! Theres no point being in a relationship if its with sombody with no job no money and no emoitional support so get a few things straigh in your headGo cold turkey on this guy delete him ! Send him a message explaining why if you feel the need to ok but dont let him back into your life ok ! He was doing youna favour by not talking to you! you may not realise in now but he was in the long run !Start making yourself busy create a routine of work/ working out making yourself a better person join fitness classes where you can meet people with the same interests ! Go out for a drink or a coffee with sombody from work ! You dont need to issolate yourself and you dont need to be alone you just need to find a new routine ! Time is a great healer and all that but it doesnt help if your sitting around all day starting at a computer screen !! Go outside and enjoy life x
A
male
reader, methuselah  +, writes (24 November 2013):
Hi,Well, from what I can see, he is probably registered on the site to meet a number of girls and have 'fun' with no long term commitments. In all fairness, he did tell you this. For you,you are looking for something long term. (that's good) Therefore, it seems you are both looking for different things. Therefore, he has moved onto another like-minded individual. For you, you need to make contact with more guys on the site and you will find a like-minded guy. It's no body's fault here. He wants casual flings, you do not.Start messaging and looking at more profiles. I hope things are a success for you!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2013): You know it seems today a lot of guys are just looking for casual hook ups. When you meet someone especially on a dating site, that is mostly what they are looking for. It can be difficult when you both want different things. I'm sorry that you are feeling sad and alone. I am going through the same thing and I am in my late forties. I wished that I didn't say certain things to the guy I liked too. Once you say something you can't take it back. I am divorced and I didn't realize how hard it is to find someone who wants a long term relationship. Do not feel badly for letting him know what you wanted because in long the run, you would have gotten hurt even more. It wasn't right for him to just stop talking to you and leave you hanging. If you are feeling really badly there are hotlines where people can listen to you and they won't judge you, cause that's what you need right now is support. I hope that you start feeling better and connect with the right people. Take it one day at a time.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2013): Hello,please go to the book store, get the book, how to be your own best friend, paperback five dollars, you be surprise, its like the book is about you, it will help, every body should read it, with a broken heart.
...............................
A
male
reader, M Proops +, writes (24 November 2013):
Well he laid it on the line from the start thatthat he only wanted a casual relationship which meant long term seriousness was not on the cards.You'll have to let it go i'm afraid, you sound like the type that falls in love to easily.Plenty more fish in the sea.Mr right will come along eventually,move on.
...............................
|
