A
female
age
36-40,
*ada21
writes:Hiya!Recently went on a date with a guy last Saturday via online dating. We had a good flow of conversation on the site, not obssessive, then we exchanged numbers. The date was great, I could tell he was a bit nervous but once he saw me I could tell he was attracted to me. We couldn't stop talking, he was very open about himself, family, etc. He genuinely found me funny to the point he went bright red. Anyway he paid for the drinks(I bought the second) and extended the date to get dinner. He paid for that as well, I did insist on going Dutch. After the meal, I said I'm getting a taxi to go home, he said if he can join me as the cab was passing his place. He paid for half the fare, I managed to let him make pay for some of the fare.Anyway we had so much to talk about out in the cab. As we arrived to his stop, he hugged and kissed my cheek and said several times "speak soon" then he nervously went off. What was that about? He hasn't called yet, his job requires a lot of travel in the week, but I'm soo confused, does he fancy me? Maybe he is a gent, it's usually me taming guys, soo confused?!!!!
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female
reader, jada21 +, writes (26 November 2013):
jada21 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey Thanks, he is in his early thirties and I have a feeling he's trying to appear cool. Sometimes good guys listen to bad advice. Anyway I caved in today and sent a jokey text message. I didn't end it with a question in a bid for him to respond, but just a gentle teasing nudge. Plus he may be intimidated by me, I'm not trying to sound up myself but I am very attractive and have to always reassure guys that I'm not going to find someone else. Story of my life really.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 November 2013):
 I'm wondering if he is taking advice from guy friends and NOT calling you sooner or if he is (like Cindy mentioned) spreading himself out on a bunch of ladies t find the one HE "thinks" is right for him.
I know a LOT of people think you should wait 3+ days to call after a date, I'm of a different opinion, I think if there is interest the sooner the better.
It's hard to tell if he is listening to "bad" advice from friends ( so he doesn't seem TOO eager in your eyes) or if he just isn't that into you.
If you are interested you know you could call him too? Right?
If you rather wait... Then I would say if he hasn't called within a week, I'd look elsewhere.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 November 2013):
 My take is slightly different. It does not really matter IMO if he is a bit shy, or confident, or something in between. The fact is, let's not forget it, you met him on a dating site. So, 99% of probabilities that he is seeing other candidates, maybe even a long rooster of them. He might have liked you and enjoyed teh date, - but probably is doing some comprative shopping and before getting back to you , he is seeing a couple or a few more ladies, just in case...you never know what's around the corner etc. That's how the game is played , unless one is really smitten and overwhelmed at first sight- and it is considered normal and legit , at least in a first, screening phase. Which makes for a certain fluidity or lazyness in following up even successful dates.
You don't have to like the game and its rules, and you don't have to accept them if you don't like them. And if you are only looking for a guy who shows an ACTIVE interest for you and real enthusiasm in pursuing you, nobody is going to blame you, in fact it's a good idea. But, better be aware of how things actually work .
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (26 November 2013):
 It's only been three days. He's probably learned that coming on too strong pushes women away. So he's doing the opposite; he's giving it a bit of time. Move on if you'd like. But I'd be willing to bet he's just taking it slow.
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A
female
reader, jada21 +, writes (26 November 2013):
jada21 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your responses, the date was three days ago. I do think he is a bit shy but he does come across as really confident at the same time. I get this feeling that because he's hot he doesn't need to work hard and expects the girl to chase him. I'm just going to do my thing, if I don't hear from him by today I'll move on.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (26 November 2013):
Last Saturday as in over a week ago? Or last Saturday two days ago? Bit of a difference lol. But either way, not a tell tale sign.
If I were a betting girl, I’d bet he’ll call/text you soon. It definitely sounds like all the right signs were there that he’s interested and into you. He just seems to be taking it slow. Don’t sweat it too much. Give him another week or so. He may even just be traveling and really busy.
Take it as a good sign he’s not too pushy and needy. He’ll get back in touch with you.
good luck.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (26 November 2013):
Last Saturday as in over a week ago? Or last Saturday two days ago? Bit of a difference lol. But either way, not a tell tale sign.
If I were a betting girl, I’d bet he’ll call/text you soon. It definitely sounds like all the right signs were there that he’s interested and into you. He just seems to be taking it slow. Don’t sweat it too much. Give him another week or so. He may even just be traveling and really busy.
Take it as a good sign he’s not too pushy and needy. He’ll get back in touch with you.
good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2013): I was curious how long has it been since you heard from him?
I was nervous on my first date and you just want things to go
well. It sounds like the two of you had a good time. Not knowing where you stand is confusing. You said that he travels so he could probably just be busy but he should at least text you. If you have his number text him and just say something like, "Haven't heard from you hope you are well."
It makes it sound like you are not desperate for another date and it's sincere. If and when you do speak to this man just casually mention that you had fun and then let him lead the
way. If you don't hear from him then I suggest to move forward. Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2013): If you haven't already just send a text saying you enjoyed the evening and if he'd like as you like to go out again. If he doesn't reply to that hang it up for him but give him at least two days to respond and see what his reason was for not replying sooner although u don't ask him why didn't he respond sooner. You want to seem interested but not clingy. So contact him if u wish to see him. And his behavior wasn't off. He was actually hoping to get a positive reply from u like I definitely enjoyed the evening with u. The guy is just shy or maybe u make him blush and shy or something.
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