A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im going to be 20 in 6 months or so and im still a virgin. And the thought of it (and still being a virgin at 19 for that matter) is absolutely killing me. I hate myself so much and i cant stop with feeling negative, even though i know thats just going to make everything a million times worse-and it does. I just cant break the cycle. I think about suicide fairly regularly and am just negative and down about pretty much everything. People tell me that i have to cheer up, and that i will find a girl soon cos im handsome and have a good sense of humour but i cant cheer up. Nothing ever happens to me when it comes to girls (which to be honest is probably all my own fault anyway, as i hate nightclubs and dont even drink alcohol which APPARENTLY are the only things that can help me to meet girls). I just cant bear the thought that i will be TWENTY and still be a virgin. And one morning i will probably wake up and find that its my 40th birthday and hey, look, im still and virgin. A horrible, bored, depressed loner. My stomach is lurching at just the thought of it. Is there anyone else out there who is still a virgin at my age? Im not looking for anything serious i just want to be normal, i dont want marriage or kids i just want someone to have some fun with. I'd do whatever it took to make her happy. Why is this happenning to me? I never did anything to anyone, and i feel awful all the time.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010): Hey!
I was very depressed, angry, sad, and I couldnt sleep over this. Im 25 and as of next week lemme just say Im losing it in style. I made a decision, Ive given relationships a chance, meeting women, etc. Its one of those things I will conform with society as theres plenty of other different crap I can offer women. Im not gonna attach an emotion to such a natural and casual act. Like a guy said its a just a penis in a vagina. Now, I underwent counseling to aid in my decision. When you make decisions at a low self esteem, you can regret them. My mental health outweighs my morals right here and thru counseling (altho my counselor disagrees with my decision) I ve come to realize what I need to do and and need to take drastic action to get over my fears. I think you should make a decision too...whether its just pickin up a girl meeting a random one thru someone. In any case, think hard about the decision and feel confident. I give you utmost respect for staying away from clubs and booze....you will only find dirty and bad women most likely. Keep ur head up pal...think about what u wanna do and follow thru. Make life...dont let life make u. Peace.
A
female
reader, LiveAnnLearn  +, writes (12 September 2010):
 You just seem so lethargic about everything that's going on I can't help but wondering why? I'm making an impression that you feel like your life is completely out of your hands and the only way of getting a hold of it is by ending it, which is completely untrue and can only harm you to keep thinking that way. Nightclubs and alcohol isn't the only way but it is a pretty good one, ok if you don't like to drink but why do you mind going out once in a while? If you totally dislike nightclubs find places you do like, no matter where you live I'm sure there's plenty of potential girlfriends around, maybe ask your friends to hook you up with one? The important thing is, it does NOT mater are you a virgin or not, just try to stop thinking about it and enjoy life, relax, get out there, more you do that more girls you'll meet and yes, I'm sure soon the time will come when you'll get some:) If you figure out you can't get rid of the negative, suicidal thoughts on your own maybe seeing a therapist wouldn't be such a bad idea... Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): Are you kidding me? You hate yourself for this? Don't try to be "normal" - decide what you value and be YOU. In my opinion, it's awesome to wait for the right person and time and be a gift to them in that way... and the fact that you are feeling ashamed or unhappy may reflect the fact that you still have a bit of maturing to do before you're fully adult...don't rush it. Know yourself, dare to be yourself and something other than "normal," and be confident in the life that you make for yourself.
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A
female
reader, sarahrose20  +, writes (12 September 2010):
i think its really awsome your still a virgin and if you do meet a girl she will be very pleased to find that out. in regards to losing your virginity if all your looking for is a one night stand use a dating or chat site to find local girls thats how my best friend got with her current boyfriend 2 years ago you have to put yourself out there in order to be seen,
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A
female
reader, xxbuggabu24xx  +, writes (11 September 2010):
 Aw hun really dont worry about sex. Save you virginity for someone who you really love and really care about. it will mean so much more to you if you do wait! I bet anyone that answers this question will all say they wish they would have waited for that special someone or that they gave it to that special someone. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin so dont stress yourself out or beat yourself up over this!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (11 September 2010):
 The only time I went partying is curiosity and as a friendly gesture to my coworker. Just go there and order something mixed with lots of orange juice. Pretend to sip a little bit and take tons of time never finishing it. Practice talking to lots of women and find out what turns them on. Being able to dance is not a requirement to be a good man but body language shows how much passion you have in other areas of life.
The difference between a bad boy and a virgin is confidence. A bad boy gets rejected more often but it's not life and death to them. There are plenty of other girls out there. Keep trying. Post an ad online, on newspaper, like I want to celebrate my 20th birthday with someone special. Don't do anything to make a woman happy unless you know that she wants to make you happy too. If all fails (if the future is really that bleak) you can try mail order brides. That 40 year old virgin idea is just silly.
Sex is over hyped but sex is not only penis in vagina. strongfp is trying to tell you you are making yourself miserable because you are making too much of a big deal out of losing your virginity. You have the desire to be enveloped by a woman, to share passion with a woman but the revolution of sex in modern days had made women more practical and more materialistic. Birth control options gave people the chances to have sex with whomever and whenever. So women don't always have to look for a provider and a good father anymore when they can choose hunks or studs. It's not your fault here. Don't give up yet. It's not as hard as you think. The internet has made it possible that sex is only a click away. Underneath those horny souls are people who want to be loved.
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A
female
reader, Elydiese +, writes (11 September 2010):
I'm 20 in less than 2 months and i'm still a virgin sure ive done other stuff but ive never had sex and it doesnt bother me in the slightest. You should wait for the right person they wont judge you for not sleeping around with as many women as you can you shouldnt hate yourself for it. There are people in their mid 30's, 40's and even 50's who are still virgins, be glad you're just getting out of the teens and start going out and enjoying yourself more
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010): hey believe me ur not the only one and i must say im impressed to see a girl your age and still a virgin :D have some value and respect for your body and dont let any ass:::le take away the most valuable thing you have
you actually shuold be proud of yourself and that special who you would be sure that he is the right guy, must be very lucky to get a girl who never has been touched by any other guy
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