A
female
age
30-35,
*livekitteh
writes:I know that 17 is perhaps a bit too young to be worrying about relationships and men (and I usually don't), but it's come to my attention that not a single guy has ever approached me, at least with any romantic intentions. I'm in my second year of college (yes, college), I have a relatively active social life, and I've been informed several times by total strangers as well as my friends that I'm a very attractive individual in terms of looks/personality/intelligence. I've also been told that I might seem...intimidating at times. I certainly don't try to be. I don't even understand what that means. It's not like I have a scowl on my face all the time. I can also be a very quiet, reserved person, so is that why guys don't want to come close? Does anyone else have this problem? How can I fix this? Advising me to "come out of my shell" doesn't really help much because it's spectacularly hard for me to do so, particularly around guys. I get even quieter than usual and a bit nervous when I'm around men that I am not familiar with. I have a close friend who is very much like me in terms of personality, but even she's been approached by a guy before. :/ What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (6 April 2012):
 Hi,
You are still young and I promise you that you'll have many opportunities ahead :). Like you said in your post, without intensions, probably you make guys feel intimidated approaching you. You are pretty and guys get insecure with pretty girls, smart with confidence. How about smile more? Maybe your body language is too tight? Loosen up, smile and don't think too much. Smile, and look at guys in the eyes, so that way, maybe they feel more comfortable approaching you? At your age, I was a little shy, never look a guy in the face, because I get nervous, but once I start not thinking too much, have casual talks with friends, everything felt into place and start becoming normal. Like you said, I guess you give guys the wrong impression. I am not sure if this helps, but I hope you can make many friends and start enjoying the party, dating life. Just remember that this is the best time of your life!!! Enjoy it!!!
Good luck and best wishes!
A
female
reader, Anongrace  +, writes (6 April 2012):
I used to be and still am in the same position. I'm 20 and since the age of 15ish/16ish only really old or unattractive(in my opinion) men(not boys) seem to approach me. When I was in secondary school and sixthform, non of the boys ever approached me. My first bf(who was my last), I approached him first. We dated from when I was 16 and we broke up last year when I was 19. People also say that i'm pretty and I know when I look in the mirror I see a relatively good looking person, so I don't understand why guys my age(or at least around my age range) never approach me. I do know that once when I was 16 in secondary school, some boy said to me that boys might be intimidated by me because of my height. I found that really silly because i'm only 5'8"(then I was maybe a inch or 2 shorter) and of all things to be intimidated by, my height, really? I'm also a pretty quiet and reserved person as well. All in all, my advice is to not be too bothered by it and don't make it the centre of your attention.
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