A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:It's been a year and months since I last had sex.To start I wanna make it clear that sex isn't the ONLY thing I'm looking for. A relationship would be nice, but lets just say that a one night stand is something I would definitely consider doing.Would you say that I'm being too impatient? 15 months seems like a hell of a long time to me! Sometimes I find myself questioning whether I'm attractive or not, which doesn't take me very long to dismiss, because I consider myself fairly good looking... But then again; 15 MONTHS!!I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't go "looking for it" when I go out in the evening, which is advice I have been given by a number of people. I shower regularly, I work out when I can, I have a good sense of humor... What is it that I'm missing??I don't want to wait anymore, but I know that's inevitable, so any advice on how to shorten my wait?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bfire  +, writes (10 August 2008):
I haven't sex for 5 years. I am 23. Before that I only had sex once. I am tall, nice, handsome, etc. I even studied abroad for 5 years where my apperance is considered exotic, exciting, and sexy. I thought the same about the girls in that country. But to no avail, still no sex, or even a kiss actually.Why?First I am a nice guy. For me to attempt a one night stand is nearly impossible. Although I really want it, I just want to have 'free' sex and explore my sexuality more because I am inexperienced I would say, I just can't because I feel like I need to get to know someone first, if not I feel like I would just be using a girl. Which I don't want to 'use' anyone. I am afraid of loosing face and disrespecting people, maybe to an over-degree though. Plus I wouldn't say I am aggressive. Second, and maybe this is aimed more at you. You say you "don't go looking for it"? Then how do you attempt to meet a girl or whatever that is looking for a one night stand also? If you aren't looking for a relationship, then I guess seeming more desperate for sex may be the way to go when you go out on the town. This way girls who are looking for a one night stand also will see something in common with you, and if you are funny and attractive it should work out fine. The thing you will have to really ask yourself though is, "Do you want to just have sex with some stranger.?" Are you doing this because you don't want to spend your time and work towards a relationship? If you don't want to work towards a relationship and don't really care to love a girl, this is the main reason you aren't getting laid. In all reality, 15 months is nothing! I think instead of just seeing sex you should look for something else. Wait until you find a girl you really like and are attracted to.Sex by itself is good, don't get me wrong.Sex with someone you really like, feel comfortable with, and trust is maybe one of the BEST things humans can experience. Thats just my opinion though, good luck. If all you want is sexual gratification, you can just pay a prostitute if you really think it is that important.
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