A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok long story but please I really need help!! I am in college and a few months ago I went to this house with my friend. We were the only girls there and there were like 5 guys. I was upset that my "boyfriend" or whatever he is went to a party and didnt invite me and didnt respond to my texts that whole night. So I got really drunk (the drunkest I've ever been) and started feeling really sick. This guy who lives at the house offered to take care of me. He was a little drunk too and after giving me a bucket, he took me to his room where my friend (lets call her "Sam") was sleeping. I layed down on the bed next to her but she left when I started puking, leaving me alone with the guy. He asked me if I wanted to have sex but I said no. He then asked again and I said ok, not really realizing what I was doing. At that point, all I wanted to do was sleep, so i thought if I do it, he will leave me alone. We only did it for like 30 sec and then he left. Right after that, this other guy layed down next to me and started cuddling. Right then I told him that I wasnt going to have sex with him and he left. The next morning, I found out that all the guys called me a slut and "Sam" didnt even stand up for me. She said she felt like she couldnt because of what I was doing and even asked me if I could go back to the house to apologize for my behavior!! I told her that I was never going back there, but a week later, she went with her other friend to that guys birthday party!!Oh and by the way, the guy has a girlfriend! I am not speaking to "Sam" now and vice versa. Who do you think is right here? Were my actions that of a slut or did I get taken advantage of and was betrayed by my "friend"?
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (10 August 2008):
I think you are right and that you were taken advantage of. For a guy to know that you are that drunk and asking you for sex, he saw you as an easy target and thought he would take advantage of it. Then, with his friend to come in to "cuddle" with you. What a jerk! He told his friend and then his friend thought he could come in and get some. Ugh! The nerve! I'm sorry you had to go through that. And "Sam" is not a good friend. If anybody should be apologizing it should be those guys. "Sam" is probably insecure and more worried about being accepted by those guys than having you as a friend.I think you are right to not go over there again and to not talk to your friend. She should have been taking care of you that night and making sure those jerks weren't messing with you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for the answers!! yeah i am not friends with "sam" anymore. and i did tell the guy what happened, but it turned out that he was only using me so he didn't really care :(
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): its not all your fault. but you need to respect yourself. and not give yourself to just anyone seriously.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): In this situation i would say you were taken advantage of and you friend "sam" should have stuck up for you. Also this male has a girlfriend so he shouldnt have even thought about doing that. However, having you done this does your boyfriend know. If he does not know I suggest you tell him what happened because of honesty in your realtionship and because he may find out off someone which may not be very good. I wish you the best of luck.
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