A
female
age
26-29,
*heconfusedteen
writes:Well, there's this thing. I'm 15 and well, I'm flat. All my friends are way more developed than me, which makes this problem even suckier. Guys in my school tease me for it and the guys who are close to me tell me that I'm pretty, nice and all, but they still don't know why doesn't any guy like me. I'm wondering is this an issue? My group of friends all have boyfriends which makes me so jealous when they brag about them. Honest answers please. =)Oh yeah, I got some remarks that I'm a little tomboyish. Can this be a factor too?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): Well since I married the class tomboy, let me tell you why.
She is interesting; because she likes the things that interest me too. She isn't afraid to say what she thinks, so I know where I stand and there's no second-guessing. She can hold up her end in a conversation, so most nights we just sit around the fire reading and chatting. Because she likes to do more than just shop, we've been to places and done things that most people only see on TV.
Because she wasn't some prissy girl, but wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty, we could build our own house. Because she has simple-looking but actually-subtle taste the house didn't cost too much but looks perfect. This saved our bacon when our failing bank called back its loan: we sold our cars (we both had classic cars we had restored) and paid off the loan. If I had married a different type of girl we would have lost our house. If I had married a different type of girl, she wouldn't have been involved in our finances and would be angry at me that we have to catch the bus for a few years.
The other important thing is that you can relax when you are with a tomboy-ish woman. You don't need to be "on" all of the time. You don't have to wear the superman suit all of the time. You can be yourself. So you end up with a relationship about people rather than a relationship about roles. It's about how good you are as a person, not how good you fit in the box labelled "husband" or "wife'.
As for flat chested, don't sweat it. Nature will give you what it gives you -- although it will be a few years yet before you know what that will be. Most of what you see on TV isn't real, and the boys you go around with are too young to have figured that out yet.
Sexually-wise, breast size makes no difference to satisfaction. What does make a difference is communication, and your partner having the tomboy habit of being willing to say what they want and what doesn't work for them makes for great sex. Most men would kill for a partner who is forthright enough to initiate sex when they are in the mood.
Now let me tell you why you don't have a boyfriend. Tomboys don't take any crap, and the boys know that. All most schoolboys want to do is to feed their girlfriends some crap line to get into their knickers; and they know that won't work with you.
Since you can do all of the things a boy can do, the only thing they have to offer you is themselves. Boys find that thought scary, men find that thought refreshing.
You're going to have to wait until the boys grow into men (around 20 I'm afraid), have had a few casual but doomed relationships, and are reevaluating their preference in women.
I went to school with my wife, but I didn't really pay her any romantic attention until I was in a hostel in Frankfurt, walked in the door, saw her, and was hit by just how much I had always enjoyed life when I was with her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010): Being 15 can be painful, but just rest assured your body will catch up. Most of the girls in my class didn't blossom till they went to college. Sure, some got boobs at 16 or 17, but their bodies didn't really develop. Our first high school reunion was great- the girls were all very good looking, the guys (especially the former athletes) where over weight, balding and had crappy jobs. Remember the a-holes, and wait a few years
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2010): There are people out there who prefer flatter chests and tomboys. I'm one.
Contrary to popular belief, there are a lot of people at the age of 15 who are single.
There's nothing wrong with being single. You'll find a partner when the time is right.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2010): you sound like me when i was 15.
there's no need to rush, your still growing! & natural beauty is wayyy better.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 May 2010):
You still have time to develop. And young guys are immature anyway, so there's no rush. You have guy friends who tell you that you're pretty, so listen to them. And there's nothing wrong with being a tomboy either. The problem is that young men are immature and are usually after one thing. You'll find your Mr Right, and you'll end up with a far better guy than any of those other girls will. Stop worrying. There's nothing wrong with you.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (9 May 2010):
 It is ok to be a tomboy - that can be an attractive quality because you have broader interests than some other girl's of your age-group. Frankly being a teenager in 2010 is no easy thing. You are under constant pressure to be this, that and the other. The secret to dealing with all these things is to rise above them and just accept you are the way you are (people have to accept you the way you are). Having a big chest is no picnic, it gives you back ache for a start and you wouldn't want boys dating you just because you have a big chest as that would be a disaster. Your body is still developing and you don't know what you will end up looking like at 20. As for boys, your friend's tell you the positive stuff about dating but they perhaps forget to mention that many teenage boys make lousy boyfriends. They are obsessed by sexual stuff, move their attention between girl's really quickly and they can be really mean to their girlfriend's until they reach an age of emotional maturity (often later than 15!!!). I wouldn't be jealous but feel confident - you already know how to talk to boys as mates which is an excellent starting point for a happy romantic life later on. You have to be good mates with your boyfriend or else it just won't work in the long-run. Feel confident even if you are a tomboy because there will be lots of boys out there who like that quality. It is better to be yourself than some fake barbie doll impersonator who is trying too hard to fit the feminine stereotype.
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