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14, pregnant, what do I say to my mom?

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 August 2009) 10 Answers - (Newest, 19 August 2009)
A female United States age 26-29, *s.Peecup352 writes:

ok well hi everyone. Im really scarred to tell my parents im 14 and pregnant. I has sex for the first time with my boyfriend of 6 months and the condom broke on August 8th, today which is 9 days later I had implantation bleeding. The past few days my breasts have hurt, been nausea's and I just know im pregnant. Altho to be sure im going to take a home pregnancy test on the 29th, which is 2 days after when my period is supposed to come. I told my boyfriend, he's extremly nervous but super happy and completly supports me 100% percent.

Please don't tell me anything about being too young, its my life so remember that when you talk about it. My question is - HOW and WHAT do I say to my mom? My boyfriend will be with me for support but obviusly im sick to my stomach bcuz im so nervous.

Please help ;(

View related questions: breasts, condom, period, pregnancy test

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A female reader, Share Bear United Kingdom +, writes (19 August 2009):

Share Bear agony auntYou're worrying about telling your mum about this when, ultimately in this situation, it is her job to be worried about and to be looking after you- not the other way around! If you tell you mum she can be there for you through this, be a shoulder for you to cry on, give you hugs and could've given you the reassurance not to worry until you've taken a second test.

The more you share with your mum, the more support she can give you and the more she can share your life with you; which is exactly what mum's are there for.

The best relationship you can have with your mum is for her to be like a best friend- a best friend who has known you all your life and always has your best interest at heart -and also has enough life experience to give you really sound advice.

The more you let her into your life, the more support she can give you- whether the next test comes back positive or not, I'm sure she'd want to be there to give you hugs either way.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009):

you do not know for sure.please remember that.if you have bled then the chances of pregnancy are slim.and i third satins advice.take 2 tests to be sure.

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A female reader, kehurch United States +, writes (18 August 2009):

whoah whoah whoaaah. It's only been nine days! calm down girlfriend. a lot of girls get this problem of feeling nausea's because they THINK they are pregnant. So sit down and get yourself together. It's a hard time, and no one SHOULD judge you for being too young to have sex. When the time comes when you should have your normal period, take a test, if you should up negative, great! BUT if you don't start your period after two weeks of your missed period, take another test. Many girls miss there period by a few days because they gets so stressed out. STOP being stressed. And after you have your period, which I hope you do, go to plan parent hood and get some birth control. Or ask your mom to get you some, you don't have to tell her your having sex but tell her that you get really bad cramps and really bad acne and you need something to help. BUT, all i'm saying, IS CALM DOWN for a few more weeks. But, if the time does come, write down in a letter what you THINK you should say to your mom. Be mature about it. Sit down with her and say: Mom I have a problem. You've done so much for me in the past, and I'm going to need your support for this. (because you DO need her support) and just got on about how you thought you were ready and how much you love your bf and how you got pregant. you'll be surprise on what she should say. she's your mom, she can understand.

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A female reader, Ms.Peecup352 United States +, writes (18 August 2009):

Ms.Peecup352 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ms.Peecup352 agony auntThankyou everybody for your help, yes my boyfriend is a little older then me, he's 16.

Im going to deffinitly wait before saying anything to anyone until I take a pregnancy test and when I get 2 positives then ill tell my mom. Thankyou

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A female reader, kayla20 United Kingdom +, writes (18 August 2009):

kayla20 agony auntok to me it doesnt matter how old you are when you fall pregnant and have to tell your parents its always hard.i fell pregnant at 18 and my family didnt take it well at all now im 21 having my second child and still they didnt take it very well.

first thing i would do is sit your mum down and explain to her that you have started having sex with your boyfriend be very machore about it dont start shouting even if she does.tell her that you confide in her and need some advice and that you have something important to tell her but in the same case it will upset and disappoint her.there is no best way to tell her that your pregnant you just have to get it out in the open, tell her what you want (whether you want the baby or not),tell her that you were carefull but abit silly at the same time.

if you are machore and be honest but at the same time admit your faults then atleast your mum can say that you are being very grown up which could go in your favour if you were to keep the child because your mums concern would be the fact of how could you bring up a child when you are one yourself and your immachore so prove her wrong on that and she should accept it.if you want to do it with your dad there too it would be more grown up however dads seem to take things worse because they cant really understand he might just be interested in having it out with your boyfriend.also i wouldnt let your boyfriend be there when you tell your parents good luck sorry its long

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A female reader, \m/J.D\m/ United Kingdom +, writes (18 August 2009):

\m/J.D\m/ agony auntyou do kno you may NOT actually be pregnant? and implantation bleeding doesnt ALWAYS happen. infact i had none whatso ever. i one- advise you to take a pregnancy test or 3 IF you miss a period. two- also get yourself checked out for any possible sti you MAY have contracted. three-you will be having sex with your bf again im assuming against all my better judgements so make sure he applies the condom correctly next time. do not get out of using them just because you MAY be pregnant or ARE pregnant. they are to protect you from infections not just pregnancy.

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A female reader, Nothappyjan Australia +, writes (18 August 2009):

u need to see a doctor. They can do a blood test to detect pregnancy earlier than a home test, that way you can know either way! Once u know for sure then u can talk to your mum.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009):

Satindesire has made a valid point here!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009):

As a parent, I ask myself "what's the worst thing that can happen to my daughter." Obviously the top of the list is death. And then things like abduction, terminal illness, etc. When you think of it that way, pregnancy is fairly far down the list. So put it to your mom that way. If you have a good relationship, as long as she loves you, she'll put aside her disappointment and get onside to help you. Ya, she won't be thrilled, and ya, she'll likely express disappointment. Be ready for that. But in the end a loving parent will come around, get over their shock, and be there to help you.

Good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009):

You need mental support right now. and turning to your mom would be the thing to do. Please listen to me. I have a 13 year old daughter and if she was to come to me in your situation, I would comfort her and stand by her side. you'll be surprised of how moms and dads are there for you when your in need and in trouble. How do you tell you mom? you just do, parents are here to raise you and to be there for you, good times and bad. that's are job. you need her now.

good luck to you, I wish you well

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