A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well I'm 15 and I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. I am sooo upset, I have found out that I am pregnant and I don't want my mum knowing because I am afraid she will think I am a slag.Please help what should I do ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ms.Helper +, writes (24 May 2009):
 I've just read all the responses and your 'problem' which now isn't a problem! Haha.Congratulations :) it's brilliant you have a baby girl, and you are focusing on your GCSE's too, and you still have your boyfriend with you :)Good luck with everything, you've been brilliant!X
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust a quick update, Shona is doing very well and have been told she can come home in 2 days. :D I am so excited.
Thanks yall
xxxx
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (9 April 2009):
 CONGRATULATIONS! So glad to hear you have a beautiful baby girl! : )
Don't worry - I'm sure she will be fine in a few months time, and at the moment she is getting the best care possible.
As for your life - I am impressed : ) It is great that you and your boyfriend are all organised and focused on still getting your exams, etc. I'm sorry your dad couldn't cope with it, but maybe he will come round in time. Your mum sounds like a great person who is being a rock for you - that is what mums are for : )
xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, just a quick update on my pregnancy. When I went to the doctors on the 9th December 08 I found out I was nerly 4 months into the pregnancy and a few days my baby girl was born but she is premature. The doctor says she will be fine am just hoping she will be. My boyfriend is still with me now and has givvin up his life for the baby as he has paid for the medication she will require and he has quit college to help with the baby but he will be going back in September. I shall be going back to school next January which is early but I need to focus on my GCSE'S aswell as our baby. She will not be able to come home till the end of may as she is not in the state of coming home. I feel a little guilty as she is a premmy baby. My mum has been there for me every step of the way but sadly my dad left home because he didnt want me to have my baby. We decided to call the baby Shona because it was my grans name who is now passed away. Thanks so much for the support and advice, I appreciate it so much.x
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female
reader, natasia +, writes (15 December 2008):
I am too just so so happy you told your mum - i thought she would understand, because she had you when she was young, and i bet she has never ever regretted that!! : )
It will all be lovely, I am sure ... am just so happy your mum and boyfriend understand that life is precious, and that it will be wonderful to have a little baby in the family. You are v lucky - lots of people don't understand that.
All best wishes and enjoy being pregnant - it is a very special time : )
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMe and my boyfriend have talked about this and he was happy but suprised. He gave me a huge hug and kiss and told me everything is going to be ok and that he will be by my side. Which i was glad to hear and also i have told my mum and she said that she wants me to keep the baby because its still another life growing inside of me. I am sooooo happy now Thank-You all so much you have been a great help x
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A
female
reader, Brollinwild  +, writes (8 December 2008):
I got preg at 15 in your same situation not wanting anyone to know but my mom was the 1st to know I was not even dating anyone at the time but had known the guy for several years and we had been 'talking' but nothing major...my mom was totally cool about it and said you made an adult decision now you are an adult you are a mother and from here on out you have to make adult decisions. I had my son at 16 yo he is 8 now and the best thing that has ever happened in my life I finished school, went on to be a dental assistant and have a wonderful job and many different opportunities to work in different places but I think the best thing and HARDEST was telling mom. Don't count on the guy being there for you I wish you all the luck there and will keep you in my prayers
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (8 December 2008):
 This must be terrifying for you, but you will get through this.
I am sure that your mom loves you and wants the best for you... and the baby is a life and you have to get proper prenatal care for the baby's sake.
Your mom may be angry, but I am sure that your mom will be emotionally supportive and you will be glad that you told her.
I'm not sure what your relationship with your mom is like, but if she is like most mothers, she'd do anything for you.
At least tell a trusted adult... it's the right thing to do, and you'll regret it if you don't. I'm sorry that you are in this situation, but you have to do what is right, for your sake, your mom's, and the sake of the baby.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): No matter how bad or good you get on with your mum, she is your mum and will help you, be there for you and care for you no matter what. Thats what parents are for.
Just find a quiet time to talk to your mum. Tell her you need to talk to her about something and you are scared about it and need her help. She may be angry, that would be normal, but understand that she will be there to help you. There will always be someone there to help you, parents, family, friends.
Maybe once you have told her, arrange to have a talk with your boyfriend and with your parents toge
ther.
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A
female
reader, LoveTheBunnie +, writes (7 December 2008):
Wow...Sweetie, you need to talk to your mum, exspecialy about something major like this.=) All the Auntys and Uncles are here for you. Hopefully the father of the baby will stand by your side.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have only had sex with him twice
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (7 December 2008):
ps
How to tell your mum:
Mum, I need to talk to you. Something has happened and I need your help. Please don't be cross with me. ..
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (7 December 2008):
You're 15. I'm nearly 40. Let me tell you what I've learnt since I was 15 ... (because you just do learn stuff as you go along, and that is what advice is - giving someone else the benefit of what you've learnt the hard way : ).
OK. First thing, your mum thinking you a slag or not isn't important any more. If you're going to have a baby, your mum will be thinking about the baby, and loving him/her as well as you. Once a baby is here, people stop worrying about how they came to get here, and just accept the baby and love him or her. So please try to understand that. Your mum would want to know about this, so she can help you.
I understand it's embarrassing, though, in a way, as being pregnant is a pretty sure sign to yr mum that you have been having sex ... you just have to get over that, though. Your mum will, for sure.
And as for what you do, well, that needs to be up to you and to yr close family and friends (anyone who can support you and help you work this out - and believe me, you do need to tell someone). I was forced into an abortion when I was 21 and I never really got over it. However, there's a huge difference between 15 and 21. How do you feel? If you don't want to terminate the baby, then there would be a lot of support for having him or her, but it would change the course of your life. When you have yr little son or daughter, you will probably think it changed it for the better! But you have a lot to think about, and talk about. Does yr boyfriend know?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy boyfriend is 17 and my mum was 17 when she had me. How should I tell her?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): Hi- Sorry to hear you're in this position! Firstly whatever happens, your mum probably needs to know - you will be surprised at her response i expect- if not then you need to discuss it with another adult you trust. You need to work out what you want to do about it, and the quicker you can the better all round! I was pregnant at sixteen , and didnt tell my mum for months- it was awful living a lie ! whatever happens, remember your mum loves you (else she wouldnt care) and once she gets over the shock can help you sort out a plan. Just remmber it will all be ok, whatever happens you can get through this- dont let it get youdown, try to start talking to someone about it. You will be ok XX
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male
reader, Daniel Olie  +, writes (7 December 2008):
This must be so hard for you! You're only 15, and already you're pregnant! No one your age should have to deal with something like this. However if something like this does happen, thank God you always have your parents to rely upon. They may think you've been stupid, but let's face it, this isn't quite the smartest thing you've ever done, is it? My answer would be to tell your parents the truth. They are your parents, no matter what. You shouldn't feel afraid to tell them anything. Be brave and step up! Show them that, even though you've done something irresponsible, you're more than willing to deal with it! They may be angry or shocked at first, but they'd still be your parents, who love you unconditionally.
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A
female
reader, katatonik +, writes (7 December 2008):
 Unfortunately, this is something you need to tell her about. You were mature enough to be sexually active...now it's time to be mature and face the adult consequences of making an adult decision.
She definitely won't be happy to hear about this at first but ultimately I think your mother will respect you more if you are honest with her about this than if you try to hide it from her. Please level with her about it so that she can help advise you on what the best decision here will be...be that adoption, abortion, or keeping the child and raising it yourself. We don't/can't know your family's financial and living arrangements, so honestly your mother will be your best source of information when it comes to deciding what you want to do about the pregnancy.
If you feel telling your mother will jeopardize your physical SAFETY then please tell a trusted family member or counselor instead. You are young and this is not a decision you should make alone. Good luck =]
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A
male
reader, Jon1230 +, writes (7 December 2008):
 You need to be honest with your mum. She brought you into this world herself and you will feel a million times better after the shock has past.She really needs to know as you need her support hunHope you take this adviceJon
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