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14, possibly pregnant b/f wants me to move..should I?

Tagged as: Family, Pregnancy, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 January 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 26 February 2009)
A female United States age 26-29, *izz rodriguez writes:

okay so i am 14 and i might be pregnant!!

i told my mom my boyfriend and his parents!!! but know he is movin to phoenix and he wants me to go with him my mom says i am going to ruin my life if i go but for me to do whatever the hell i want and i want to go with my boyfriend so bad what should i do i need serious help!!!!!

View related questions: be pregnant, might be pregnant

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A female reader, uhohspahgettio United States +, writes (26 February 2009):

Honestly, if I were you I wouldn't move with him to Phoniex. I'm 13 and I think I may be pregnant, but I won't be sure until tomorrow when my boyfriend buy me some tests. *back to the subject* If your boyfriend is about your age than it isn't a relationship that is going to be able to endure a lot. You should know how junior high/high school relationships are, they aren't very stable and can end without warning. You are VERY lucky that your boyfriend's parents are being so supportive, and your mom too. I can't even begin to imagine what I'm going to do tomorrow if that test turns positive... My boyfriend would go to jail, let's just put it that way. At least your situation isn't like mine, for me, if I am, my boyfriend will go to jail, I will lose my parents trust, (they don't even know I'm dating anyone.. :[ ) his parents will..oi.. I don't even know. Just be thankful your boyfriend is legal. :(!

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A female reader, im_a_dummy United States +, writes (10 January 2009):

im_a_dummy agony auntumm, well i am pregant and i wish the daddy was still with me, but that option wasnt open to me. the first thing you need to do is find out 100% if you are pregnant. If you are, you are going to want to keep your options open for as long as you can, think about wat options you will have for moving, and wat options you will have for staying, your freedoms, one thing that helps me when i dont know wat to do is i make a list of all the good things that happen if i do, and all the bad things that happen if i do. then all the good if i dont, and all the bad if i dont. wat ever has more good i would go with that one, sorry im not so helpful im only 15, and trust me hun, IT IS REALLY HARD! AND A LOT OF STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! having a bby and dealing with pregancy, i hope you do the right thing!

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A male reader, Aech135 United States +, writes (9 January 2009):

Aech135 agony auntI wouldn't suggest moving with him. You can't really count on him to always be there for you or for him to stay with you. Both of you are going to change alot as you grow older and even if you don't break up for a long time you may grow into people that just aren't compatible with each other. Your parents on the other hand are both much older and wiser than you and obviously have experience with the difficulties of raising a child. They are also likely to be more willing and able to give you the help you will need both financially and emotionally. I would take your mother's advice and stay.

to the below poster i think she said that her mother told her to do whatever she wants not that she was going to do whatever she wants didn't she? if not then i agree with you but if its her mother saying for her to do what she wants i don't think all the aggression is called for.

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A female reader, lovestolaugh13 United States +, writes (9 January 2009):

sweetie, you need to take a deep breathe and take control of your life. do what makes you happy, if you are pregnant and you really love this boy and you think he will help you raise the baby if you are planning on keeping it then move with him. but if he is just a boy friend and you may give the baby up for adoption or get an abortion then there is no need to move because your life is where you are now and moving changes everything.

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A male reader, yum yum Switzerland +, writes (9 January 2009):

yum yum agony auntHi dear, I can understand your difficult situation. I believe that you are too young to have a child and don't have yet the life experience, even though you are maybe more mature and more experienced than other girls your age. It takes a lot of responsibilty to bring up a child and also a lot of costs. I am affraid that I do agree with your mom, you risk to ruine your teenage years. At 14!! you are simply way too young to raise a child on your own. You are also farly too young to get commited into a relationship. If you get commited and have a baby at your age, you risk to end up with huge regrets because one day you will think that you did a foolish mistake. However I can understand the way you love him etc. You also see things in a more idealistic way at your age, so you might not see a clear picture of what the consequences are of getting a baby or getting into a commited relationship at your age. I hope I did not offend you, I am just thinking of your well being. Take care!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009):

well how much help do you think your family will give you with the baby etc if you stay with them?? and can you not go back home if things didnt work out with the boyfriend?

its an unfortunate situation, if it was me id probably stay at home and ask my boyfriend to stay as well... like its going to be really difficult and anyone i know who have had children when they were teenagers have always talked about how it was their family that was there not the boyfriend but that could just be the people i know...

even with you were with your boyfriend i would want to have my friends close by at such an intense time in my life

but as i said i presume if you leave with your boyfriend your parents would take u back if it didnt work out, good luck x

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (9 January 2009):

Stayc63088 agony auntNo one can say whether your life will be "ruined" or not. Leaving with him will leave you with little to no options should you 2 break up. Also you will need to be completely dependent on him and his family until you can get a job and make money. Kids are really expensive, does your boyfriend have a good job? Are his parents willing to pay for everything? 14 is very young to completely relocate. Have you thought about what you plan to do with your life overall? Like going to college? You need to think about everything besides just how much you like this guy. You are young. Do you have the option of going back to your family if you break up? If not, then what would you do? Not many people meet the person they are going to be with for the rest of their lives at 14. You will change a lot in the coming years. I'm not sure how far away you live from Phoenix but would it be possible to visit him? If you are both in love you should be able to stay together until you are both old enough to make this decision. Just really think about what you are doing please. My advice is to not go. I almost moved out of my house to live with my boyfriend years ago until my dad talked sense into me and how hard it really is to be basically on your own at a young age. Luckily I didn't leave because we didn't last and lord knows where I would be right now. Consider your options... please. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

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