A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Please help! I'm a 14 year old girl, blond and brown hair, slightly attractive, nice figure, killer personality and yet I've never had a bf. I always fancy someone but I'm far too shy to ask them out and I won't let my mates ask them out for me. This is really getting me down and I really really want to go out with someone very badly. :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): Omigosh I'm so glad I'm not the only one!! I'm 14 too, and I've also never had a boyfriend, and I'm also wayyy too shy to ask out my crushes, mainly because I'm afraid of awkwardness or rejection.
Reading all these comments so far they are really nice and reassuring, but it also seems aggravating that everyone says "just focus on school, wait a couple of years"--I mean, I want a boyfriend NOW! Well, I think it's really great that you see the nice things in yourself--looks, attitude, personality. I'm sure you're a lovely person and it's really great that you're self-confident, because I have days when I'm feeling totally down and ugly and self-conscious around boys. This is gonna sound corny but the most important thing is to be yourself. Guys will like you better for who you are than someone you're pretending to be, and the person you are is really a very lovely girl!
But...Even if you are yourself, it's probably gonna take a while before someone asks you out, because as everyone has been saying, boys are immature or shy or stupid at 14, and generally don't have the guts to ask out girls. So, if you want a guy, maybe get to know them, talk to them, and if you want, you can even do the asking! I know this sounds crazy, and I would be scared out of my mind to ask someone out, but chances are they are just as scared. On another point, I feel kind of annoyed sometimes because a lot of my friends have or have had boyfriends and it surprises me sometimes! When I told my best friend I'd never had a boyfriend before, she said that was really cool and mature because it meant I really didn't need a guy to complete me, which is totally true, you are yourself WITHOUT the guy. Don't know if this all makes sense, but basically you aren't the only one out there, just know that you should be yourself and be happy with that! Hope this helps :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): its nothing to worry about im 16 in a month or so and ive changed so so much from when i was 13 till now im a lot more mature also boys mature a lot slower than girls some of my male teachers who are in their early twenties are still more immature than me haha just concentrate on your friends and school studies i really wished id realised all this when i was 13/14 and its taken two years to not worry about all that and just be myself. boys are still all about video games and everything at that age just be yourself dont look for love it will find you
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A
female
reader, justjess  +, writes (7 December 2010):
 i'm 16, and have never had a BF, hell I've never even had a kiss. But I want a good life and I'm concentrating on other areas right now lol.
your 14, concentrate on your schooling etc, there are goign to be so many distractions in your life etc that you need to keep them to a minimum. Concentrat on YOU, find out who you are, what you want in life, and work on you confidence. You have no reason to be shy, your a younng attractive girl be yourself.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (7 December 2010):
 We have people who are 14-27 even who have never had a boyfriend or been kissed. So your issue is nothing new.
Let's see I didn't have a real boyfriend until I was 16. You know that way your boyfriend is your age and older, both of you or either of you have your driving license. Which is much more personal and romantic to go out on a date, than your parents dropping you off to go catch a flick. That's embarrassing. You'll get a boyfriend, it's just that at your age guys are more interested in video games, and hanging out with their friends than girls. Plus they're still in that awkward phase of starting puberty. So give it a couple of more years and boys will start maturing, noticing you, then that's when you'll get asked out. For now, don't sweat it.
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A
female
reader, TheHuggleBear +, writes (7 December 2010):
 Mate, I'm not gonna lie to you; you have got to slow down! I didn't have a boyfriend til I was 16 and I don't regret it at all! The older you are the more mature you can be in the relationship and the better it'll be =) I know its rough when people say that to you at 14 -- I've been there, and not too long ago! I hated being 14 and single with no prospects of romance; but once I did get a boyfriend I realised it was much better that way; you grow a lot in the time from 14-16; and while I'm sure you're lovely now, you'll be even more amazing when you're that little bit older!
And Chlo's right, a lot of the time they are more trouble than they're worth =P
Just focus on being 14; spending time with your mates and having a laugh!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): hii...
you sound a lot like me when i was fourteen. i know that this is probably not really what you want to hear (because it's not what i wanted to hear back then, either), but i'm going to tell you the same thing that everybody told me: just give it time. i know it probably seems like you'll NEVER find somebody, but trust me when i say that you will. i had to wait two more years before i got my first boyfriend. i'm nineteen now, and since that first relationship, there have been two more, as well as offers for several more. pretty good for someone who expected to be single for life, huhh??? ")
my point is, your time will come. for right now, though, just enjoy being young and carefree and having funn. you have PLENTY of time for guys. and believe it or not, once you've dealt with one or two of them, you'll probably find yourself begging to be single again. hahaa. ") just live your life, sweetie. love is gonna come when the time is right. ")
good luck, and God bless,
~sarsar~
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): 14 and not had a boyfriend? If you were 20 and hadn't had a boyfriend, I may understand there being a problem, but 14? Leave men for when you're older, they're more trouble than they're worth :) It will be worth it if you wait and meet someone nice rather than throwing yourself at just anyone just so you can have a boyfriend. The moment you stop looking and trying, the more likely you are to attract someone who likes you for who you are.
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