A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Guys, help me out here. I know men are visual, I've heard that many times. They like to look at the female body, my question is, would you be checking out hot babes on the internet while your girlfriend is sitting next to you? and making comments, Also, whatever we are watching on T.V. he doesn't go without making a comment about a woman if she is good looking. I have made it known it bothers me, I'm no spring chicken, 53, and he says I have the problem, I'm jealous of them. I don't have a problem, just prefer he didn't do it CONSTANTLY in front of me. What do you guys think? Anybody else do that to their girlfriends or would you?
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female
reader, underdog  +, writes (16 February 2016):
I think that's pretty disrespectful. There's making a comment every now and again, especially if there's a discussion or what not going on (about the only time my bf will make a comment) but every time a woman pops up, and to look them up on the Internet when you're sitting right there? Not on.
You've not got the problem and I think most girls would feel the same.
Personally I'd get up and walk out the room, you've told him it bothers you verbally, time to show it. Any guy who still does something after being told it bothers their partner is immature and hasn't learned how to respect boundaries.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 February 2016):
 Sageoldguy always likes a good quip,... but he jokingly exposed the core of your problem :
i.e. , not so much that your bf is crass and pathetic and drools over hot babes just while he is sitting right there beside you , but that you are still sitting there right beside him AFTER he has done for the umpteen time his crass and pathetic stuff which you can't stomach.
Always easier to change oneself than to change other people. Maybe you cannot change your crass and pathetic boyfriend, ( unless he is a young, mouldable teenager, which I would tend to exclude even if he acts like one ) but you can change your reaction to his actions, and your level of tolerance ( the moment he starts with his antics, game over , date over, you'll see him as soon as he gets out of ape mode). Or even better if you can change your criteria for selecting a boyfriend and start demanding a little something more for yourself, like simple basic manners.
In fact, maybe I am being more realist than the king, but what I'd be annoyed about in your place it would not be so much the fact that he is checking out hot babes with me sitting right there, as the fact that he is checking ANYTHING on the Internet,period, with me sitting right there .
Well, if you are living together, it 's OK some times- nobody can "do " togetherness 24 / 7. But if you are dating, and you came over to spend time with him, isn't he supposed to pay attention to you, and to find something you can do together ?!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (15 February 2016):
 Q: ...would you be checking out hot babes on the internet while your girlfriend is sitting next to you? "
A: Not if I wanted her to stay there next to me.....
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (15 February 2016):
 There is no jealousy and you don't have a problem. He does.
He is either immature as in teenagers needing to reaffirm verbally to one another which woman is hot, as a way to firm up the preferences. Or he is culturally boundaryless and does not know that, as humans, we don't have to comment on every erotic thing we see. Or he could be doing it on purpose just to tick you off.
Those immature teenagers quickly learn that there is no point in salivating over other women or sharing opinions about each and every because, ultimately, they will never have them. Likewise with the lack of boundary: why ramble about the women other then yours when he wont get them nor does it contribute positively to desire between both of you.
So it isn't you, it's him, who can't man up to maturity, and being of that age it really surprises me that he does not see that there are certain No-no's in a relationship: no talk of ex's, no talk of other women... Because both are excluded and pointless to your relationship. It's just simple pragmatism: focus on living and complementing whom you have.
I think you need to be strong in demanding and insisting on that pragmatism.
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A
female
reader, Honest-Lu +, writes (15 February 2016):
if a hot girl pops up on the tv my boyfrind makes a comment too it doesnt bother me at all... at the end of the day hes with me so why should it bother me?
same for you!
i think your being abit silly.
if it is bothering you that much, explain to him you dont like it and keep the comments to himself
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (15 February 2016):
 Grrrrrrrr..makes me so angry when blatant disrespectful behaviour is thrown in ones face as jealousy. I personally don't have a problem with beautiful women, even comment sometimes myself, but I would find it rather predictably annoying if I had to hear it each and every time one popped onto the tv screen but with regards to actively seeking them out while you are sitting there, well thats just tacky and ill mannered. Ever thought about reversing the tables?
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A
male
reader, Forge +, writes (15 February 2016):
 Put simply: that's pretty messed up, and any guy with respect for his girlfriend wouldn't eyeball any other girl, much less comment on her. That's wrong. You aren't jealous, he's a pervert.
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