A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi Agony Aunties and Uncles. I have posted on here and good some great feedback so I am back again. I just started dating this man from work (3rd date tomorrow) and he seems quite nice in one way but he is very very rude about his exes, including a wife and a long term girlfriend and a couple of women at work. The other thing is that he seems a bit odd. This might sound trivial but he is very twitchy and irritable and at night he stayed over and I got no sleep because he literally fidgets violently in bed. Also in the morning, I had a bath and he told me to save the bath water for him, even though he knew I had my period and had shaved my underarms in the bath. I think this is really unhygienic and I have never known a guy to do this! I thought he might be being romantic or something but he said he was saving water and looked a bit irritable when I said I'd prefer not to as I didn't think it was hygienic. Also he insisted on sleeping with the bedroom window wide open even though he knows I really feel the cold and get allergies at night. Does this sound like he is an odd guy?? Also, he told me that he was taken off certain duties at work because of his temper. Does it sound like he might have some sort of personality problem?? Would any other ladies on here put up with this stuff so early on in the dating phase?? ALso, he is a bit impotent at times which he blames on his exes and he cant wear a condom because he loses his erection and he can only have sex in one position. The other thing is that he has very bad breath and I am not sure how to broach it. Should I give him a chance or just dump him. He took me out for a lovely dinner but I got no sleep, pretty poor sex and his breath was just awful. I would so appreciate any comments. I have a bad habit of getting attached to the wrong guys and I don't want to make the same mistake so any objective observations would be really well appreciated. Thank you.
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at work, condom, erection, his ex, period, violent Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (15 February 2010):
 I would not want to go any where near him. So early in the relationship , he is exhibiting his true self. Can you live with a man like that ?
I don't think I want to. He is an oddball and lacks decent behaviour expected of a human being.
Don't be bribed by those dinners.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2010): i agree with vintage, when the bad outweighs the good then no you shouldn't date him. and you shouldn't have him in your bed if you don't like him.... and you shouldn't have sex with someone who wont wear a condom. (This might be different in a committed relationship after std tests but definitely not on the second date with an unhygienic person) this is not a match made in heaven in my opinion. mal
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (14 February 2010):
 Personally I wouldn't bother with him. It's very early on in the relationship to be dealing with behaviour like that. Life's too short to waste time on someone you are not really sure about! When it's the right one you know straight away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2010): You want to know if I would date him? Based on what you have said on here no I wouldn't
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A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (14 February 2010):
 Run for the hills!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): hi again! i'm not sure .. am interested to know if other people would date this guy .. i know it's hard to say cos you haven't met him .. his bad points are worrying me and no i don't think liking animals and being quite generous compensates for all these other weird things ..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): So he is quite generous, he seems to quite likes animals and he can be quite nice in a schoolboyish type of way.
Ask yourself is that enough to make you want to go out with him?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): My advice: DUMP HIM A.S.A.P. Not only does it sound like he has serious 'ex factor' but he also sounds selfish and definitely does have a personality problem! Get out quick before he hurts you. He needs to work on himself before he commits to another relationship. You sound like a decent woman with good taste and standards and you should stick to them. Don't settle for this kind of guy or think you can change him, it will only lead to misery. I've had a similar experience with my last boyfriend and boy did I get hurt! Move on and maybe concentrate on yourself a bit, such as getting more confident with yourself, so you don't have to settle for a loser next time. Take care :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): Hi there thanks for answering. Well he seems quite generous, he took me out to dinner. He does watch some strange films that I don't like and he said his ex had to watch the films HE liked otherwise he would have dumped her ... ??!! He can be quite nice in a schoolboyish sort of way but it is looking as though he has more bad points than good points .. which is why I'm so worried. He seems to like animals and can be quite generous with money but can also be strangely tight. It is looking as though the bad points stand out more .. he also makes racist comments a lot which bothers me as I have a wide range of friends from all cultures, class backgrounds and religions etc .. as I live in a very multi cultural borough and work for the health service and I am genuinely interested in people. Oh and the other thing is, he doesnt seem to have any friends, no male friends or female friends at all and his mother and him only talk on the phone on birthdays and xmas but he doesnt talk to any of his sisters and they dont talk to him. He keeps calling me his 'new woman' and saying what a 'thick bitch' his ex GF is and I am panicking that he thinks I am this wonderful person who will just replace his ex. We have only been on a couple of dates ..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): I have just read through your post. listing he bad points. Can you tell me what are his good points?
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