A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I live in Spain, am 15 years old and my boyfriend is 17. My father lives in Singapore, where I want to live, because I want to be an air traffic controller.My boyfriend is going to be an electrician and does not speak English. In Singapore the official languages are English, Mandarin Chinese, Malay and Tamil. Singapore is one of the best places to live in the world. I've always dreamt of living there...My boyfriend doesn't want to leave me, I don't want to leave him... But I don't want to live in Spain. I've always known my future is in Singapore, but I don't want to lose the love of my life.Should I go to Singapore for my future or stay in Spain with my boyfriend?PLEASE HELP. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (4 May 2009):
boy freinds can be changed,
but you got only one future and one life so live it right,
if he realy loves you he can wait for you to meet in vacations,
but dont ever let any one come between you and your ambitions and you uture,
i did it once long time ago and i still feel the pain when i remeber it,though my financial situation is allot better now..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): I moved to Singapore when I was 16 because my dad was working there. I lived there 4 years and it was amazing. I didn't have a girlfriend at the time but it was still very hard for me to say goodbye to all my friends. In the end, it was the most enriching experience of my life and I'm glad I went.I don't know how Singapore will help you become an ATC but it seems like you have a plan. Singapore is a great place to grow up but I doubt I'd want to return to live there. I like my civil rights in Canada too much (Spain has an even greater social rights ideology, just look at Judge Garzón). I didn't consider this before because I took it for granted. I realized it when I was there. So of my friends love it and moved back there permanent. I wouldn't despite how seductive it may be. Overall, best 4 years of my life so far.If you go to an international school, you'll be surprised how many people speak Spanish. There are over 1 million expats in Singapore.Consider these questions: Have you visited Singapore before? Is your life plan firm or are you still exploring career options. Would you have the means to visit your boyfriend once or twice a year to sustain a LDR during your stay abroad? Is he considering visiting Singapore?The only person you can count on to be with no matter what is yourself. The relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you can cultivate. Keep YOUR best interests in mind. His may make up a few years of your life. ATC may be a passing interest. Singapore may be a passing interest. You may outgrow your father's wishes (if that's a consideration) with time.They all pass. At the end of the day, what story do you want to write in the book of your life?
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (4 May 2009):
 My answer came out wrong... what I meant to say in my post is, I can understand why you feel torn. On one hand, your dad is in Singapore, so I can understand that you want to be with him. On the other hand, your boyfriend is in Spain.
What I meant to say is, you don't have to make an irrevocable decision yet. I think you should go to Singapore, but leave open the option of returning to Spain. It's good to travel and see the world before you settle down. You have plenty of time for that later. :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): Singapore seeing as you really want to go (i don't really see why you'd want to quit spain to go to a country with so many rules but you've wanted to do it for ages so why not)
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A
female
reader, free  +, writes (3 May 2009):
 if he loved you and knew you wanted to go to that other place he would want you to go because it'll make you happy. do what you think is best for you. the relatioship might not last but singapore will always be there.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (3 May 2009):
You live in Spain, you've found the love of your life... and that's your biggest problem? Man oh man do I wish I had your life!
Go to Singapore, and see how you like it there. It's hard to leave your relatives behind. You are still 16-17, it could be that you're just not ready to settle down. That's a common feeling at your age. Travel, study abroad, see the world. You need to get it out of your system before you put down roots.
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