A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i was naive and had never been in a proper relationship before, so when a gorgeous, charming boy starting showing an interest in me, i forgot all my morals and started having sex with him pretty soon. In hindsight i would never have done this as its just not who i am! and i have learned my lesson, next time i will wait much longer.But i totally fell for this guy! He is the first thing i think of in the morning and the last thing at night. We get on really well. I would love to be in a relationship with him but i don't know if he wants the same. He probably does just see me as sex, as we only really met in the evenings and 'chill' and we havnt exactly seen each others friends or anything. I am not deluded, i reolize that we are not bf/gf.But the reason why i am so confused, is that he gives off so many signs that he does want more, too:-After sex he cuddles me so sweetly and just wants to hold me and giggle or watch a movie. -He never wants me to go home and always wants me to stay the night. -When i go home he texts me and says sweet dreams.-After i've been with him i don't feel used at all, i feel great, he makes me feel so special.-He gets hurt when i talk about my future plans and don't really put him in them. but i'm not putting him in any of my future plans unless he commits to me and treats me like a gf taking me out and introducing me to his friends.-He gets hurt thinking i don't want him to meet my friends, but this isnt true. I want him in my life.I keep on asking him what he wants from me, and its not like he turns around and says 'i just want you for pure sex'. Quite the opposite, he says he likes me too and has feelings for me and that we are bf/gf. and that he really does want to give me more but that his situation is bad at the moment as he is broke as he has lost his job and is living with friends.He comes up with silly excuses like that as he has no money at the moment he can't take me out etc. But this is silly as i know he goes out with his friends.but its been a a few months now and i have had enough of being in limbo. I refuse to go on having such a close connection with him without being a proper couple. If he really wanted me as a gf he wouldn't treat as if we are just FWB. and would offer to do things during the day etc. i have 2 questions:1)What does he want? 2)and what should i do about the situation? stay or leave?
View related questions:
lost his job, money, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): anon, do you think so? if thats the case then i can easily let him know that there is nothing i want more than to be with him!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): Hey there,You might be the problem here. He might want you to make the first move. He is probably afraid that you dont want to be in the commited relationship. If you are talking about all these plans you have and dont have him in it. He will be thinking you are not commited as such. He wont want to waste money on you that he doesn't have incase the relationship doesn't work out. He is waiting for you to introduce him to your friends first before you meet his. In the future i would try saying thing like.. i plan to do such and such, or if you are still around i will probably do such and such. Not just a straight out negative on his part. Make him more involved. He won't make the move as you are pushing him out. HE doesn't want to be seen as the weak one. If he does make a proper move at it, by the sounds of it, he thinks you would reject him. He is trying to protect himself and preserve what you have right now. He is trying not to let things change as he doesnt know what you want.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): the problem morgan5885 is that i have already asked him this and he says he DOES want a relationship and does like me. but his words are empty as he doesnt act do the things he should be if this is what he truely wanted:like introducing me to his friends and meeting up more during the day and generally going out his way to be with me.i know somethings just not right!
...............................
A
female
reader, morgan5885  +, writes (3 May 2009):
he seems really sweet, just tell him ask him which he wants, full on relationship or just sex if he says just sex, leave
...............................
|
