A
male
age
51-59,
*r. Jones
writes:My girlfriend opened up and told me of the 9 sexual encounters she had over a period of 9 years, two of which was from a long term relationships, but the others were to fill in the void and get even to the steady guys she had. She had sometimes been sleeping with 3 different guys at the same time, eg; her ex, his cousin and her new boyfriend. She expressed that she wanted to come clean with me as marriage is now the topic. We have been going out for 3 years now and without trying to judge her, I find myself doubting her trust. She gave some details to some relationships, now when we make love I get that picture of her and some other guy... even if I did not know her then, this still bothers me and not sure what or how to react. She has expressed her love and committment to me extensively and wants to re-assure me that I am the only guy for her and she has found true love with me.. Help please!!!
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cousin, her ex, period Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lovejunkie  +, writes (3 August 2007):
 I think many of us respond the same way to the discovery of our love's previous lovers. My first husband's ex-wife was this tiny brunette with long hair and when I'd run across pictures of her I always felt a pang of jealousy because she was beautiful and had the perfect body. Sometimes I would picture them having sex and it bothered me a great deal. All I can say is as your relationship grows stronger, you'll think less and less about these things.
A
female
reader, edsbabygirl  +, writes (3 August 2007):
 You just need to believe that she loves you. Once you really believe that, you won't be as bothered. If those things make you uncomfortably to know, then you need to open up to her. Does the number of guys intimidate you? Well Dr. Jones good luck!
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A
female
reader, Helen Help! :)  +, writes (3 August 2007):
 Look she was willing to come clean in the first place n by her own choice so thats one thing she wants to be completly honest with u n have no secrets if you are goin to get married. You cant blame her for her past and you need to start believing her when she tells u that all she wants is u because just from what u have said about her i can see all this women wants is you now as for the you thinkin about her with other guys whilst in bed, what ya playin at YOUR the one that has her mr they dont shes all yours and she wants you to be all hers. do not doubt her trust unless she has done something to hurt u in the relationship that your having with her. the past was then and u are now :) take care
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