A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Let's call one X and the other Y...X and i have been together for over a year,we've gone through problems(as with every couple) but we split up a while ago. During the course of our relationship i met Y and Y is totally great! So as time went by X and i drifted apart and i started falling for Y but i managed to stop myself from falling completely because of my relationship...After the split Y kept making his moves and i eventually started liking him again. X and i split up but we're acting like a couple,i know he really loves me and he tells me but because we dated before he doesn't want us to date again because he knows things will changed! I recently started going out with Y but i still have feelings for X! I really can't say i still love him as i used to,things changed because he took my love for granted...i don't what to do because i can't tell either one about the other and i can't let go of either one...HELP!!
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female
reader, Tinkz +, writes (19 June 2012):
 To me it sounds you cant let go of x because he has made the choice not to get back together. you yourself said that you drifted from him. its nature to want what you cant have. and yes things would have changed and the relationship will be different because you have experienced and different connection to someone else. But dont hold on to someone because you are comfortable. in the long run you may find yourself ina relationship that you resent because you were too afraid to let go.
There is nothing wrong with having feelings for X, you guys share a history and im sure many memories. and those may be precious but you are clouding the possible memories with Y.
you dont have to discuss your predicament with either of them, but you need to sit yourself down and think really hard about what it is that you want and need...
you mention that X took your love for granted.
dont you think you are doing the same to Y.
Living in the past tarnishes your future.
Write down a list of the things you love about X and then one of Y, then do the opposite, write a list of the things you HATE, and the last list, the things you are willing to settle for.
then the hard part, compare. and if you find that you do want to be with X or Y, then you make sure you give it your all, so that if it doesnt work you can always say your worked out your pro's and Con's and you gave it your best and it just didnt work!
Or you will end up with the best man for you.
hope this helps
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