| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Some women in my culture (eastern) consider their body as something to be revered and not looked at with any judgement about it. At the same time, they want to command equal treatment from men at work and in society. I find this to be difficult to understand. Is it wrong to look at their physique with some judgement, if it doesn't really affect the way you behave with them? I just have to shy away from looking at them as i feel guilty when they start covering up themselves or feel bad about looking at them with a critical glare. Any advice on how do i work on this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (24 March 2007):
 I don't think that it is possible for men to completely stop looking, it simply has to be done with more finesse. It is well known that men are visually driven (which explains the single largest use of the internet). BUT, if the looking turns into staring, it is innappropriate in most cultures, Especially in the workplace. There are times and occassions where it is fine to glance and admire, say weddings, where women have put on there best finery and a simple "You look lovely" is always appreciated. Women are not stupid and know when a man is holding his eyes somewhere for too long, so try not to get to the stage where you should be sitting on a wall yelling "Hey Chicky Baby, Woo Hoo!". If a woman gets stared at in the workplace, it is Insulting to her because the man has turned her from a Colleague into a Sex Object. So what to do if you admire a certain woman at work? Glance briefly, don't stare and whatever you do, DON'T get caught looking! Hope this helped!
A
female
reader, Altindie  +, writes (24 March 2007):
 If women want equal treatment from men at work and in society, they desire to be respected as individuals - so instead of focusing on their bodies or gender, you would focus on their personality, their attributes, what makes them a good person or a good coworker/member of society.
Of course, we are human, and we are judgemental creatures by nature - always trying to better ourselves or how others see us. It kind of affirms us when we judge others as being lacking in some physical or psychological level.
The key to this is to stop thinking of women as women and start thinking of them as people. It IS possible, when you have a good enough relationship with someone to become completely ignorant of gender issues, or sometimes forget that they're a male or female. I get this when I ask my boyfriend to accompany me to the women's toilets and he gives me a funny look. XD It takes a while for me to register that he's actually a boy because I have become so accustomed to his company and we relate so well.
So to answer your question, try to concentrate on being confident and friendly, but never stepping across their personal space. If you are confident and friendly, and disregard their gender / treat them as equals, they will feel far less intimidated with their appearance or their bodies and this will make things a lot easier for both of you.
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