A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello all, I'm a 22 year old female and I have been seeing a 21 year old guy for around a month now, and a couple of days ago we decided we were pretty much boyfriend/girlfriend and made it official. I really like this guy, I'm really happy!However I do have a small worry. He's already told me he's falling for me, then he said he's fallen for me. I have a feeling the L word might be appearing soon (he's already said it while he was very very drunk) This is a little bit fast right? I really like this guy, but I definitely don't love him yet - that's not to say I won't ever be, because I'm very sure that given more time I will be.So I guess I'm asking if this is normal, I'm very scared of being hurt again. He's such a loving guy, and I'd like to know how I can say that I don't love him yet without hurting his feelings? So yeah, a couple of questions there lol. Any input would be much appreciated, anyone been in a similar situation? Thanks very much in advance!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009): Try this.
Pretend to break off with him.
If he treats you kindly, think about a longer term relationship.
If he treats you harsh or unkind, well, you know what to do. Run
Also a word of advice. If he behaves differently when he is with others than when he is with you then he will not likely me true to you.
A
female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (3 January 2009):
 My ex told me he loved me on the 3rd date... Talk about fast. I stammered. I didn't know what to say. I told him I didn't know, it was kind of soon but give me time, I like to say it when I know I mean it. We dated for about 9 months and I did end up being in love with this guy. Tell him how much you care about him and really like him but you aren't quite there yet. Just explain to him that you don't like to say it until you are sure. That way when you do end up saying it, it will feel that much more special because he knows you mean it. He shouldn't be too upset. This has happened with my ex like I just mentioned and my current boyfriend but both times I did end up falling for them, just a bit after they said I love you. So don't worry. Good luck and I hope you 2 stay happy together :)
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A
male
reader, NITRAM BLUE  +, writes (3 January 2009):
 This is a little bit fast right? Yes its a bit fast.He's such a loving guy, and I'd like to know how I can say that I don't love him yet without hurting his feelings? Take a cue from a Janet Jackson song which is appropriate for the situation you're in:There's something I want to tell youThere's something I think that you should knowIt's not that I shouldn't really love youLet's take it slowWhen we get to know each otherAnd we're both feeling much strongerThen let's try to talk it overLet's wait awhile longerLet's wait awhileBefore it's too lateLet's wait awhileBefore we go too farRemember that special nightWhen all of the stars were shining brightWe made our first endeavor to stay togetherWe made our very first promiseTo love, to share, and be real honestBut on that very first nightIt wasn't quite rightLet's wait awhileBefore it's too lateLet's wait awhileOur love will be greatLet's wait awhileBefore we go too farI didn't really know not to let all my feelings showTo save some for later so our love can be greaterYou said you would always love meRemember I said the same thing to youYou don't have to be frightened with my loveBecause, I'll never give up on youLet's wait awhileAh well before it's too lateYou know you can't rush love, loveLet's wait awhile(Ooh hoo hoo)Before it's too late(Let's wait awhile)Wait awhile(Our love will be great)Let's wait awhile(Wait awhile, ooh)Before we go too far, oh, oh, oohLet's wait awhile(Let's just take our time)Before it's too late(Let's wait awhile)Your love's so good(Our love will be great)We shouldn't rush in(Let's wait awhile)Slow it down(Before we go too far)OohI promise, I'll be worth the wait
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A
female
reader, EmRaIrKiAe +, writes (3 January 2009):
 I was going out with my boyfriend for about a month and he said i love you for the first time. I didn't really believe him so i straight up asked him how do you know for sure? So this way you can decide whether or not he means it by the reply. You can also say to him that you are still getting know what a great guy he is and don't want to rush into something as serious as love yet if he is a good guy he'll respect that yo udon't throw your love around.
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