A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll start off by saying that I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 1/2yrs he is 29 and me 24. I know he really loves me and cares for me. He always tells me how he loves and that I'm the love of his life and how he would never cheat on me and always wants to keep me happy. He does pretty much everything I ask him to do. I guess I am a bit controlling and the jealous kind but that's what he likes he tells me how he likes me controlling him. I know he loves me but sometimes I feel like we are not in the same page. I don't know how to explain but sometimes I love him and sometimes I don't and instead I feel attracted to other men. Sometimes I feel like ending things, but I'm scared because many times he has told me how I'm the love of his life and can't live without me and literally tells me that he would kill himself if I ever left him. I'm his third girlfriend and he is always talking about getting married in the near future. I just say yea maybe in a few years but I think he is just not realistic he has no job(never had a real job) no car and is talking about us moving in? I just don't know how to break his bubble that if things continue like this I'll never move in with him. I feel like I can't keep letting the years go by waiting for him to get his act together. I on the other hand have at least a job not enough to move out on my own but at least am working my ass off while he barely moves a finger to look for a real job. Plus I'm going to school and have my own car. I don't want to be the one driving us around. I've told him that he has to get a job and even started withholding intercourse but he just won't get it and talks about getting married in a year. How should I approach him? and make him understand that things can't go on like this anymore I've had enough of this for more than two years.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell this is a really late reply but let me finish the ending to this situation.
I broke up with him 2months after this post, a month later got back together(huge mistake, but i guess i missed him since i had already gotten used to his presence), but glad to say that a few weeks ago we broke up for good and I don't miss him anymore so I shouldn't give in to him begging me to go back with him. Although the last time we talked he still threaten to end his life(which worries me because I know before me he was a lonely & depressed person) I going to give it some time to talk to him just to see how he's doing.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (17 November 2012):
 A wise person once said, "Roses lose their bloom. So do relationships". And I think this is the best thing about dating, you can test the waters, see if you're compatible and if you realize down the line that you're not, then you break up and move on. You are not bound to anyone in any way and you obviously have to look after your best interests.
Remember one thing always OP. Your boyfriend will be fine without you and you are in no way responsible for his actions. He was surviving fine before he met you and he will be fine even if you're not with him. All this talk of killing himself if you leave him is bullshit, its just a way of making sure you don't leave him by scaring you, which is working.
You know OP, once the honeymoon phase dies, reality kicks in and that happens with everyone. It did with me too. And this is when you have to think about what you can live with and what you cant live with. Talk is cheap and your boyfriend needs to back his words up with his actions. If at 29 he is jobless and without any ambitions and yet wants to marry you, how on earth does he plan to support you? And why should you compromise? There's nothing wrong with knowing exactly what you want and its great that you have a firm head on your shoulders.
How should you approach him? That's simple. Just don't beat around the bush, be direct and honest, tell him that its not working out and you need to end this. You are not compatible with him and this is not going to work. Someday someone will make him very happy but that someone is not you.
Stand your ground, don't give in to threats and don't ever feel guilty about breaking up because you're not doing anything wrong.
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