A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hi thereI have been in a FWB relationship for several months. A long distance one but we travel to see each other kind often. At the beginning he seemed really interested and now he is more distant and i start to feel cheap. Just not good enough. I have feelings for him and i know that if this continues i am going to fall for him.So i want to end it. How should a FWB situation end? Should i give him an explanation? Just a quick text saying we are done ? Do not make any intention to see him again an let it die?I was thinking to just disappear because it would be easier and i do not express things which i do not want to. But maybe he deserves more respect than this.What do you think ? Thanks !
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female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (1 October 2010):
I think the best way to do this is to ask him if he has intentions of developing this into something more serious. Then you would not seem evasive, you would not have to wonder the what ifs. I see nothing wrong with expressing feelings. It is a very honorable thing to do because it shows that he's not just a body and that you care about his soul. Actually there is no need to express before you hear his response. He could be distant because the initial attraction phase has waned and he's wondering what's more to this. You can help him clarify what you want and it may even convince him that a relationship is a good thing. If it doesn't work out that's okay too. Your time with him is yours. Always remember that your self worth is not measured by whether a random man wants a relationship with you.
A
female
reader, happy24birthday +, writes (1 October 2010):
A quick text saying it has to end is all you need to do. Be prepared for it when he doesn't contact you as well as for when he eventually does. It's not going to be easy, but the only way to end it is to END it. Tell him it's over then stop all contact.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010): I have a FWB and we have been seeing each other for over a year and a half. At first I thought it was wonderful, I mean, it is still wonderful but I have really fallen for her. She told me about this guy she met and how she 'could love him'. Well it drove me crazy with jealousy even though she wasn't having sex with him and she was with me. It just made me feel like crap because why am I not someone she could love? Especially since we get along so well and always have fun and great sex. Well a few weeks later she hated him, said he was just trying to score with him because it was 'a challenge'. And we are still seeing each other so I am glad I did not express my jealousy, although I did tell her I love her - which she did not want to hear.
Anyway I guess that was a little off-topic, but my answer is, don't just disappear. Tell him, talk to him. Who knows? Maybe he is acting distant because he is falling for you and he doesn't want to be hurt.
And nothing hurts worse than being dumped without any word of explanation. I know - my wife of 10 years did that to me.
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