A
female
age
36-40,
*raemills
writes:What do I do about this guy I have connected with?So I graduated college and it was a year since my first big breakup and I planned to go leave and teach in Honduras. Enter: Dave. Dave was this guy who I had been extremely attracted to since I first saw him; his appearance, his humor, his demeanor. He was a friend of my good friends roommate. I often saw him around our mutual friends at gatherings or parties and I would always love talking to him but I never hinted at going out or he did. We are both shy. Fast forward to the month I am about to move to Honduras. I see him down town at a festival and we both hung around each other and planned to get something to eat the next day. We did and it was great. We kept going out. Sorta keeping shy and closed. Then we started sleeping together and getting really bummed that I was leaving. So I left still without talking about what we were to each other. We wrote to each other four times then he took a long time responding. so I decided to try to not think about him anymore. When I came back early I saw him in town and we had a great time together but I had to live with my family in another town. So I only saw him every month or two if I was in town. But we would see each other casually and not really text in between. I knew I liked him a lot but felt like he was not very upfront about wanting something from me. So I decided to move to austin from az. he got a hold of me when he heard i was moving and got a hold of me and when i was in town we spent 3 days together and finally he told me that he had waited for me the whole time I've never been there (our friends confirmed, he's actually never really had a girlfriend) he misses me when im gone and he thinks im the right person for him. I hadnt been a relationship in the mean time either. I just hooked up a little nothing close to serious or even ppl I'd consider. I was surprised because I had underestimated our effects on each other. I told him I was sad because I was always moving away when things may have started with us. after that visit we have been texting and talking to each other on the phone. i am still moving to austin im kinda stuck but should i pursue a long distance relationship. i've never been so attracted to so much of a person before for so long. i feel like i wish i wasn't moving. would i be a jerk to ask him to try long distance since Im the one always moving away? would he take me seriously? long distance till my lease is up, i do some art shows, and i move back? My best friend who is waiting for me to move in with her would be screwed over. I just knew I liked him I just had no idea how we both felt about each other since I saw him last. I was more ready for it this time than before.
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female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (24 July 2013):
It doesn't hurt to ask him if he wants to try a long-distance relationship, especially if you plan to come back after a year. A year can fly by - and if he was already waiting for you, then maybe he would be willing to wait another year. You guys could visit in between and get to know each other better with talking on the phone, etc.
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