A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend says that he wants to work things out after he had found out that I cheated on him, I'm happy that he wants to take me back but how do I handle him being nice to me one minute and nasty the next? He is now saying that he wants to have babies with me and to be honest I do want his children but will it make things worse than they are? 22 years old and he's 21 years, been with him for 6 and a half years and love him dearly. please help. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): Having children would only make things worse. Sorry to be so blunt but kids can not fix this relationship. If he can't treat you (a being capable of reciprocating love) right then how would he act toward a baby that screams most of the time and whose diaper he has to change. You need to make sure this relationship is stable and caring before you even consider having kids or not.
A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (16 July 2007):
 Babies are real people. They shouldn't be used as tools to fix a relationship -- what a lot of responsibility to put onto very small shoulders.
PLUS, babies add a lot of additional stress. You'll both be exhausted with all night feedings and 24/7 care of a helpless being.
It's also a lifelong commitment. You can't try this and then give it back if it doesn't fix your relationship.
Don't do this. Do not bring a baby into the world under these circumstances.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (15 July 2007):
 He has to stop being nasty to you. If he can't handle the emotions that came with you cheating then he shouldn't have got back with you. It'll take time for you both to get over what happened and for the trust to come back in to your relationship but that doesn't mean he can be mean to you.
I would suggest you both put the having kids off until you have your relationship sorted out. It's not right to bring kids in to something that isn't a happy relationship! Kids will not save it.
Talk to him and ask him why he's nasty to you? And why he wants your kids right now when your relationship is just getting back together.
xxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, Butterflyfly +, writes (15 July 2007):
 from the top of myhead, from what you said here I think he is attached to you and desperate not to lose you and would do anything to secure having things back the way he liked them. i think he is terrified of you leaving him... he may believe he is honest now but i suspect he is just very very very scared of you leaving him. with the children issue, as anywhere, just please dont rush and have them as a way to fix something.. do you want to have his babies NOW or do you at this stage only want to patch things up or maybe you only feel guilty for hurting him(as he sounds a nice guy, wanting you back plus your babies)?
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