A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years which ended last July. She lived in Europe and I lived in the states. I broke up with her because I was scared of moving to Spain. The strange thing is I had a ring and I was going to propose to her but instead I broke up with her. We kept in little contact for 4 months after which I told her online I had feelings for her and wanted to be with her. I even told her I had ring for her. She responded by saying why I told her so late. So for the last 4 months I've been trying everything to get back with her. She tells me no and than she tells me she's not sure and then no again and then she says she's thinking about it. I'm flying out there in a week to see her and hang out with her. She agreed so she could figure out how she feels about me. I don't see how after a 2 year relationship she can tell me she moved on and has no feelings and not to get my hopes up when I'm out there. She says it's all about her and not me. Do you think she still has feelings for me or am I flying out there to get hurt? What can I do when I'm out there to get her back to help her remember what we had?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008): Two years is a long time to be in a long distance relationship, Its clear you guys have something going on here but both of you are afraid of the unknown at the moment, I say go for it, rather fail having tried than not knowing what would have happened. She seems keen to meet with you but don't get your hopes high, expect anything.
Good luck,
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (31 March 2008):
 I think you blew it the first time. This girl really loved you and you broke her heart. Now she's not so sure of what to do, but she will very likely say no. If I were her, I would doubt you. I suppose she is hesitant whether she should give you another chance just to get her heart broken again.
All you can do is fly to Spain and see whether you can save the relationship. If she says yes, stand up to the challenge this time.
Either you have to move to Spain or she has to move to the States. Or you two move elsewhere :-). But you can't stay in a long distance relationship forever.
Think very carefully what you will do. Don't break her heart again.
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A
female
reader, lah mouw +, writes (31 March 2008):
 Well, obviously you can't force her to take you back, so when you go visit her don't even bother trying to persuade that sort of thing.
-If you really want her back, just show it by being yourself, the person she fell in love with in the first place.
-Just think that she fell in love with you once... there's no doubt it can happen again
-Even if she end up not wanting to get back together, make your visit worth while. Try having a blast no matter what the out come may be.
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (31 March 2008):
 She may really be undecided because of being away from you for so long.
When you see her again just be yourself. She fell in love with the real you in the first place so don't try to be someone you are not. It would probably be a bad idea. Doc
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