A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:As I’ve gotten older my taste in what is attractive in men has changed and I find men my own age much more attractive than the younger men I dated in my youth . Quite a few of the men I have dated have mentioned how younger women are so good and seem to think they are better in some way or at least that they prefer them physically. I was on a date last week and found him very attractive . He was older and looked it . His greying hair and lines looked only added to his character and sexiness but I fear he doesn’t feel the same about me . We were having a discussion and he commented that he had a friend who was lucky enough to score a 21 yr old and said if only he was so lucky . Do all older men think younger women are superior physically to older women .
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2019): When you're looking for a meaningful relationship you only need to consider what the one meaningful person thinks and feels, particularly in respect towards yourself.
This man's obvious remark makes it quite clear that he is not someone you should ever consider seriously dating.
His remark is intended to destroy your self esteem and he has suggested it and endorsed it as 'something all men think!'
You have no reason to believe he is anything other than a walking scoreboard.
His attitudes will undoubtedly stay the same and he has clearly let you know that he is proud of himself.
He is a very non serious contender for your affections and you should look for the one shining light whom you can happily settled down with, not a walking talking scoreboard.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (13 December 2019):
 We live in a society which admires youth and beauty. You've only to look at adverts for absolutely anything and see the models they are using. Even when it comes to ourselves, we hark back to the days when we were younger - when we had no grey hair, were slimmer, had less wrinkles, were fitter, got admiring glances.
Also men are usually more "visual" creatures than women (hence porn being much more a male than female thing).
All that said, a man who goes on a date with a woman in her 50s and admits he would love to "score" with a woman in her 20s lacks class, even if it was said as a joke and even if he stood a cat in hell's chance of a 20 year old giving him a second glance. Personally I would also find this a bit creepy (after all, he was probably nearly old enough to be her grandfather).
I am of a similar age to you and, if I even notice a particularly good looking young man in his teens/20s, my first thought it "what a lovely looking YOUNG BOY". Never once does it cross my mind that I might want to "score" with him as, for me, there would be no emotional connection. When people discuss relationships with big age gaps, my first question is usually along the lines of "But what do you talk about when you are not in bed?". I work in a company where ages span from teens to 60s. While my younger colleagues are pleasant enough, I find it very hard to find a topic of conversation which interests me AND them for any length of time. All we have in common is that we get paid by the same employer. I could not imagine - even if I WANTED to - having a relationship with any of them. They are lovely in their own way but, in my eyes, children.
All that said, if you liked this guy apart from that one comment, then perhaps give him a second chance. Perhaps it was just first date nerves and he was kicking himself afterwards for coming out with such a silly comment.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2019): How about a lot of younger men love older women? They know we're hotter as we age. Think about that! Old men fail against the young guys and their six packs and endless stamina!!
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (13 December 2019):
 I don't think I will be able to follow up with the finesse that Wiseowl gave for his answer (he is brilliant in his responses) but I will do my best to give you a heartfelt answer.
First off, let's be honest OP. Almost everyone with eyes admires youth and beauty/good looks whether its a young man in his prime or a beautiful young lady. It doesn't mean that every man on the planet wants a young chick so please don't try to group every man into one category. Don't do that to yourself and don't assume.
Oh yes there are men out there that think only a hot young chick will do and they will do anything and everything to snag one but let's be honest..the AVERAGE young lady doesn't want a man that looks like her grandfather. She's just no interested. As Wiseowl so sagely pointed out..if you see a young woman/older man couple the odds are he is loaded and banking her. Sad but true. Same for older woman/younger man. Not always of course, but alot of the time.
A smart man knows that a woman closer in age to him will more than likely understand him, "get him" and be able to relate to him. He will appreciate her wisdom, experience among other things such as personality, talent...etc...He wants someone who will be there for him through thick and thin and the pains that come with getting old. He isn't going to want some ding dong who doesn't know the music of the 80's or doesn't know about Watergate..etc...A wise man knows a woman's true worth and can accept wrinkles, not so tight skin because he's aging too!
I am in my mid 50's. My husband is 6 years younger than me so he's not young either but we have had this conversation about young women and him. He's a professor at a medical school so trust me..young impressionable girls are all around him. He's smart and kind and I happen to think he's very good looking. He says that younger women hold no appeal for him whatsoever basically because he can't relate to them and finds them childish and extremely immature. He likes to come home to me (the old bag) because I get him.
Please don't sell yourself short ok? You just ran into a dude. All men that are older do not want a younger woman. I promise. The ones that do? Well who needs them? Let them chase the younger girls and make fools out of themselves. Most younger women laugh at them. I know I did when I was younger...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2019): Nuh-uh! Nope! Uh-Uh! Come-on now!
Some people think one race is superior to another. Should any credence be given to those kind of opinions???
As we age, it's human-nature; to wish for and desire the things we can't have, or don't deserve, anymore. All the cool youthful-stuff that's no-longer age-appropriate! We look ridiculous! "Sir, is your daughter old enough to be served alcohol?" "Miss, she's my girlfriend!" Red-face!!! "Oh...can I take your order?"
Are all older-women with money cougars chasing boy-toys in their 20's?
Seriously?!! Yeah, May/December is what's happening...but not everyone gets the privilege, or wants it!
Let me make you feel better!
Here's the reality you should keep in-mind! I feel your frustration! Take an extra-strength chill-pill!
There are old skirt-chasers who only go after younger-women; but unless they've got serious coin, they're wasting their time! The old rich-ones are prey for gold-diggers! You've seen the silver-haired stud-wannabee in an expensive sports car with the top down; and the supermodel in the passenger seat, with her hair blowing in the wind! She's dating his wallet and the car...he just comes with it! He's paying off student loans, her rent, hosting shopping-sprees, and chasing more than catching!
With the exception of good-hearted healthy older-men who still want to become fathers. There is nothing wrong with that. He isn't likely to impregnate a woman wellpast her childbearing years. Men can produce active sperm and father children well into old-age. It's not ideal...not if you want to be active enough and live long-enough to enjoy your kids until they're full-grown, and watch them get old too! Science now makes it possible for women in their 50's or 60's to carry a baby full-term. It's risky, extremely expensive, and pretty rare. Most ladies are finished once those eggs stop producing! Either they've had all the kids they want, or are happy to be childless! There are some who have their regrets, of course!
Some people think one race is superior to another. Should any credence be given to those kind of opinions???
The men you are referring to, are a "type!" They fall into the category of "undesirable-match" or "reject!" That is, if you're a single and available mature-woman. Yet it seems, it is they who make a much stronger impression on women; than mature-men of strong and upright-character, for some mind-boggling reason that defies all logic! Why be so dismayed over somebody who doesn't want you??? Strong-women don't seem to be phased by that kind of juvenile-mindset in men. Such notions and stereotypes get way too much publicity! You've obviously run into a few of them, or one in-particular!!! If you married one of these, so so sorry! Guess you won't be much longer; if you're writing a post disparaging the male-gender. Based on a few, not the majority.
Those are the ways of aging lecherous old-farts, unlikely to get a younger-woman; and the kind smart older-women should avoid like the plague anyhow! If I'm not somebody's type, why should it matter to me? On an overpopulated planet, tis logical I'm somebody's type!!! I don't give-up searching, if they don't appear when I snap my fingers!!! Most things that are precious and valuable are rare; and not easy to find. If you feel you deserve it, seek it. Just be patient enough to look until you've found it! I did, and I have!!! I get back what I give! I didn't seek something to pacify or flatter my ego...I searched with my heart in-mind!
"Old-man lechery" is symptomatic of an oversized-ego! They can't even produce enough testosterone to maintain a full-erection to back-up all that machismo and bravado. "Limp-dicks" I think is the crude term! Low-hanging testicles that aren't that appealing and totally gross to the younger adult-female! We get used to wrinkles, sagging, and gray hair when we grow old gracefully. It doesn't seem so unattractive when you have them too! Right? I didn't mean the low-hanging testicles, dear!
Wrinkly disgusting flabby balding old-farts who want what they can't have usually do believe younger-women are superior to older women; but it's not an appetite they easily get to satisfy. It's a wonder older-women still want them, when they've completely let themselves go! Young-men are superior when it comes to youth and vitality. It's a fact of nature. Not everything! Like wisdom, the handsomeness that comes with silver hair and character-wrinkles. Nature offers the mature our best physical-traits as well. If you take care of it like you're supposed to. A healthy-body prolongs your vitality and energy well into your old-age! Loveliness and sex-appeal aren't only traits found in younger-women! Even an idiot knows that! So do some young fellas!
You see, the vast majority of younger-women don't feel the same about old-men vs younger-men! The good-looking old-guys only think as you described; because they're suffering a vanity-crisis with aging. They have to face the reality that younger-women will become harder to get without flashing cash. The refined older-gentleman would fare far better with a lovely mature-woman; who understands what aging is all about. Being on the same-side of the clock; as a couple, they'll take that journey together with the knowledge the clock only goes forward...not backwards!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2019): There was a very large and well known study done that showed that although women’s preferences for the age of the man she wanted to date grew with her age to around a few years either side of her age , men’s preferred age of a date for a female partner remains at age 22 almost for life . So in other words a 22 year old man would prefer to date a 22 year old woman and so would a 50,60,70 yr old etc According to this study , and several others , according to the study women only become
Less attractive to men after age 22. Take a look at most women in porn to see what appeals to most men . When women get online and complain that their older husbands are watching women half their age , they are told ‘ oh he’s probably not lookimg for that it’s just what most porn consists of , younger women ‘ yet when women complain that porn is demeaning and displays unfair unrealistic representations of women showing only young beautiful women they are told ‘ no no no porn s great it shows such a wide variety of women and there are all body types ‘
The truth is the VAST majority of porn IS young women and if a man seeks mature women it’s a ‘fetish’, he has to type those specific searches and those types of stars make up a minority . Why is that ? Is is because far fewer 40 or 50 yr old men watch internet porn . Hardly . It’s ve abuse the men watching mostly want to watch young women.
They will scream all types of biological ‘ we can’t help it arguments it’s our biology , but the fact is it’s been ingrained into women that a male the age of her son is to be cared for as a junior not sexualised . This is largely a conditioning
Of course we are only talking about men’s preferences and not what men can actually score but I think some women find it disheartening to know that deep down men would prefer to have a 22 yr old IF only.... of course there’s always exceptions to every rule but finding them may be like a needle in a haystack
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2019): sure he wasn't just joking, some men will say that but reality is different
I find men seem to find me more attractive now than what they did when I was younger and I'm 45 years old, so no I don't think it's the absolute norm..
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 December 2019):
 Well, fact are that we ALL (men and women) grow older. Some of us change preferences (like you now prefer a mature man over a young "stud") some don't.
I think many (not all, mind you) men think that the "ultimate prize" is a woman who doesn't age or a perpetual 20's something.
I have to say that it's a really crude, uncouth, rude and immature statement to make to your date that his friend was able to "score" a 21 year old and he wishes he could too.
I'd said, "I wish you luck, gotta run my old geriatric ass home" and LEFT the date, because seriously?
But to answer your question do ALL older men think younger women are superior physically to older women?
Probably not. I don't think ALL older men share one brain and ALL think and feel the same. Just like ALL older women don't want the same in a partner.
THIS date you had, as attractive as you found him, was a total DUD!
Next.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2019): I'd say most do. Which is social conditioning, not nature despite what some people who completely misunderstand evolution would have you believe.
But not all. There's no such thing as all. I woudn't bother with men who think it's ok to make comments like that to their date though. They're obviously insensitive, juvenile, pervy old gits.
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